My parents have been divorced for many years, but still treats me sister and I very badly. I am 20 and my sister is 13, the holidays are always very hard because he always acts like nothing is wrong, and that we are all one big happy family..Well, we are NOT...How can I be considerate over the holidays without losing my cool? thanks so much
2006-12-21 03:34:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
WELL TINK I AM GOING THRU THE SAME THING MY MOM DIED OF A BRAIN TUMOR WHEN I WAS A BABY HE REMARRIED AND HE PUTS HER 1ST ALL THE TIME SHE ALWAYS LIES AND RUNS BACK TO HIM WITH GARBAGE THATS UNTRUE AND HE GETS MAD AND THEY HAD A CHILD AFTER THEY MARRIED AND SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE EVERYTHING I REALLY GET TIRED OF IT THIS YEAR I FINALLY EXPLODED AND LOST MY COOL I LET HIM KNOW HOW TUFF HE WAS GROWING UP AND ALL THE TRASH HE HAS PUT ME THROUGH -HE DID HIS SHARE OF RUNNING AROUND WITH OTHER WOMEN WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT TOO AND HOW WELL I REMEMBERED ALL THAT AND I WAS JUST LITTLE WELL IM 47 A GRANDMA AND FINALLY TOLD HIM HOW I FEEL I COULDN'T HOLD IT NO MORE GOD BLESS GOOD LUCK SANDY
2006-12-21 04:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is sad that, for whatever reason people use the Christmas season as a reason to pressure themselves into "artificial forgiveness and family harmony". It is a holiday when we all wish for peace, yet if the peace isn't real and can't last the whole year, it's artificial.
I am 42, my fahter 73. He's been a jerk his whole life. He is an alcoholic and, without saying, in serious denial about how he has always treated his family. In his mind, he is a saint who has done everything and we have never appreciated it and been greatful. Shame on us, or so he thinks.
I haven't for, many years, gone out of my way for him, especially not during the holidays. He has made the mess and caused the problems for himself and I refuse to make him feel better just to be subjected to his crap throughout the rest of the year. I will be cordial and polite, but I don't go out of my way for him. If he is lonely it's a situation he created for himself by treating us all like garbage.
Try not to play into the "one big happy family" delusion he has. Try to focus in on your sister who has to still live under his roof and put up with him more. Try and help her understand that your dad is a not so nice person and that it isn't something she's causing to happen. Kids tend to take responsibility for the things their parents do. Let her know she's not responsible for the way he behaves. This is a gift that will last a lifetime.
Gods speed to you both.
2006-12-21 13:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by scorpio1913 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Define badly..... Do you live with him or your mom? If with him, you are old enough to get out. If it's just a matter of having to put up with the jerk for the holidays, I wouldn't waste my time being nice. Give him a taste of his own medicine. He only wants to "ACT" like a dad on holidays. Why is your mom having holidays with a jerk that treated her badly enough to divorce and then treats the kids like crap all these years. Talk to your mom about this situation. If you can talk to the idiot dad at all explain that he needs to learn to treat you and your sister with respect ALL yr, not act like a dog and then expect you to forget all that and be nice for one day. It DON'T work like that man.
2006-12-21 11:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by Deb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he's trying to act in a happy, positive manor. Hummm, maybe he's trying to make things as pleasant as possible under the circumstances.
Would you prefer he acted in a negative way? What way do you want him to act? Have you told him what you expect or do you want him to read your mind?
Just curious.
2006-12-21 11:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he thinks and says their is nothing wrong then maybe you should consider it because then you'll be thinking about it every day of your life,....and especially over the holidays.... just take him out somewhere that will take yourself and his mind off a couple of things.... trust me it will work....
2006-12-21 11:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by nena_is_da_best 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a sad thing that your parents live behind closed doors but there isnt anything u can do they have to see it for themselves i have a mother like it.Just have fun try to enjoy yourself.
2006-12-21 17:53:07 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just accept the fact that your father will never change and go from there. Or you can still let him bother you and it will ruin Christmas
2006-12-21 11:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋