Everyone knows what all the women in the family is getting....candle toppers. If I burned candles, that would be okay, but I don't. What am I supposed to do with it?
2006-12-21 05:51:17 · 25 answers · asked by KJ97Y100 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She and I don't have a "good" relationship. I dread visiting her. The past presents she has given me have a "country" feel, but I am more simplistic casual style (which she should have figured out in the 7 yrs I have been her DIL). Last year she gave me a shirt of a color that makes me look jaundice. The year before it was a sweatshirt with birds and bird houses embroidered on it. The year before that it was personalized ornaments for the family (but my name was missing)...you get the idea.
2006-12-21 06:14:46 · update #1
Be grateful for what you have.
2006-12-21 05:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything to your mother-in-law about it. The appropriate thing to do with a gift that you don't want is to pass it on to someone who would appreciate it or throw it away and not mention to the giver that you didn't like it. Especially when it's your mother-in-law, preserving family relationships is much more important than getting angry about a candle topper. Besides, I don't think she picked out this gift purposely to spite you, since she is getting the same thing for all of the women in the family. And chances are that she really doesn't know your taste, if you don't visit her very often (which your question would suggest).
2006-12-21 14:25:19 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't tell her you don't like it. You should say "oh this is nice but I don't have any candles to put it on, what do you think I should get." Let her know that you don't burn candles but you appreciate the gift anyway. Next time she will keep in mind that she doesn't really know what you like and what you have. With in-laws it's a compromise.
2006-12-21 14:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by katiej47 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't tell her anything. You graciously accept the gift because it was thoughtful that she got you one at all. I get similar things (the embroidered birdhouse sweatshirt sounds familiar) and I sold it on Ebay. Some people really like that stuff.
2006-12-21 14:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her unless you just love drama. Pass it on as a gift to someone else or store it away. If your aske about it just say you haven't found the best place for it yet. If she bought everyone the same thing she didn't put much thought into it and she'll probably never mention it to you.
2006-12-21 14:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The polite thing to do is to accept it graciously - smile and say thank you. Being nice doesn't cost you anything, and might help to improve your relationship.
Considering things between you two are less than stellar right now, telling her the harsh-but-honest truth is probably a bit more brutal than is necessary. Things could always be worse - she could always not buy you anything at all!
2006-12-21 15:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by ceboily@rogers.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law used to give me presents I didn't want too. You can't afford to tell her it stinks - you have to live with her for the rest of your life. What I did, and this takes some time, is I started asking her what SHE wanted for Christmas and following her instructions exactly. After a few years she would tell me what she wanted, then automatically ask back what I wanted. Now we are both happy and no one was insulted.
2006-12-21 14:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
it is best that you just tell her thank you for the gift, and leave it at that! You don't want to tell her to her face that the gift she gave you stinks! That could make her mad and you want to try to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law! Just give the gift to someone else that you know, but that does not know your mother-in-law!
2006-12-21 14:01:44 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Sweet Pea*~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't tell her they stink, you just take them nicely and give them to someone else.Lots of people like candles. she might thing you can use them for a romantic dinner or something. So be nice and say thank you. the last thing you want is for your mother in law to hate you.
2006-12-21 14:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by emilieeee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up and say thank you. Be grateful for what you get. If you can't use it, you can re-gift it. Give it to a co-worker or a friend for a birthday or Christmas gift later on.
2006-12-21 13:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by CarolinaGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go buy some candles and then you can use her gift. Candles are beautiful and smell nice and ease stress (which it sounds like you could use).
2006-12-21 14:00:08 · answer #11 · answered by Debra D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋