I need to know if I need to report this. Was what happened to me rape?

Question

I'm 18 and a freshman in college and I was a virgin until two weeks ago. I was at a house party and I was drinking (I know I know I shouldn't have been.) Anyhow this guy started making out with me and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were in a dark bedroom in the back of the house and he was on top of me. I tried to get away and struggled for a bit but he was bigger than me so I couldn't. I wanted to scream out for him to stop but I didn't. When he was inside me it hurt so much I can't even describe. When it was over I was crying and he just left the room. I feel like this scrumbag ruined my life. I was saving myself for marriage. Now all I think about is that I want to die.

I found out who he was. He's a star player on our football team. If I report this it will make the news. Maybe even national news becuase I've been told he's really, really good and a lot of people across the country know who he his.

I just don't know what to do.

Answer 1

I'll pass on your question.

But you signed up here to ask about this and chose the name boob girl?

Readers, draw your own conclusions.

Answer 2

Thats a hard one to say. 1 both of you had been drinking, 2 if you were wearing something revealing and led him on, 3 you NEVER actually said NO or STOP to him, maybe if you did, he would have. A man will think you are into it if you don't let him know. I am not saying what he did wasnt wron because it was, but as to the rape part, you can try but it may not lead anywhere. But all I can say is try to be more careful in the future and don't let yourself bu lured into dark bedrooms, because college guys are all about the sex. What did you think you were going to do in there anyway?

Answer 3

NO MEANS "NO" The fact that you were pushing him away and trying to stop him is rape! You are a survivor, but you also have a responsibility to report this sicko to the proper authorities in order to protect his next victim. People like him are sick, and they don't stop this type of behavior unless they are held responsible for their actions. It is proven that rapist become more and more aggressive as they progress in their sickness, and he will only continue this behavior if he allowed to do so.
You, on the other hand, need to know that your pain is very real, and you will need help and support as you embark on this action. If you stand up for your rights and hold him responsible, you will heal much quicker. If you decide not to seek help, and you continue without it, you will feel like a victim, and when he does this to another woman, and he will, you will always wonder if you might have prevented it. Don't try to do it alone! Please call your local rape crisis center and let them know what has happened. They will not only be a wonderful means of information, but they will be the best support system you can get.
You can use this as an opportunity to grow, and you can be a better person for doing "the next right thing."
"To thine own self be true"

Answer 4

Usually for something to be rape at some point in time the word NO has to be used. I gather by your story either you were to afraid to say it or to drunk to. Sometimes in life we make bad decisions and as a result we have to live with the consequences. This sounds like one of those times. I am not saying that your feelings don't matter but you to have to take some responsibility for your actions or lack thereof. And don't lie to make him pay because you feel bad. Life is not kind to those that ruin others lives by not telling the truth. The truth is you didn't say no or stop. at least then even if he denied it you would be telling the truth.
What happened is what happens when you do things you are not suppose to. You open the door for bad things to happen. Consider it a lesson learned at a very cheap price. You are alive aren't you and you will survive this and more. Oh, and stop with the scumbag, and name calling because if he is that what does that make you. You are not innocent in this....you to have your cross to bare.

Good Luck and sorry that you lost a very precious gift.

Answer 5

Don't report him! Not to protect the guy but to protect yourself. Especially if you're not sure you gave a clear signal that you wanted him to stop. The victim is always put on trial as guilty until proven innocent in these cases. It's really unfortunate this happened to you. Go get some support from a pastor, a counselor, a family member, or a support group. Work through your feelings, and then promise yourself you will never be a victim again.

God bless.

Answer 6

yes...report it...if you don't than it will eat you away inside forever...or at least tell someone. That same thing happened to one of my best friends. It actually happened to her twice. I read a book about that very same situation accept it was about a girl in high school....i wish i could remember the name of it....That happens soo often at college, its not even funny! The fraturnity that my sister used to party @ got shut down for date rape. One of her friends woke up in the attic one morning with no clothes on and didnt know how she got there.
Tell...if not for you do it for all the woman that he will do it to in the futur if you don't stop him.....you could save other girls like you before it happens.

3 outta five i'd say girls i know personally have been raped.
i got raped by a boyfriend i had for 2 years and i never thought it was rape because i was letting him do it, but if someone knows full well that you don't want to have sex with them and you cry, its rape. And it doesn't matter what the world believes, its not the world that if affects, its you.

Answer 7

It is considered rape if you didn't want it to happen and if you were drunk. If you report it, you could prevent the same thing from happening to another girl. Your campus may have a rape crisis phone number that you can call anonymously to talk about your options. If that doesn't work, try the campus police. You don't have to file an official complaint, but it's important at this point to get tested for STD's and pregnancy and to at least know your legal rights.

Answer 8

if you told him to stop and he didn't, no matter how far you went willingliy, it is rape. no mean no and there's no if and or buts about it. talk to a counselor or someone you trust and it you want to pursue it then do so. to hell with his athletic status. a rapist is a rapist. he had to of know you wanted to stop and he didn't. he did it to you and he may have done it to someone else. hell, he may even do it again and there are lawsd against that. don't be silent about this. for your sake and others. and from now on, whenever you drink, if you have to drink, be responsible. not saying it's your fault but you want to have a clear mind and you want to be in as much control of your environment that you can. get tested for any stds and a pregnancy test, even if he used a condom, to be on the safe side. talk to a counselor or a parent. even a close friend. don't keep this inside. i'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 9

REPORT THE GUY!!
you may not be this guys only victim, by saying nothing he will get away with it. if you report him other people who he has assaulted will take courage from you, and report him also.
if nobody says anything he could go on to commit even worse acts on other women.
don't allow him to ruin any more women's lives.
you will also receive help/advise on dealing with what has happened.
at the very least you should talk to someone who can advise you further..

Answer 10

REPORT IT
Don't worry about his life. (football) Think about saving yours.
But more then just reporting it. Go and talk to some one about it. Get the help that you are needing.
You need to know that you are not alone.

Answer 11

You could report it, but they will make you out to be a bad person and put all your mistake against you. Nothing will happen to him. I am sorry.

You should really go to counseling. Something like this happen to me, it does ruin your life. The first time should be speical and he ruin that for you. You should ruin something for him. Don't become like a stalker or something....but do something bad to him and don't tell ANYBODY you did it.

Ruin his Life.

Others who read this....

Rape victims experience a broad range of powerful emotions--a friend or family member can help by allowing her to express these feelings. You can help by listening and validating her fears and feelings; by helping her make changes to her environment that make her feel safer. Rape victims often feel unsure of themselves and their ability to make decisions. Encourage her if she finds it difficult to make decisions by helping her to understand her choices, but let the decisions be her own.

Remind her that the rape was not her fault. Advocate for her when she needs your help facing the medical and legal systems. Let her know that you believe in her, and that you know that she has the strength and courage to heal and survive.