My boyfriend left me after 6 months together. In that time I thought we were happy and he never said otherwise. Now I find out (from his ex-girlfriend) that he cheated on me twice with her during our relationship.
I also found out she is a Dominatrix and he is a submissive and thats how they met 8 years ago!!!
Her ex emailed me to tell me all the disgusting things they did together and he denied it and I believed him!!!!
Then she called me and told me it was all true and I still believed him!!
Then finally he confessed when I asked him again to his face.
I am more upset about him constantly lying to me than about the cheating. I feel humilated and betrayed.
What can I do now to move on, I still love him!
2006-12-21 03:36:09 · 18 answers · asked by imalandamcuteasabutton 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said he did it because he'd been having some doubts about the relationship - but he spoke to me about them!!
Also he said he doesn't know what he wants and he is confused...and wants a clean break.
Yet since Thursday when we decided to call it a day, we've been talking on the phone and texting. He wants to meet tomorrow for dinner and to give me my xmas present.
I'm so confused!
2006-12-21 03:38:35 · update #1
You are a silly and simple girl.
The snake, which has bitten you must be left but you still wants to take care of that.
He is a snake.
Don't be bitten again.
Don't behave like idiots. Be logical.
If you still think to go to him again, it will be your mistake.
then you should have courage to face the consequences and ready to become a toy in others' hands.
2006-12-21 04:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by Atif Mirza 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he cheated on you twice (in just six months!) and then dumped you. He lied to you and left you feeling humiliated and betrayed. His fetishes are so strong that he paid a dominatrix to carry out his fantasies on him. You find his fetishes 'disgusting.'
With all that in mind, I don't really see how you have any kind of future together. By agreeing to have dinner with him, texting him, and talking with him, all you are doing is making things harder for yourself.
No one wants to be single at this time of year, but I really think you need to accept that. Why would you want to stay with someone who has treated you this way and made you feel so bad? There are plenty of nice guys out there that are not going to lie and cheat.
2006-12-21 11:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you think you love the guy, if you want to move on quit telling him that you care. It may take awhile for your feelings to change, but if you truly value yourself you will understand that it is not wise to remain with someone that you cannot trust. There is nothing that could happen at this point that would change the fact that he cannot be trusted and be faithful to you. I hope you realize that you deserve to be treated well and will move on. Just b/c you feel a certain way, doesn't mean that you can't control your behavior. Eventually, this bad memory will fade and you'll find someone trustworthy. That is, if you don't remain in limbo waiting for a miraculous change in this guy.
2006-12-21 11:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be a hard thing to do because you love him and that will not go away soon. Try to put your mind on other things and do not let it dwell on him. You have been humiliated and betrayed. I have been there also. That man does not deserve your love or loyalty, just keep telling yourself that. You deserve so much better treatment than that.
For the person who asked if that man cheated on me because of sex not being good. No that was not the case, the sex was great. And to update - the man who cheated on me desperately wants me back now. NO WAY!!!
2006-12-21 11:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Nicki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest staying single for a while... a few months at least...
i've seen it so many times that when some one get's hurt in a break up, they go right into a new relationship with exacly the same kind of person, and just keeps getting hurt over and over and they don't understand why.
stay single for a while... that'll help... focus on yourself, what you want, and need... get to know yourself as just yourself again. not untill all of this is done would i feel comfortable going into a new relationship...
2006-12-21 11:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didnt deserve you girl!! He sounds like a coward that is some what confused himself...As much as it may hurt, just leave it in God hands, and pray for the best..
You may not even want him to come back to you, knowing that he is capiable of doing some bullshyt like this, it may not be worth the pressure...Good Luck!!
2006-12-21 11:41:43 · answer #6 · answered by Simple1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, let me break it down for ya. If he constantly lied to you, and cheated on you then he had zero respect for you. As painful as it is to lose someone that you love, you need to get over him. As for how, remind yourself how he treated you, how little respect he had for you, that he lied, that he presented himself to be something he isn't. Also, he is an A$S, remind yourself of that and that you deserve much better. In time, you will get over him. And get out there and date, casually date, make friends and enjoy life. Good Luck.
2006-12-21 11:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by Tainted Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is very common. I was in a club then a girl come with me, after we had sex, she showed her boyfriend photo to me! I became shocked! Same as other girls that after I objected her for 'cheating, she told me: "I don't care, as soon as I find a better guy i would kick his a s s."
Don't listen to his gf. They want to make you mad.
Don't communicate with them;
Just find a "Better One!" send me email I will tell you how!?
2006-12-21 11:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by Iranian Amigo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up high and push him away unless you want to get cheated again by this same man !
2006-12-21 11:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by burr burr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a freak and if you're not into the whole S & M thing, he'll probably cheat again to satisfy his fetish. Leave him alone.
2006-12-21 11:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by femcee2005 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋