and my dad still tries to rule me and i am married have a great family i cant stand it no more-i have gave and gave and i have just about had it!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-21 03:39:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just remember this: The reason GOD gave us our friends is... to make up for our Family !!!!!!!
2006-12-21 03:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by hefnergang 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think about your question and I don't think it's unusual for a child to remain a "child" to the parents. However, your Dad isn't going to change at his age, but he can modify his behavior. I would say, pull back a little. Then when you feel the time is right, sit down with Dad and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him you have to take care of yourself so you will be able to help him out when you have time.
I'm not just spewing this advice. I'm going through a similar situation with two elderly, ailing parents. But I do set boundaries. I don't respond to negative behavior. I let my Dad know when he upsets me and I give him alot of love and affection when I'm with him. He wasn't the best dad in the world when I was a kid; but who is perfect? I've decided I would enjoy my relationship with my folks while I still have them without driving myself crazy. So far, it's working well.
Godblessya for caring about your father.....he is what he is. I really appreciated your question also. It will be helpful to others. Blessed holidays.
2006-12-21 12:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it can be so annoying my father in law wants us to move right across the street from my grandma that way she can report to him every thing we do, but right now it don't bother me me and my mom were really close but i always wanted my freedom and never wanted to listen to her even at 21 -22 yr old i still wanted to do it my way and 6 months ago she passed away she was recovering from surgery (they removed a brain tumor) and we didn't even know what would happen she was doing great getting her memory back every thing and then she had a heart attack and that's what killed her, She was only 53 so my thing to you is they might get on your nerves but love them while they are here let them know you care and tell them sorry for all the grief you caused them when you were younger cause you might not get the chance.
Happy Holidays and have a great New Years
2006-12-21 11:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it is a learned behavior. The both of you are doing a dance. You seek his approval and he tells you how to do it HIS WAY. This makes you mad. It did me too until I learned to do something different.
You will not be very effective at changing his behavior ...only your own. Do not bring up subjects that require him to put in his opinion. If you must, make it known to him after the decision was made and you did whatever you wanted to do. If he starts with "Well if it were me...." just stop him right in his tracks and say with a smile... "Oh Dad it is already resolved and I feel proud I did it on my own...but thank you anyway"
Quit trying to seek his approval. It didn't work when you were a child and it is not going to work now. Your father loves you and you love him... but he is critical because one or both of his parents was to him. Unless you change your approach, nothing will change.
2006-12-21 15:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just accept the fact that that's just the way they are. Its not gonna change.Its like a game. You just play the game and make them feel important and helpful. You love them, and accept them and respect them for who they are.As they get older, it tends to get a little worse. But, someday they wont be here and you really want to make the most of everyday they are.
2006-12-21 12:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats how dads are, they never want to see their baby girl grow up. My dad was that way and I miss him everyday. Be happy he is still here.
2006-12-21 13:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its better to get along with them, than without them at all!
2006-12-21 12:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you will miss them more and appreciate them far more once they pass away. Try and be understanding now.
2006-12-21 11:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋