2006-12-21 05:23:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
way too many to choose from hunni
2006-12-21 05:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
A lady decides to have a themed costume party, where everyone dresses up as emotions. On the night of the party she answeres the door and sees a woman dressed all in green. "Oh," says the hostess, "you must be Jealousy!" She admits the next guest, who is wearing pink. The hostess laughs, and says "Someone's Tickled Pink!" Finally a man comes to the door, and he is totally nude. Additionally, his penis has been carefully placed into a small bowl of pudding, which is taped to his leg. "I'm sorry, Ted", says the hostess. "I have no idea what emotion you are supposed to represent." Ted says "Isn't it obvious? I'm Fu**ing Disgusted!"
It's not the funniest joke in the world, but I like the wordplay.
Get it? Disgusted = this custard... *tap, tap* Is this thing on?
2006-12-21 06:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by Medusa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol this site has a lot of cool jokes check it out for yourself!! :)
http://www.ebaumsworldnews.com
The Joke Box.
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in
Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him
there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife
a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail
address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he
missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly
preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When
the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,
let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the
screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
2006-12-21 07:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by Emzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into the job centre and goes to talk to an advisor.
The advisor asks him what qualifications & experience he has, to which the man replies 'nothing'.
The advisor, noting the man is a bit simple, asks him if he has any interests/hobbies.
The man replies 'i like spiders'
The advisor goes away for a minute to speak to his supervisor. When he somes back he hands the man a matchbox and says 'inside this box is a spider, i want you to go away with it and come back in a week and tell me all you've learnt about it'
A week later the man returns.
The advisor sits him down and asks him what he's learnt.
The man takes the spider out of the box and places it on the table. He then tells the spider to move forward, which it does, and then backwards, which it does.
'Ok' the advisor asks feeling confused
The man then pulls all the legs off the spider, and again asks it to move forward, which it obviously doesnt do and backwards, which again it obviously doesnt do.
The advisor, still confused asks the man what exactly is it he has learnt.
'well' says the man 'when you pull all the spiders legs off, it goes deaf!'
2006-12-21 05:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Becci 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Three wise men go to a stable to visit a baby. One of the men is very tall and bangs his head on the door frame as he enters. Angry, he shouts "Jesus Christ!". Mary turns to Joseph and says "Quick, write that down! It's much better than Clyde!"
Oooh I have another:
An Irishman, Englishman, Scot, blonde, brunette, redhead, midget and a donkey walk in to a bar and the barman says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Merry Christmas xx
2006-12-21 05:27:44 · answer #5 · answered by ~Grace~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The "What Time Is It Eccles?" Skit on the Goon Show by Spike Milligan
2006-12-21 06:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by LJD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Illegal-Immigration Joke...(im warning you)?
So an Irish man, a Mexican, and an Californian were sitting on a chairlift. The Irish man threw his beer off the edge, half full. They asked why he did that and he replied "there's more where that came from." So the Mexican was smoking a cigar and he threw it off the edge, half lit. They asked why he did that and he replied "Theres more where that came from." So they look at the Californian and ask "What is it that you have that you have too much of?" and he pushes off the Mexican....
Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........................................
2006-12-21 05:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sunny(: 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is called "The killer Joke", it was so funny that made everyone who had actually read it laugh themselves to death. So, there is only the possibility of reading parts of the joke without suffering serious injury. I only know the start. It begins with the phrase: Saddam has mass destruction weaponry...
2006-12-21 05:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is you dear !!!! because you asked this question..
Seriously saying.. Everyone has his own taste. you cannot decide the funniest joke.
2006-12-21 05:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by atulsrivastava10 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The time I nearly **** myself going to work. Luck for me there was a pub open, so was able to use the toilet.
2006-12-25 04:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by pal6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i saw a lady walking down the road with one of her boobs hanging out. i asked her what she was doing......"sh*t. Ive left the baby on the bus"
2006-12-21 05:28:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋