My daughter is 20 and just moved back home. She has since had her lip pierced and her hair dyed and cut short to where she is wearing a mohawk. Which this style is the complete opposite of everything she has ever done. She done this on a day that we were arguing and she came back home with this look. I feel like all she does is try to push my buttons. Help me out PLEASE!
2006-12-21 03:00:46 · 10 answers · asked by Ann N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She's 20 and free to make such choices. It might not be your preference, but it's not the end of the world. She might be a little rebellious, but she also may be trying to find out where she "fits" in life or have a problem with low self-esteem. I have a 21 year old daughter who left for college after she graduated high school, flunked out her first quarter and came home pregnant. I love my 2 year old granddaughter dearly - she is the joy of my life. I honestly could not imagine not being able to go home from work and spend time with her every night! I love my daughter too, but she is emotionally immature, will NOT get a job (she recently started going to college part time again, but not on MY dime!) and she is still not ready to be a responsible mother. If changing her appearance is the worst your daughter has done, count your blessings! Continue to show her love, and pray for God to give you grace while she finds her way...you're going to need it!
2006-12-21 03:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, your daughter is 20 years old...she is an adult. Let her do as she pleases. Since she is leaving with you, just give her basic rules that you find are not negotiable - for example, do not have sex in the house, do not do drugs ... etc etc. Just the basic rules that will be enough for you to throw her out. But don't rule her on how she treats her body though.
If she really is doing things to push your button, then it's better not to let her know that she IS pushing your buttons. Let things go.. don't react. If she sees that things are n't affecting you like she hopes to, then what is there reason for her to possibly keep doing what she's doing?
If she is NOT doing these things to push your button, then just let her be. Again, she's an adult. Pick your battles.
2006-12-21 12:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.izabel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughters are 19 & 22. We haven't experienced anything like that before but they haven't moved back in with us either. They are both in college and living in apartments away from home.
My thought is that she is trying to show her individuality and is probably frustrated because she is old enough to be on her own, but is not (for whatever reason)
I'd give her some time and don't make a big deal about it. She'll just resent you if you do.
2006-12-21 11:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she's 20, that legally makes her an adult, so... That's a tough one. My oldest is only 12 so I'm not there yet. Does "my house, my rules" still apply to a 20 year old? Maybe charging rent? Or just grin and bear it and hope it will pass? Tough one.
2006-12-21 11:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by Bestie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her be with what she wants..The more you care and be stricter with her,the more unbelievable actions she will do..I have a friend like your daughter..She said she do this just to proof to her mum that she doesnt have the right to control her life at the age of 20..But end up my friend lose to her mum as her mum no longer care for her,no pocket money for her and she doesnt regard her as her daughter..Dont worry,she will come back to you when she has no one to turn to for help and realised that she has chosen the wrong friends.
2006-12-21 11:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by irah_miti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personal opinion from the child point of view. i am 19 and have been living on my own for almost 2 years. if i ever had to move back in w/ my parents i know that i would have to go back to their rules. you have to make her understand that she is living under your roof again and you wouldnt have let her get by w/ this when she lived there before so things now arent any different. if she does not agree to respect your wishes i would not agree to let her live in my home.
2006-12-21 13:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by hhudson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since its your home and you are letting her stay there, she should obey the rules, she is old enought to know, and talk to her and tell her how you feel. tell her you don't care what she looks like but to do it because you had a fight. is childish. maybe if you ignore the way she looks, and whatever she does, maybe she will go back looking normal. she did that just to annoy you. but turn it around don't let her see that shes doing a good job on doing just that.
2006-12-21 11:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 20. Tell her she needs to find her own place. Give her a set amount of time to save her money, find a roommate, etc., then give her the boot. You don't need to put up with her childish crap.
2006-12-21 11:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's old enough to decide for herself how to look. If you don't want her in your home looking like that tell her she needs to change it or move. And stick to it.
2006-12-21 11:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by tabithap 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's doing it to feel independent and express herself. Relax, it's just hair, and piercings can be removed. If you overreact, you'll just fuel the fire.
2006-12-21 11:07:15 · answer #10 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋