What is the average age parents tell their kids about sex?

Question

What age is it appropriate for kids to understand? I just want to inform my child the right way before hearing it from the kids at school.

Thanks.

Oh, by the way, I have a boy and he's 9 years old.

Answer 1

Ideally, you talk to your kids about various aspects of sexuality from the time they are big enough to notice things like they have a penis and their sister doesn't, or whatever natural questions arise. "The talk" is pretty embarrassing for both parent and child if the natural aspects of gender and reproduction haven't been addressed before.

When kids are quite young, they notice the differences in male and female bodies. Matter of factly, you say things like, "Yes, you have a penis, because you are a boy. Someday you will be a man, and then you could be a daddy. Your sister has a vagina, because she is a girl, she will become a woman, and she could be a mommy."

If you have pets or other animals around (even visits to a farm or a zoo), it's natural for kids to ask questions about baby mammals. Answer the questions honestly and without freaking out, so they don't feel that they are asking about something bad or forbidden. Don't give more information than they are asking for; they don't need to know all the particulars of intercourse at 4. But if they ask how the puppies got into the mama dog's tummy, or how the baby got into the next-door neighbor, say something like "Mothers have a special place for babies to grow that's close to their tummy. The father and mother both have special parts that are needed to make a baby." Then just keep answering the specific questions, if there are any.

At age 9, I would ask your child what he has heard about where babies come from. Trust me, it's a fascinating subject, and he has surely heard something about it. Often kids have some pretty wild misconceptions, which you can gently correct with information.

For young kids, when they really want to know the details, you can say something like "When a man and a woman really love each other, they like to be very close to each other. To make a baby, it takes a sperm cell from the father and another cell, called an egg cell, from the mother. When those 2 cells combine, a baby starts to grow." Keep answering the questions, because if you are embarrassed and flustered, the kids will get uncomfortable, too, and they will get lots of misinformation from their peers.

I would also interject that it's important for kids to understand that having babies (and sex) is something that is for grown ups. Kids need to know about it, because they will be grown ups someday, but sex and babies are not for kids.

Answer 2

Well this was back before kids used the term "gay" as an insult, and back before 10 year olds smoked like it was not odd. I'm 17 now, and there are kids at the age of 10 having sex now, and I was learning what it was at that age(10).

Now a days, since so many kids see things on TV and are influenced by so much I would say mention the topic at about the age of 6 to 8. Start to go into more detail around the age of 10 to 12 because by this time their bodies will be changing, and they're gonna have some questions.

Hope I helped. Also, don't be freaked out if they learn and hear things from children at school. Sometimes it is the only way some of them feel comfortable, is by their friends, just make sure they have the right facts and not false ones.

I was told in the 2nd grade that I had a baby growing inside of me, and I was gonna kill it because I was dared to eat napkins. I didn't believe it, because I knew the truth...so make sure they aren't getting crazy stories like that. Good luck! Hope I helped.

Answer 3

I've been talking to my kids about it at some level since they were 4. example:
Age 4: where do babies come from?
from mommies (not the stork, not the baby store)
Age 6: how do the baby get in the mommies?
(mommies and daddies ask for God to bring them ; so now knows both man and woman involved but not really how)
Age 8 -10: This is where you start talking about detailed differences between men and women. I also explained to my son that puberty would be coming and explained the changes that would be occuring in his body. He was kind of embarrassed but these are thing I'd rather he hear from me. I also explained that girls would be going through changes also. he was embarrassed about that as weel but her asked some good questions. when he turned 10 or a little later I ask him what he knew about sex and he knew that men and women have sex and that's where babies come from but he doesn't really understand what is involved yet. During all these conversation you also have to address what is inappropriate touching. you need to make them aware of abuses. It's really rather difficult to draw the line between being informative and overinformative. good luck.

Answer 4

I told my kids once the 1st questions started coming. If they ask the medical advice at that time was be straight foward & give correct anatomical names for the body parts. If they ask why you take a shower alone or anything subtle you can start the groundwork. I would definitly tell a daughter about periods before school starts.Told mine who helped an 11 yr old when the time came. You will know the right answer for you.

Answer 5

My oldest child seemed like an adult around 8 or 10. He will be 20 in July. The next one did around 12 and she is 16 now. The youngest is 13, he will be 14 in July, and he still seems like a kid.

Answer 6

I don't know where your child goes to school (what state) but my daughter (at 10 years old) brought home a permission slip letting us know that they were going to be learning about all of that in a special health class. At the time my husband and I didn't think that it was a good idea so she didn't get to go, however, I wish we had now. If the school is going to be talking to them about it, I would let him take the class and then you can talk to him about what he learned and see if there is anything that he is having a difficult time dealing with. I hope you have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Answer 7

I was wondering the same thing. I have a 5 year old son and was thinking it was about time to make my husband have a talk with him. :) JK. We'll probably both do it. I went to babycenter.com and they had some great advice on there about how to talk to your kids about sex, what's appropriate, what's not, etc. There's a whole big section on there about talking to your kids about tough subjects and they're all age appropriate.

Answer 8

I never heard anything from my parents, I'm 16 Right now and all I learned about sex(which you can guess) was from reading and seeing and experiencing. Don't let your children learn about sex in the outside world. I think that you should tell your child whenever he/she starts puberty. I would have wanted my dad to tell me at that point, because is when you start to change and you start to wonder about the opposite sex and all that has to do with it. Puberty is a good time to tell your children.

Answer 9

in these days its hard to say when to tell your kids about sex becuase they learn from many sources such as tv's there are kids who are 10 yrs old who are getting pregnant and thats just wrong but its happens everyday but the best age to tell them is maybe 11 or 12 becuase thats when they start to mature and hit puberty and thats also when the curiousty starts to hit.

Answer 10

I got a book on sex when I turned 10 and was told to read it and if I had any questions to ask my mom. It seemed a good age to me, but it was a rather embarrassing moment.