Parents who home school your kids ...?

Question

are you always over-protective of your kids? i have this friend, and we recently got to know each other. She was takin' one algebra class this semester at the college i attended, and still homeschooled. Her mum refuses her to hang out with us, or participate in the activities we do (like going to the movies and stuff). It's basically home and school. We talk on the phone and visit each other, but still that's as far as it goes. I was just wondering if all parents who homeschool their kids are this strict or over-protective, or it's just her mum?

p.s. i don't think it's a good idea to do this to children, cuz then they start rebelling, and they can rebel in an awful way if they are this restricted, and the consequences can be gruesome; i do hope my friend won't find the urge to do that because she's already told me she hates it.

Answer 1

No, no, not all parents are like that. I know plenty of homeschooled kids who don't attend public school but still have public schooled friends. Her mum is just particularly over-protective.

Over-protection comes about among families who homeschool, who send their kids to public or private or charter schools. There's no monopoly. ;) And yes, it's detrimental to be truly over-protective and restricting. Fortunately, the many homeschoolers I know aren't.

Answer 2

If you're talking about the answers in here, understand that these are very quick answers with generalizations. Even in general conversation, it will be the same--a brief generalization or talking about trends. I doubt that any parent in here believes that ALL public school kids are on drugs, smoke, etc. However, those activities are usually more prevalent in a public school environment than in a homeschooling environment. And that's the point: the frequency of certain activities in particular environments. Home schooling will be great if the parents make it great, although the student has a part in it, too. At your age, it's up to you to add some into it to make it great, too. If you are bulimic, you had better get yourself counselling to deal with the deeper issues going on. If you don't know your multiplication tables, what are you going to do about it? You have a choice in your life and can take some control in it without engaging in bulimic practices. What can you do today to make your homeschooling experience, and yourself or your life in general, better?

Answer 3

I am in high school and i am home schooled.
last year i attended public school, where i was
so distracted with boys, friends, ect. that i failed
almost every class. I am glad that my parents
stood up and made the decision to homeschool
me.. Now i have like a 3.2 instead of a 1.7...
so people can judge how homeschooled people
are but i feel that if you dont try it for your self
then dont give ur opinion at all! If i wasnt home
schooled i would be in the same hole that i was in last
year.. my parents arent over controlling they just CARE
about me and my future and want me to have the best
educatin possible! open your eyes! And no we dont rebel
i am wayyy closer to my mom than i was last year...
My sister is in public school and shes the one rebeling against my parents! So it depends on the person..

Answer 4

So you met her in a college class? And she's not a college student....just taking the class right? So are YOU college age? I'm just think that as a mother, I might not want my daughter who is not college age to be hanging out with college students. If I remember correctly, you're a guy, she's a girl....so maybe it has nothing to do with being homeschooled...just that it might not be the wisest thing for a high school aged girl to be hanging out with a college aged guy going to 'the movies and stuff'. So maybe the Mom is just using her best judgement and prohibiting that for this time.

Answer 5

I was homeschooled, but my parents weren’t over protective. If they had been, they wouldn't have let us play with the kids in the neighborhood, and would have monitored our life with our friends, keeping us in such a tight restraint life, we'd have been miserable. Sure, my parents where concerned about the friends we chose, but aren’t all parents? They want the best for us, but for us, it was never to such an extent that they kept us from society. lol I've seen parents that where extremely strict, and it only cause problems. I've also seen parents who were too lenient, and that caused problems. I think the important thing is a good balance of discipline, wisdom, and most of all, respect. Kids know when someone genuinely trusts them.

Answer 6

I agree with you about parents being overprotective and overly controlling. I think some parents do this whether their children are in public school, private school, or home schooling. I do worry about parents that are like this that are home schooling though, because then their kids don't seem like they would get much of a break from the rules at all. Hopefully most home schooling parents do realize that their kids do need some freedom and free time.

I went to private school and public school and my dad (I was raised by a single parent) was very overprotective, so I saw how this could be detrimental, and have tried not to be like that. My in-laws are also very controlling and over-protective with their children, but are public schoolers. I'm glad they don't home school because they are so controlling. Their dd that is in college has gotten into substance abuse and legal problems and I think has done this to rebel as well.

On the other hand, I don't want to be totally permissive and not know what my kids are doing. I do like being involved with my children and giving them some guidance and helping them with problems and that kind of thing. Those were the good things about my dad's parenting and I want to copy those parts of his parenting because I knew he was trying to keep me safe, help me get to college, etc. It's tough being a parent, and trying to be a moderate and moderating influence, but we all do our best I guess.

Answer 7

I was homeschooled and my parents allowed me a decent amount of freedom when I was a teenager. My curfew was flexible as long as I let them know where I was and if I called to let them know if I was going to be late. I was allowed to hang out with friends as often as I could. I attended my boyfriend's homecoming dance and prom. They had raised me with good standards and I knew what was expected of me in any given circumstance by the time I was 15, so they were more than willing to allow me the freedom to be a teenager! I think it's very sad what your friend is going through. No parent should be that overprotective. It's very harmful for the child because they feel that they can't be trusted by their parents even if they have proven that they can be trustworthy. The only advice I could give is to continue to support your friend and allow her to be who she is, even if her parents won't.

Answer 8

No.

Is that too short? My kids are all younger, eleven and down, and I'm not even that protective of them. My oldest just spent two hours at Blockbuster hanging out with his friends and going to get pizza and stuff at the Mazzio's. They spend a lot of time hanging out. My younger ones hang out in our house because it's the cool house, but they like to go to friends houses as well.

I certainly don't like all their friends. But they have to make their own choices. My son chose to get away from one guy who was a bad apple, and I'm certainly glad for that, but sad for him too.

It's totally individual. Some parents are like that no matter if their kids are homeschooled or public schooled. Public school kids just have more of a chance to rebel than homeschooled ones do. But like someone else mentioned, it all comes out in the end.

Answer 9

Not all mothers of home schoolers are over protective of thier children and really you don't give enough information. She is aloud to talk to you and visit you so is it that she can't go anywhere or just anywhere with you and your group of friends? Also you say she is taking a class at the college, it could be that you are over 18 and she is not, maybe still in high school, in which her mom may think you and your friends are to old for her to 'hang out' with.

Answer 10

There are a lot of reasons a family will decide to homeschool. It sounds like this family made that decision for protection from the outside world. Without knowing the whole story about this girl and her mother I don't feel qualified to comment on that, but I can comment on the homeschool community in my area.

I homeschool my children. They are younger (10 and younger) and we decided to homeschool for academic reasons. They are incredibly social and are involved in a lot of different activites with both homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers. I don't feel I'm over-protective - the fact of the matter is, I like having them around and like knowing what they are doing.

People think that when you homeschool you go in your house, board up your doors and windows and shut the outside world out. That is not true. Most homeschoolers are outgoing and able to relate to people of all ages, instead of just people their own age. They tend to be more responsible, and mature. Not every homeschooler is like this, but not every homeschooler is introverted and devoid of social skills either!