Okay, my grandmother passed away on dec. 20, 2000. It was incerdably difficult, since she half raised me. She was in every since on the word- my best friend.
Yet, since she has passed on, I do not look at that date with much meaning, because yes, she did die on that date, but the things I mourn are that of missing her and certain traditions we had, and spending time with her.
So that date, is really meaningless to me. That is when she dies, and not a date I care to dwell on. But my FATHER on the other hand, calls everyone on that date, (yesterday!)
and proceeds to say this is the day she died, do you remember? Oh I miss my mom, and goes on and on.
I know he had hurt, as did alot of us. But I just find it crude to call everyone just to remind them that she died, today, 6 years ago, and You will never get over it.
Is this just his sadness? And what can I say to him to break this "morbid" tradition he has started?
2006-12-21 01:35:12 · 8 answers · asked by big mommasweeta 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should talk with you Dad. Tell him that you prefer to remember Grandma, his Mom, in life. Celebrate her birthday; remember the good things; talk about how she made you feel; talk as if she is still with you because she is always going to be part of your life. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to mourn her, but she want you remember her at her best.
2006-12-21 02:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try respecting how your dad feels. How would you feel if you lost your parent? I lost my mom last year and I just know it will hurt for a long time. I will never stop missing her.
And hey, your dad isn't alone... Did you know that most churches will say an anniversary mass every year for someone who passed away?
Get over yourself. Life isn't all about you. If the date doesn't mean much to you and you don't care, how hard can it be for you to just listen to him? I'm glad you're not my child!
2006-12-21 09:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably good for him to talk about it and the only thing (other than time) that's going to help him move on. My grandmother died 15 years ago and my dad still gets sad on that day. I wouldn't try to do anything other than comfort him.
2006-12-21 09:39:52 · answer #3 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take a oppy to talk to him either before or after the date. let him know how much you love your gram & the way you prefer to view that date. tell him how the call makes you feel. perhaps you can consider a way of commemorating the date that is more positive. maybe a contribution to a cause your gram held dear with an " in memoriam" card sent to your dad. he will know that you are thinking of her (and him.)
2006-12-21 09:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by L. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people just need to talk about their problems. Also, maybe what he always talks about is his mother's death, but there could be something else that's bothering him..a big or small problem that he wants to talk about, but doesn't know who to talk to.
I suggest you listen to him and let him know you care.
2006-12-21 10:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♥honey♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
other people feel sad in different ways. you don't like to talk or remember, but he likes to remind everybody. maybe he doesn't want to feel like the only sad one. he wants people to be sad with him.
2006-12-21 10:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Hayla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U both connected with her in different ways u both feel different and u both will deal with your lose in different ways.Dont be mad at your dad thats his way of coping.
2006-12-21 18:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JUST TELL HIM THAT IM SURE EVERYONE KNOWS AND YOU DONT NEED TO TELL ANYONE ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT GET THERE FEELINGS HURT AND IM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN! BUT I KNOW IT IS HARD LOSING SOMEONE BUT AFTER 6 YEARS I THINK IT WILL BE OK TO TELL HIM TO STOP!!!!
2006-12-21 09:43:06 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha R 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋