well last night we were arguing and he told me that i made him fustruated and i felt bad he told me he didnt want to talk to me and i didnt know why
i just really want all of this to be over the yelling the disrespect the arguing the fighting i just want us to apologize to each other and draw some boundaries and lines and come to several agreements but i dont know how to let him knhow that i love him and we need to quit acting like little kids and grow up. i tried it all already i even told him it wasnrt me with the issues it was him and yeh , he got mad at me and said he tought it was best for us to not talk until days later cuz he was fustruated about me going to the club. and to call him when i had to home ugh he really is making me mad i wish we could just quit all of the bullshit and settle this like grown people that we are and move on and get everything back to normal. what should i do?
2006-12-21 06:05:56 · 15 answers · asked by kandi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just like you asked this question is exactly how you need to talk to him. You both need to communicate or your relationship with not last, or if it does you will both be miserable. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-21 06:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
::sigh:... its amazing how so many people go thru the same thing at the same time.
my boyfriend and i have been going thru it as well. This past weekend he made me so upset that i punched the wall. 5 days later and my hand still hurts. Its funny what you said b/c my bf is the same way. he wants to 'get away from me' when we argue.. and will let an argument make him upset for 2 days.... stubborness
I dont know what to tell you.. i can tell you what i've tried.. and little by little it seems to help.
1. you have to try to TALK to him; not scream at him or argue w/ him.. just TALK. Try a time when you two ARENT already arguing. just a mutual easy going time.. tell him you need to talk.
2. make sure YOU dont raise your voice..... I know my boyfriend has a tendency to get upset when he thinks im upset.. and it just keeps escalating and getting worse and worse.
3. im not sure if you're religious.. but i have been praying A LOT lately. the other day he said something to piss me off.... and thats what i did.....
i went into the living room (he was in the bedroom), closed the door.. and prayed.. cried and prayed.. for about 30 min..
It calms me down... helps me to think clearer
4. you need to decide if this is really going to work. you have to be realistic about the situation. if the good doesnt outweigh the bad anymore.... maybe its JUST NOT GOING TO WORK.
its hard to admit that (which is why im still 'trying to make it work')..... but at some point you have to do whats best for you.
its so bad w/ me sometimes i cant sleep well.. my nerves are all jacked up.. and i realize God is putting me thru this for a reason.
Again, if you're not religious.... i apologize. But... seriously
you have to find something to relax you.. humble you..... center you when you get angry about something he does.
Maybe you should suggest this too.
Remember.... if both of you are acting like kids.... you CAN be the one to step up to the plate and be the adult......
Good luck . let me know if i helped any....
2006-12-21 06:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by sa_hollingsworth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all when you start a conversation with "you" that will put him in a defensive place. he will feel like he is being attacked. try saying "i do not understand why you feel this way, can you explain it to me?" if talking without accusing does not help you then maybe you should not be together. if you are unhappy theen he is probably unhappy and that is no way to live life. there is a chance that you are not compatible and should be with other people.
2006-12-21 06:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by mel2430 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two will never stop fighting until you understand each other. Simple you all should avoid doing things to make each other upset. no sense in talking things out when action speaks louder than words. it takes two to argue that is why he is ignoring you.
2006-12-21 06:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ans 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should both take time to cool off. Then you should each make a list of what is bothering you and sit down and talk about it like adults.
2006-12-21 06:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mystic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
EVERYBODY has problems
maybe its your problems and his fighting it out
not you and him, just the problems
its fun and ok to kids sometimes, for fun or cuz you need to go back there to fix something
do what feels right I think, follow your heart
2006-12-21 06:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to recognize that it is not just him. It takes two to tango. Try getting through a day without contradicting anything he says.
2006-12-21 06:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by rollo_tomassi423 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you stop and if he starts again just answer him "i love you" works for me when me and my boyfriend are going through that "phase" or just start talking about anything and dont get stuck on the argument...
2006-12-21 06:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Duke it out
2006-12-21 06:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by scottboss64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are not going to argue with him anymore....if he starts to argue, kick him right in the nuts........that will shut him up.......why do you want to be with someone that you argue with all the time.....move on...
2006-12-21 06:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by besthusbandever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋