Twas the night before x-mas,
when all through the house,
everybody felt sh*tty even the mouse.
With mom at the whorehouse,
And dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ***!
When out on the lawn I hear such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter!
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the f**ker had fell!
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber d*ck for my brother, the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The S.O,B. blew the chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a hel* of a night! YALF!
2006-12-21 02:53:04 · 19 answers · asked by seahawk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HAHAHAHA..............I like it!
2006-12-21 10:27:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like mine better. I WROTE IT.
Twas the week before Christmas
And all through the store
Were all spending money
Till we don’t have any more.
The kids all see Santa
He’s perched in his chair
Listening to wish’s
But he don’t really care.
He scratches his belly
And chuckles with glee
As he pockets the money
From you and from me.
The girls each got cell phones
To call all their friends
While their daddy is hoping
This madness soon ends.
Now its one day till Christmas
The packages are wrapped
But dad knows the truth
This stuff is all crap.
Its things the kids wanted
Dad spent lots of cash
He knows that in six weeks
This stuff will be trash.
Now dads in the poor-house
And moms laughing hard
Dad spent all his money
Mom used credit cards.
2006-12-21 11:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by DB 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is marginal. I would like it better if it kept pace better. It doesn't flow as poems should. When you read it it should roll from your tongue. Your poem does at times but other times it feels broken or rushed. Try to make it flow better by adding a few words here or there. For example
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber d*ck for my brother, the queer.
That flows but this doesn't
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The S.O,B. blew the chimney apart!
This flows a bit better
He rose up the chimney with a most thunderous fart.
And left a stench that nearly stopped my heart.
Hope I helped.
2006-12-21 11:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
LMAO, I am trying to get some work done around here...but it is really hard when the poetry is so captivating....
YALF
Hey Terrell, feel me poking you in the as*s from down here?? sheeeeesh, there is a critic in every crowd
2006-12-21 11:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by brazenone 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To be honest no I do not like this poem because If you are talking about christmas It soppose to be about christmas, something special. Not all this cursing in this poem is unnessary. My goodness.
2006-12-21 10:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by Wayneisa S 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Oh boy...
"Think of the children, won't someone think of the children?!"
Rofl. Pretty funny.
2006-12-21 10:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by chrisser665 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i love it but you forgot to include that pinky and golden angel where sucking each other d!cks
2006-12-21 11:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
liked it better the first time I read it... back when I was about 10 years old..... 26 years ago....
2006-12-21 10:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by jairman2004 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
LMAO!!!!....That's a xmas classic that you will never find in any one of those hallmark cards...
2006-12-21 11:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I like it, Awesome!!
2006-12-21 11:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by phe_03 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i love it especially the rhythm's you have a state in poem writing
2006-12-21 10:59:21 · answer #11 · answered by jovene_cunningham2000 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋