I'm 18 and a freshman in college and I was a virgin until two weeks ago. I was at a house party and I was drinking (I know I know I shouldn't have been.) Anyhow this guy started making out with me and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were in a dark bedroom in the back of the house and he was on top of me. I tried to get away and struggled for a bit but he was bigger than me so I couldn't. I wanted to scream out for him to stop but I didn't. When he was inside me it hurt so much I can't even describe. When it was over I was crying and he just left the room. I feel like this scrumbag ruined my life. I was saving myself for marriage. Now all I think about is that I want to die. I found out who he was and I know his name now. Should I report this as a rape?
2006-12-21 02:56:59 · 30 answers · asked by boob girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! i'm so srry for you hon. i was a victim of rape. an didn't report it. i've regretted it everyday since
2006-12-21 03:00:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should. You should have done it imediatley so they could do a rape kit on you. Just like you said he is a scumbag so don't let him ruin your life. You can still save yourself for marriage. What you experienced isn't sex or making love. What you do with your future husband will be a totally different experience. Just hang in there and talk to a counsler if you need to. I would definetly report him though. He will continue to do it until someone speaks up.
2006-12-21 11:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ask Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dean of women at your college would be quick to follow up on a report like this, so I suggest you start there. Tell her exactly what happened, and realize that we all do dumb things to put ourselves in danger. However, he was not justified in sexually assaulting you whether or not you were at his house and was drinking. You need a medical exam as well and to be checked for STD's. I think you could be in danger of this guy harrassing or attacking you again if you stay silent. A predator like him needs to be stopped. You also may want to seek out counseling resources on campus and the dean of women can assist you with that. It's natural for victims of sexual assault to blame themselves and feel guilty--although it is not their fault. You cannot let him conquer you and make you feel like your life is 'ruined' b/c it's not. Talk to the authorities (police dept. or at your school) and if you decide not to do that at least talk to your parents about what happened. You cannot let the wrong that has been done to you affect your future--you're much too impt. to let that happen. Stay safe.
2006-12-21 11:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, how the alcohol and buzz just dissolve our inhibitions, then when we are sober and the buzz is gone - WOW !! I did something I didn't want to do and now I gotta find SOMEONE ELSE to blame.
APPARENTLY, you didn't want to scream nor tell him to stop - OTHERWISE you would have done so.
The fact is ladies, men are out to get into your panties no matter how they do it, and when you choose to put yourselves in less-than-ideal situations, and "one thing leads to another and before you know it you are in a dark bedroom in the back of the house and he is on top of you" - That's a helluva time to decide NOT to scream and NOT to say "NO".
Please see your counselor and explain what happened, and seek continuing counsel from your pastor or other professional. You do need to resolve this - but we all make mistakes, and just blaming others doesn't help us grow much as human beings.
GOOD LUCK
2006-12-21 11:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nope not rape because you didnt say no,you didnt try hard enough to avoid it, and you did not yell for help, and you have no evidence (unless you didnt wash the undergarmnts yet) you sort of let this happen to yourself. You put yourself in a situation that you should not have been in. You admitted you didnt yell for help "because you didnt want to" and now you are regreting a drunken mistake. Suck it up and move on we all make mistakes no use trying to ruin another persons life because you ruin a tiny part of your own. I say learn from your mistakes teach other younger girls what not to do and know your helping the future.
2006-12-21 12:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by LT. DAN 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all I want to say I am so sorry that this happened to you and that it is unfortunate that some men out there still do this to women. I would definitely report this as I believe that it is a serious crime and if you don't report this man he may do this to other women.
2006-12-21 11:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by Linds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should. Don't wait any longer. You need counselling and that bastard needs to be stopped. Too bad you waited so long, he might not be charged, but he'll get the fear of God put in him at least and you'll get the help you need. Go to your school's rape crisis center.
2006-12-21 11:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by Crash 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES YES YES don't wait a second longer. Any time someone forces themselves on you and you don't want them to it is rape. Please accept my sympathy. You are not a dirty scumbag, HE IS Report it before he does it to someone else.. I would have screamed my head off. Even though you didnt say NO, you tried to get free.
2006-12-21 11:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this was done without your consent, and with extreme force, then YES! You were raped. You should report that @$$hole to the proper authorities.
2006-12-21 11:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutly. THe struggle should have been enough for him to realize and the fact that he left right after with you crying tells me that he knew what he did. You should seek counsiling to process your feelings...your life is not ruined. Your first magical sexual experience will still happen with your husband...after your married.
2006-12-21 11:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes write away and be sure to tell all the details here and any other ones that you may have left out okay if you are not willing then it is rape
2006-12-21 11:00:22 · answer #11 · answered by angie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋