My mother's boyfriend hit on me and I don't know if I should tell my mom.?

Question

My mother is dating and living with a man named, let's say Dave. Well, Dave has told me on numerous occations that he is not a one woman man, though he has yet to cheat on my mother, and last week he admitted to me that he's attracted to me and would like to have sex with me. I am married, which he knows, but that did not stop him from coming on to me. Well two days ago he asked me for my underwear so he can "get just one taste". I am appalled and discusted. I told my husband and we can not decide what to do about this. They both are supposed to come over for Christmas in three days. I don't really want him in our home and neither does my husband but he would let him if that's what I wanted. Should I tell my mother? Or should we just tell Dave that after Christmas he is never to come by or speak to me again? I need help.
My mom has been divorced twice, is very dependant on men, is about to quit her job because Dave makes enough money to pay rent. She probably will not be abl

Answer 1

1. Tell your mother immediately NOT TO QUIT HER JOB.
2. Tell her all about Dave
3. Call Dave and tell him how happy you are that he and your mother are coming over Christmas Day.
4. Tell him you will give him your panties then
5. Tell him you are also happy that you, he, your husband and your mother will all be there to discuss the details of when, how often, and where he will be able to share you and your mother and that you need to discuss whether he is capable of taking care of 2 women constantly.
6. Tell Dave your husband has some ideas to share also.

Answer 2

DEFINITELY tell your mother right now. This should have happened when the loser hit on you and made those sick comments. Think of it this way: if you act like this whole thing happened, this jerk will continue to harrass you (and who knows how many other women-obviously he has no morals because he is saying these things to you) and if he can't wear you down then he will keep doing this until someone responds, then he will definitely cheat on your mom and she will end up with a broken heart (or worse, possibly a disease) from this man. And you will have known all along that he was a creep, and you could possibly prevent all this from happening. Ask your mom if you and your husband can speak to her in private and tell her very matter-of-factly what happened, exactly what was said, and when it happened. Then she needs to decide on her own what to do. If she decides to stay with him after that, then she is making her own bad decisions and you can't help that, but you dont have to support it. Then at least she will understand why the man is not welcome in your home. TELL HER TODAY.

Answer 3

You do need to talk to your mother about this. If he hit you once and wants to get into your pants, he'll do it again. If he has admitted to you that he is not a one woman man and has not told your mother about this, she does have the right to know this. I would seriously think about it if this is the kind of person you would want in your home over Christmas and probably causing some problems in your family. If you and your husband do not want your mothers boyfriend in your home, you have that right and should stand by it. Explain this to your mother and that she is invited but he is not.

I really think that you should have a heart to heart talk with your mother about her desicions. Tell her what you see thru your eyes and that maybe in your opinion she is not making the right desicions. Just remember, your mother is a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but you may not agree with what she is doing. Tell her she doesn't need to be dependent on men and CAN make it on her own. If she quits her job, he has her by the chains, because now, she also has to depend on him for money and paying the bills. She will have to ask him for money for things that she may want like new clothes or whatever the case may be. If she does this, he IS controlling how she spends money and when and how much she gets and where and how she spends it.

She doesn't need a man like this in her life and nor do you have to allow him into your home. Please tell your mother what he has done to you and tell her he is not allowed to enter your home. Stick to your guns and keep up with it. You can still have a relationship with your mother even though you do not allow her boyfriend around you.

Good luck and Merry Christmas to you!

Answer 4

your right to be concerned. this man is a dog. you should have been the last person he would hit on if he had any morals (im not saying he is okay for his actions in any way).he is going to eventually cheat on your mother whether or not it was you or someone else and if he hasnt already. i think you and your husband should confront the both of them about this, but after the holidays and considering your mothers feelings about men. hopefully you can really be there for your mom when the break up occurs so that she wont rely on men so heavily. She probably feels she has no one in her corner, your her daughter so be there for her otherwise she gonna keep falling into these type relationships. get that guy away from your mother please!

Answer 5

This guy sounds real messed up. Sorry that you have to deal with it.
He sounds frighteningly like someone I know who has/does the same thing.
Tell your mom if you feel it's the right thing to do. But, don't expect her to react in a way you determine to be "right". She may get angry and call you a liar out of defense or she may listen to what you say but not take any action. If she is male depndent, she probably not going to react in a logical manner (which would be kicking his a** to the curb).
I support you in telling him to stop because he is way over the line. Obviously, no one has set boundries with him before. Be prepared to hand him an ultimatum as well for breaking the ground rules you set for yourself.
This guy sounds like a borderline preadator. He obviously has you mother read and knowes she is man dependent. That's her decision though. Do what you need to do to protect yourself gf.

Answer 6

I would tell your mother a.s.a.p what he has said to you and how it makes you feel.

No woman should ever be dependant on a man. But that is her issue to work out. She also needs to know that her man is a cheater and a dog!

Are you afraid of how she will react toward you if you tell her the truth?

You need to know that it's ok to tell her the truth even if it will hurt her now. In the long run it's better then she knows so she can make her own mistakes and you don't have to feel responsible for her life.

Answer 7

Tell Dave (not your mom) that he needs to make a speedy exit on his own before you tell your mom and before your husband takes it out of his hide and it all hits the fan.
I admit the timing of this sucks, with Christmas and all. But it's not your fault. You didn't create this situation.
If you want to keep them out of your house for Christmas, just tell them everyone at your house has the flu and they can't come over after all. Then right after Christmas, give him the ultimatum. You know your mom might blame you over this or get mad at you, but you can't let her quit her job and then be stuck with this idiot.

Answer 8

Come on....as hard as it is you know that the right thing to do is to telll your mom. She's less likely to believe you if you wait until after the holidays, and it will give him an opportunity to manipulate her further. So tell her during a private conversation (outside his presence) and let the chips fall where they may. You didn't create the situation and you're not responsible for his behavior. But you can't just remain silent and watch things unfold.

Answer 9

First off,tell your Husband!Let your Husband be the man to confront Dave.Then you tell your Dave he better respect not only you,but your Mother!! Mother doesn't have to know,it will only upset her.So you take care of the pervert and tell him you have no intention on giving him a piece of your goods, so move the fu#! on!!

Answer 10

TELL YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS TO COME AND GO! You should of told your mother the first time he made a pass at you! Forget the money, your mother will find another man, and hopefully the next one will not be A CREEP!