My boyfriend and I were having a discussion about gift giving and he stated that he felt it was fine for a female friend (whom we both know and like - this isn't a jealousy issue!) to give him a leather jacket or bottle of expensive cologne for Christmas. I feel this is weird as these arent gifts that "friends" exchange (all the other gifts exchanged are in the $15-$20 range).
He also felt it was fine for another man to purchase items like this for me - including jewelery - as long as it wasn't a ring or necklace.
If a male friend bought me a gold bracelet I would feel weird and uncomfortable.
When would you feel a gift given to your Boyfriend/Girlfriend had crossed over from being generous to inappropriate?
2006-12-21 02:32:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You are right those gifts in my opinion, would be inappropriate no matter what....friends shouldn't be buying friends such expensive gifts besides, men only give women jewelry when they are intimate, sorry I know alot of people will disagree, but that's how I feel and my experience.
2006-12-21 03:27:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your instincts are correct, the $15-$20 range is plenty for friends to be spending on each other. Exchanging expensive and personal gifts is usually reserved for people in a committed relationship, or it means you expect something intimate in return. So you are right to feel uncomfortable with the expensive gifts and you should simply tell your boyfriend that. If he cares about you, he will politely refuse the gift. If someone gives you something expensive and you feel it's inappropriate, politely tell that person you don't feel comfortable accepting it. It's a touchy situation...good luck!
2006-12-21 02:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by mom of 2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the gift given makes you feel uncomfortable in accepting it, it is inappropriate.
This is a very broad question in that relationships vary so significantly.
Personally, the closer I am to someone, the more I spend.
But I will tell you this, if a female "friend" gave my husband a leather jacket for a present, I'd be kicking some "friend"ly A$$. LOL
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-21 04:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by BB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it makes either you or your boyfriend\ girlfriend feel uncomfortable, then it is inappropriate. Friends ( close and true friends ) should know the guidelines for gift giving and will usually know what lines not to cross. Sounds like your female friend doesn't know where to draw a correct line in gift giving or she does and other motives are behind her expensive gifts to YOUR boyfriend. Time for a chat with her and if she is a true friend she will know where you are coming from. Good Luck.
2006-12-21 03:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by violet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think it depends on who the friend is. It can be easy to be jealous (especially when your honey is receiving a present from a beautiful woman) but I'm sure she didn't mean to make you feel weird about it. Ultimately it's up to him to let her know in the future he'd prefer less lavish gifts.
I'm very good friends with my old boss (who is a guy). I've gone out for drinks with him, baby-sat his kids, golfing, etc. His wife is incredibly cool about it, but when xmas time comes around I always have problems getting an unexpensive gift for him. I always find nice ties, etc, but ultimately I feel that I would be uncomfortable if I were in his shoes. Instead I take the money I'd put into his gift and lavish it on his family, kids and wife, giving them each a present. This has proven to be a much better option and she has mentioned to me that she appreciated the thought behind it.
So I guess it's pretty much, do onto others.
2006-12-21 02:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kati B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If a male friend who you have no romantic feelings for gives you a gold bracelet, it is better to return the gift than to keep it and to give the guy a wrong idea that it is ok to expect any romance just because of the expensive gift.
2006-12-21 03:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by o302 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A gift is inappropriate when it makes either you or you significant other uncomfortable. There is no set dollar limit. It all depends on your finicial situation and those of your friends. For example my husband and I are much better off than my best friend. We give her a much more expensive gift than she gives us. It's not really the cost of the gift that matters; it's the thought and effort behind the gift. I treasure the homemade photo album just as much as she treasures the cashmere sweater that is the perfect shade of blue.
2006-12-21 03:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by KitKat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One respondant said "to personal"? Aren't our relationships with our friends personal?
I mean...friends are people we CHOOSE to have in our lives. These are personal relationships. There is no limit on what friendship is worth, therefor trying to put a limit on how much a friend should spend on the other is ridiculous. Some of my friends are well off and I know they spend alot more during the holidays than I do. Doesn't mean they expect me to spend the same. The joy is in the giving and if this mutual friend wants to buy your boyfriend something a little nicer than what most of us can do for our friends, let her! The only mesage behind this gift is friendship. Appropriate doesn't come into play here.
2006-12-21 02:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by kcarp73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me it would have to be the intent behind giving the gift. If the girl or guy is giving the gift in a romantic gesture than yes it would be inappropriate. If the intent was purely friendly than I wouldn't be bothered.
2006-12-21 02:44:50 · answer #9 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything over $30 from a friend, unless it is something really special that has meaning, is over the line. Plus, the TYPE of item matters. The things you listed are too personal for a friend to buy, unless you specifically asked for it.
2006-12-21 02:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋