Child support is supposed to be for the benefit of the children, not to support ex-wives lifestyles. So many women fleece their ex-husbands for all the money they can get and treat it as an income source for themselves. Sure there are many fathers out there who shun their financial support for their kids, but there are also many who pay their fair amount for child support. It's a sorry man who will not support his kids, and it's a sorry woman who will use the money for her own benefit.
On visitation, women cannot withhold visitation in order to control the financial issue. Even if a father is not paying child support or is not paying enough, he has the legal right to see the children and any court will uphold this. Financial support and visitation are two different issues. It's plain sorry for a mother to withhold visitation to get money...it's the kids that suffer. Too many wome think this way.
2006-12-21 06:17:13 · 15 answers · asked by Johnny G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Wow, the attitudes come right out don't they? For the record, I have never missed a dime of child support I have had to pay and plan to pay every dime until my kids are 18. I have also never missed a day of my visitation and have missed no events or activities in their lives. I live very modestly so that I can afford to pay. Meanwhile their mom has greatly upgraded her lifestyle with a new car, new furniture, a swimming pool, vacatons, etc...
Financially, fathers get screwed and mothers get all the benefits, tax breaks, etc...and you sure know how to milk the system.
Y'all women need to stop watching so much Lifetime TV.
2006-12-21 06:42:08 · update #1
Sorry some of you can't understand the question. Perhaps I should have stated it this way: Why do mothers use child support and visitation to maintain control over their children's fathers?
2006-12-21 06:46:08 · update #2
I totally agree. Conflicts between parents will end up having the children suffering. They are the ones whom parent should be paying attention more to rather than when the "paycheck" is going to come.
2006-12-21 06:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You should call your lawyer and let him write something up so you can take him back to court. If you have a court ordered child support and visitation document it is not up to either of you when the support is paid or the kids picked up. Read over your divorce papers and you should find the rules the judge set up. If it says "Support will be paid in full by the first of every month" and he has not done it he is in contempt of court. Under the same rules no matter how late he is with the payments if you go against the court order by not letting him have visitation you can also get in trouble. You didn't mention how old your kids are, but you should talk to them about their fathers behavior in an age appropriate manner. As far as the Christmas presents this will be a good year to teach the kids that Christmas is not about gifts! Explain to them what the meaning of the holiday is and that its a time to be with family, then spend the day with them watching Christmas movies or baking cookies (if you can be up for that long). If the presents really bother you go to a local church and explain the situation and they should be able to give you a few toys (its a little late though so understand they might not have any left). Hope everything works out!
2016-05-23 05:57:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no right to withhold the child due to no payment of child support. However child support is an obligation, not a friendly suggestion. It really irks me when people say that it is for the benefit of the mother. The fact is she is putting a roof over the child's head, feeding, clothing providing it with medical care, she is the one taking the day off work to care for the child in times of illness. She is the one shelling out money for field trips, treats, all those little extras that occur on a daily basis. It adds up to a lot of money. The court take this into consideration, child support is based upon income.
Again I must repeat withholding the child from the father is not the solution to child support woes as it does hurt the child, for a delinquent father there are many option she can pursue legally.
2006-12-21 06:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by smedrik 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, this is an editorial or a blog, not a question. You asked the question with the purpose of letting us know what you think the answer is and arguing with anyone who disagreed.
First, child support has nothing to do with how deserving the custodial parent is. It is for the child. Of the people involved (mom, dad, child), the person who had the LEAST say in how everything turned out is the child. The child also can't earn money to take care of him/herself.
I personally think it would be appropriate to go through legal venues to make sure the child, not the custodial parent, is reaping the benefits of the child support, either by putting the support money in a trust so that interest is used, or forcing the custodial parent to provide proof that thie money is being spent for the child's well-being, or to allow child support to be paid by goods rather than dollars (the non-custodial parent pays the child's medical bills and buys the clothes, rather than sending a check and trusting a sometimes untrustworthy spouse to use the money wisely.)
Visitation is not a means of manipulating the non-custodial parent. They get their visitation rights, end of story. If the custodial parent is in violation of court-appointed visitation rights, he or she should be legally punished.
2006-12-21 07:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
[quote] On visitation, women cannot withhold visitation in order to control the financial issue. Even if a father is not paying child support or is not paying enough, he has the legal right to see the children and any court will uphold this [/quote]
And any court will uphold a ruling for contempt for his sorry **** not paying child support!
The sorry bugger should be shot! But that would be too good for him.
2006-12-21 06:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by left handed math geek 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are correct on all counts...
In CA the courts use a machine (program) diso-master to calculate the amount of child support to be paid using the father's income and the mother's - so it is not either parent that determines amount. Of course even with this system people still try to not pay enough or ask for more than they are allotted. The system is not perfect but it is run by people and we are not perfect either. Hopefully in the long run most parents will try to do the right thing by their children.
by the way what was your question?
2006-12-21 06:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Becky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is a reason that they are seperate. the county makes money off child support and the prosecutor will give free legal representation because of that fact. they make no money from visitation and if you are denied visitation the prosecutor will not represent you. you will have to hire your lawyer. the result is a double standard,because both support and visitation is in the same court order. before some of start whining about me sounding like a "bitter dead beat dad",i have custody and won it without a lawyer. i just dislike the current practices of the courts and have even went to court in my ex-wifes defense. stop the term deadbeat dad",there are also "misfit moms". it is a BS term that people use as a propaganda tool. the courts are suppose to an impartial system. which they currently are not. because they can, courts are set up to allow it,most men after paying support and bills can't afford to hire an attorney.
2006-12-21 06:40:45 · answer #7 · answered by J Q Public 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You make some very good points. Regarding child support, check the statutes in the state that issued the child support order. Many states allow fathers to petition the court for an order requiring the mother to account for her expenditures of child support, including producing receipts.
2006-12-21 06:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well...what do you mean support lifestyles...?
I receive child support. And, I use it to help pay bills. Like, electric, gas, rent, phone bills, sometimes gas for the car. Groceries if we need them. So, while it's not specifically for my son's benefit, he needs all of those things and that's what the money goes to pay for.
What bug bit you to anger you about child support issues?
As far as visitation goes, my son is seven years old. My ex husband has actually requested to see him twice. Once about four years ago, and then he decided he wanted my son in his wedding almost two years ago. I let him do it. He'll figure out his daddy's a moron in due time, I don't need to influence that decision in the slightest. It all comes out in the wash. Always does.
2006-12-21 06:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by sdkramer76 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
1. Child support is determined by the courts based on income. Ex-wives do not determine the amount of child support they get.
2. Child support is not just food and clothing..it is also shelter and other necessities and expenses.
2006-12-21 06:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, yeah. You sound like a father who is not paying child support and is mad that he's not getting visitation. Step up and be a father! Pay your child support! You can't claim to be the world's greatest father and not be paying child support! It's plain sorry for a man not to support his kids!
2006-12-21 06:21:06 · answer #11 · answered by harmony220 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋