End of August this year, they came out for a visit (they live in California, we live in South Carolina) They were cranky the whole time and my hubby and I ended up getting into an argument with them. This whole time I thought they were mad at both of us and ignoring both of us. Now I know they blame me. I don't really care, but it hurts and now I feel like crying. Why would they single me out for not getting a gift? It's not the gift, it's just the thought behind not getting one that hurts. What should I do? I sent them a Christmas card with a Christmas picture of the kids to be nice and still they didn't send a card they act like I don't exist anymore. :(
2006-12-21 04:49:28 · 14 answers · asked by lilmama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
SOUNDS LIKE THEY REALLY DON'T DESERVE YOUR CONSIDERATION. REMEMBER, PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT; PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU WILL HATE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO....MOVE ON.
2006-12-21 04:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Gentle Mac 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, they sound vindictive. It's as if they knew how much they would hurt you by omitting your gift. I would either tell them how you feel, perhaps a letter would be better. Sometimes, phone calls end up becoming a nightmare, or when and if you see them again, you could bring it up. Your husband should also be on your side supporting you 100%. He should let his parents know that this is not acceptable and if they continue to do this and omit you, then don't send anyone, including the children anything.
It's a hard lesson to learn, but solidarity in families is important.
Your in laws need to know that your husband and you will not tolerate this abuse on any level.
2006-12-21 05:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i ought to jokingly say that the words prevalent and mom-in-regulation at the same time as used an an adjective and noun are an oxymoron. you've a mom-in-regulation who's a self-referential man or woman. the international revolves round her because she says so. If she met your mom interior the food market, your mom would change into important for the way she dealt with the assembly. Your M-I-L's habit is both poisonous and harmless. you're a procedures sufficient away that you will see that it with somewhat bit objectivity and experience sorry for her. She wastes all her existence power attempting to be important to someone except herself. those who act the way she does experience completely insignificant and create value with the help of transforming into information efficient for the kin. superb thanks to attend to her isn't spend a second attempting to study the motives in the back of her behaviors. interior the cardboard difficulty, i will wager that she is showing non-verbal disapproval of human beings that deliver a card TO HER with no personal message. stay your lives. You get basically one and in case you spend the subsequent few many years until eventually she passes on irritating about what she approves or disapproves of, you'll finally end up on your Nineteen Sixties and your existence over! keep in mind that her philosophy of, "If I have yet one existence to stay, enable or not that's yours" would not artwork. do not bypass her beliefs on for your little ones, nor use her behaviors once you're the former ones. Have a good existence and use the blended intensity of the Christmas playing cards to prop up the wobbly leg on your textile cloth wardrobe!
2016-12-01 01:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing exactly what they want you to do....feeling bad! Now, just ignore it. They want to be nasty and blame you for something, ok. Don't grace them with your presence. Tell your hubby to stand up for you. I wound't invite them to the house again either if they can't be civil while visiting. Don't let it upset you honey. It's not worth the trouble. What would really do them in is if you just smiled and poured the "sugar" on them like it didn't make a bit of difference in the world and they didn't get to you. Have a good holiday and godloveya.
2006-12-21 05:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you keep falling at there feet and apologizing,they are going to keep making you feel guilty because then it affirms to them that you were in the wrong and not them.Which you weren't.
Remember that blood is thinker than water and that's why they are blaming you and not your husband.Trust me when i say,they knew exactly what would happen when they didn't send you a gift.I would go on with my life and my own family and let your husband have all the dealings with them from now on.But in the meantime,kill them with kindness.Keep sending them pictures of the kids etc.Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 06:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sassyface 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is terrible!! I would have a serious talk with your husband about this--and maybe he can see what is going on. Or you can confront them, if it's not too awkward. Since your husband knows them better, maybe he should be the one to try and resolve this--your are his wife and very important in the family. I am sorry this is happening to you--it's not right that they are treating you that way.
2006-12-21 04:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Sodas♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talking with your husband isn't going to fix anything between you and them.... they feel that is thier son and he does no wrong..... you are going to have to stand up for yourself and speak with these people and see what there problem is and try and work it out because you will always have to deal with them.........
Don't ignore them because that will just make it worse then it already is.... They prolly feel disrespected by the fight and want to play childish games like this..... contact them and tell them that it was the past and that you would like to have a good relationship with them so that way when they visit there is no fighting and the kids see you guys getting along with one another,,,,,
Good Luck and I hope you get this all worked out...
2006-12-21 05:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Elizabeth, above. Be a strong woman. Focus on your family and drown your in-laws with nothing but kindness. You will be a better person for it. There is an old adage that it is "better to give than to receive." Think about the fabulous lesson you will be teaching your children by your deeds!
2006-12-21 05:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by Patrick C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know i have to tell you a story.....this is so similar to your question. My moms boyfriend has this brother that hates there mom because shes a ***** and so does his wife. His mom would act out like your husbands mom (parents). One christmas his wife actually got a gift from her mom-in-law and this is what she did....She drove down her street...while she was in the car she threw the present back to her porch (broke her mail box and all!!) and said "F*** you Pat MERRY CHRISTMAS".....and skidded off in her car. You should be glad not to get a gift from those people anyway. i would'nt want anything from some one who hated me.
Two christmas's ago i got soap from my boyfriends mother that hated me ...i mean she hated me....and i got soap...
2006-12-21 05:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by Erica M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your husband about it. Tell him how you feel. Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do to make her like you. She sounds like a real "piece of work".
Don't let it ruin your Christmas and remember she is not worth your tears.
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 05:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad. Try and call them and sort it out. Tell them how you feel. Maybe they'll be open to sorting it all out. If they won't talk to you. Have you husband talk to them with you. If they still won't sort it out, have the whole family talk to them with you. Keep trying to talk to them until all has been forgiven. God bless you.
2006-12-21 04:57:26 · answer #11 · answered by dragon_girl441 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋