Do PUNISHMENT in any form could be beneficial for CHILDREN?

Question

If you agree then kindly tell me what kind of punishment you charge upon your children and did the punishment serve the purpose?

Answer 1

YES. Punishment is not only beneficial, it is biblical. The problem is, most parents tend to react out of anger, instead of actually dealing with the problem at hand. Before we can punish our children, we have to discipline them. Contrary to popular belief, discipline means to "TEACH"....we have to teach our children the difference between right and wrong, and we have to teach them that there are consequences to their behavior - good or bad. Unconditional love and positive reinforcement is the key. Negative reinforcement leads to low self esteem and feelings of being unloved or "not good enough". We cannot punish our children for something if we haven't taught them it is wrong - and we need to keep in mind that our children learn most by OUR example! They're going to do & say what they see & hear from us! When my children were growing up, I received many compliments on their good manners / good behavior whether they were with me or not. I knew they would be on their best behavior when they were visiting relatives or at a friend's house, because I had taught them about acceptable behavior. This is being repeated with my granddaughter. The punishment has to fit the crime. For example, my daughter is not always observant of her 2 year old daughter's behavior while I am at work. I have come home to find pen marks on my refrigerator. I simply take my granddaughter's hand, we walk to the refrigerator (with a damp cloth) and I tell her "You are not supposed to write on Nana's refrigerator. Since you wrote on it, you get to clean it up." I have also found "time-outs" to be quite effective. One minute for each year of age. Spanking is an absolute last resort or reserved for life threatening situations. (Breaking free from holding hands & running off, possibly into traffic....that sort of thing.) It should NEVER be done in anger...that could lead to abuse. Children need to be punished in such a way that they understand that the behavior is unacceptable, but they are still loved. Mercy & grace!

Answer 2

It depends on what the punishment is. But yes, it can be beneficial. A time-out is a form of punishment, as it serves to put a stop to a behavior.

I started using time-out on my son at about 19 months old when he started hitting. When he hits me or the dogs with a toy, I grab the toy away from him and tell him it is nice to hit. I then walk him to a corner wall and make him stand there for a minute. After a minute, I collect him and I go down to his level and tell him that he got a time-out for hitting. I then tell him to say sorry.

It serves it's purpose very well, especially since I've been doing it consistently.

Answer 3

When I was a young boy I was occasionally bad behaved and in return got a good smack.
When I got to eleven/twelve I became really bad behaved and so got a severe smacking (not a beating as some of these do-gooders would say)(saying this I am grateful for getting a smack)
I am now in my late thirties and as I am today I do not think getting a smack harms in any way.
If it was not for me getting the smack I would of been running riot all over the place. The law today needs 'to get in the real world' If a child misbehaves they should get punished with a smack and not a telling off.
I have seen what school classrooms are like today. Pupils are cheeky and unruly and have no respect for their teachers. It was never like that when I was at school.
If I did I got a smack.
And that is what the world is lacking these days.

Answer 4

Yes punishment is beneficial for children. Years ago we didnt have the social problems we have today as children had respect for their elders. Now because everyone is scared of being sued and having their children taken off them there is no respect and the children know they can get away with anything. All they have to do is cry abuse.

I have 2 children and if they misbehave they get punished. Depending on what they have done depends on the punishment. From making them go to bed early, having their pocket money stopped to a smack on the back of the legs. Its called discipline.
My children are polite and courteous to all and expect the same back.

Answer 5

Of course punishment is important! How else are you going to teach your child that there are consquences for bad actions? There is a definate lack of discipline and punishment in the UK and that is why the thugs and hooligans literally get away with murder.
It all depends upon the childs age .... as a toddler the word NO quite firmly should have an affect ... and as they get older they get priviledges taken away! ie .. no pocket money, grounded for the weekend .... but if discipline is installed at a young age, and continued, your child will have respect and listen!! My kids have reached their teens now and they listen!!

Answer 6

I prefer the term "discipline", since in its truest form, it means to teach. I use "punishment" (as you call it) to try to modify their behavior and teach them the right way to behave.

First, you should know that all kids aren't the same, and they don't respond to the same discipline, or punishment. I have two little boys. My older son (he's 5) understands and is impacted by the idea of cause-and-effect, so he gets a lot of lost priviledges for things like not minding, talking back, being mean to his brother, or getting a blue apple on the behavior chart at school (green apples are good behavior, yellow is so-so, blue is trouble, red is a parent-teacher conference). He works his little tail off to get green apples because he knows that not only will he not get in trouble, he'll get rewarded.

My 3-year-old is much more willful and curious and willing to take the punishment if he feels like it's worth it. It's like there's actually a thought process there when he thinks "I know I'll spend time in the corner for this, but I just have to open eight Christmas gifts this morning before Momma and Daddy wake up." That is proof to me that the time-out choices aren't that effective, since it doesn't modify his behavior. He does, however, avoid doing things that he knows will land him a spanking, so spanking is about the most effective way to get him to do what he's supposed to do and not do what he's not allowed to do. As he gets older and is able to understand cause-and-effect a little better, we'll use that more and eventually get away from the spankings. He does still get rewarded for good behavior.

However, my husband and I are careful to give him extra love and praise when he does behave, particularly since he gets more spankings than his brother. We are also careful not to spank purely out of anger, we don't lift him up by the arm to spank him, and we talk to him on his level afterwards about how he can avoid future spankings.

No one "punishment" or form of discipline is right for every child or every situation. I think that most reasonable punishments are acceptable, as long as they are used in a levelheaded way and your child knows that you love him, even with all his flaws, but want him to grow up to be the best man he can be.

Answer 7

If you don't punish your kids, everyone will hate them when they grow up. I'm not saying this to be mean or anything, but if you don't punish your children, they will grow up thinking that they can do whatever they want, and it's ok.

When you punish your kids, it's telling them ''this isnt' acceptable behavior''. It says in the bible, that you're supposed to spank your children. You don't have to beat them, or anything. But you need to give them a tap strong enough for them to feel it, and tell them what they're doing wrong, and why it's wrong. Children needs limits and borders. When you punish your kids, it's setting those limits, and putting up the walls of boundaries.

If they don't have limits, then they will walk all over you, and grow up to not respect you, or anyone for that matter. They won't respect the rules/laws, they won't respect peoples things, theirs and others, and they'll wind up in jail. Proven statistic: alot of people who are in jail weren't punished as often as others when they were children. The prisoners have stated that if they were punished for doing this or that as a child, they probly wouldn't be in jail right now, because what they did to get put in prison, is the same thing they used to do, do to other people, or animals.

Where you punished as a child when you needed it?

What the hell is wrong with people these days??? I agree with a previous answer!! People are so afraid of society, with threats of taking children away if you tap them on the butt, or smack their hands. I can totally understand if your punching your kid, not playfully, or kicking them, or whatever! Don't be afraid to spank your kids!! I spank mine, alot of the times in the middle of the store, so everyone can see. I don't "HIT" my kids. I never have, and I never will!!! Hitting is abuse, spanking is punishing. If anyone was a good christian, they would see that spanking is beneficial to children. It works with some, and nto al all with others.

My 2 yo cant' be punished. We spank him,talk to him, yell at him, put him in the corner, take stuff away, and nothing seems to work. It's hard to control your anger when you're at the end of your rope, but like I was told before, remove yourself from the anger as quickly as possible, that way you won't be hitting your kids!

Answer 8

I know that Corporal punishment (hitting) is the absolutely wrong way to go. They will carry the resentment and humiliation forever and learn nothing but fear and hatred.

Talking and explaining why you are upset is the best way. Sometimes a time out to think about the situation might help.

Of course, limits must be set. If they don't listen, tighten the limits for a while.

Answer 9

I think it is. My parents spanked me growing up, until I reatched a certin age. My parents didn't only just spank me, they would talk to me about what i did, and why it was the wrong thing. They would tell me why i had to be punished, and ask me if i understood why is was wrong and why they spanked me.

Don't get me wrong. Spanking and beating are TWO different things. My Dad said he talked to us, so he could cool down before spanking us (my sister and I).

Now when i got to the age of 12-15 they didn't spank me, but would take things away. Trips shopping, time with friends, computer, tv. But every child is different.

My parents would punish my sister by taking away the TV for a week. She didn't care because she likes reading. (I don't like reading, so taking away the tv would work)

I am not a parent, yet, and i haven't read all the books about parenting...but i know what the Bible says, "spare the rod, spoil the child". Hope this helps!!!

Answer 10

ok im 17 and when i was younger i was punished when i done something wrong and a tap on the bottom was a good way of punishmentin the end i have turned out okay and i look back and think i deserved that, thats what made me a good person because i was loved and i knew that what i did was wrong and when i have children i would like to tap my child on the bum because i think thats one of the things that make you a good parent not going over the top and whipping them but to show how wrong it is instead of shouting at them