How do I explain this??

Question

My daughter has asked a question and I don't know how to answer her without confusing her. Let me explain....
My husband (her dad) has a nervous tick that sounds sort of like a laugh. His mother says that he has done this ever since he was little. (we know why but I'm not going into that). My problem right now is the little kids at school have heard this and they pick fun. Which doesn't bother my husband or myself, but it has brought it to attention to our daughter. She has never realized that daddy was doing something weird so to speak because she has been around it all her life. She now is asking why daddy does that noise. I am asking if anyone else has had to deal with something like this and how did you handle it????

Just to let you know the kids at school aren't making fun of her they just tease my husband and he doesn't mind. He says that it is just kids.

I would greatly appreciate any help you can offer.

My daughter is 7 and the teasing doesn't bother any of us. It's just that she wants to know this.

Answer 1

try explaining to your daughter that everyone has something about them that is unique. Her dad in this case has this unique feature that separates him from everyone else. Explain to her that if she loves her dad then she has to love him for what he is and part of that is his unique laugh. Others, some kids at school, don't know her father as she does and have chosen to make fun of him, this is their choice and in doing so it is hurting her, so they are not really friends if they intentionally go out of their way to do this. Would she do this to someone else who was a little different? This is a wonderful opportunity to teacher her about treaty others with respect and accepting their unique differences. Perhaps on the next school visit you could mention this to your daughters teacher or teachers as this is a form of bullying that school kids have an overabundance of these days. The fact that they make fun of someone's parent to hurt another school mate is not acceptable. The teacher or teachers in this case have an obligation to the public at large to make it know to their students that such behaviour is unacceptable. Your daughter should also realise that problems like this are going to crop up over the years and she needs to know how to handle them in a sincere, caring manner so that her relationship with her father is not compromised by some bullies at school many of which in 5 to 10 years time she will have a difficult time even remembering their names, her father is her father for a lifetime.

Answer 2

Just explain to her that there is nothing wrong with her father. If they're not making fun of her there should be no problem at all. Just sit down with her and tell her the reason that her father has aquired this unusual tick. I am assuming that since she is old enough to ask the question in the first place, she is old enough to receive an answer.

Answer 3

You didn't say how old she is, but she's old enough to ask the questions and that deserves an answer. Tell her about it, that it just happens, has ever since he was little, and maybe get into what the cause is, depending on her understanding. If she knows why/how maybe she can explain to the other kids and they'll stop.

Answer 4

I would just be open to your daughter and tell her what you just said. I'd also mention how kids, as any parent can tell you, can be brutal with both their honesty and their teasing. It's a fact of life and there's not much you can do other than teach her how to cope and or react to the kids taunting.

Answer 5

Wow kids are so cruel. There is really no way around it except for her to tell them exactly what is wrong with him. Not that she owes anyone an explanation. How old are these kids anyway?

Answer 6

i think just tell the truth.--and since your husband doesn't mind, sooo, let her tell it to the kids that tease.
i've done this sort of thing many times before and it works.

Answer 7

relate it to something that you do or she does... like if you twitch your foot when you watch something boring ... (i do) ... also tell her that there is nothing wrong with daddy .... its just something that makes him unique ... ask her if there is something that she does or could do to be like him .... as for the other kids it is stupid but like your husband says they are just being kids... we all had that one kid or that mean old lady we started rumors about ... if you didn't i feel bad for you.

xoxo
emily

Answer 8

sounds like a very mild form of Tourettes syndrome. Have him get it checked...there is medication that can help and she won't be embarrassed. Explain that it's a medical condition and that she should ignore any remarks and such things from people who are being unkind.

Answer 9

Tell her exactly what you typed up there. If she still doesn't understand, then just explain to her when she is older.

Answer 10

there is nothing better than to be honest w/ her she has asked you this question...so she is old enough...explain to the best of your knowledge