“When will you get married???”
It was a family gathering, all my families and my parents’ best friends were all there. Well, They asked me for the 100th times the same question “when will you get married? don’t be picky… your mom and dad can’t wait to be grandparents.. you’re the only one they got….. get a man and get married… people gets old.. Carla.. blah blah..”
So, they kept asking…
And nagging…
And asking...
And nagging…
So, I decided to stand up and I said “Stop asking me that question again! I mean, I’m not ready to get married and yet no one wants to marry me either! I’d inform y’all if one day I got married! So, pls stop asking.. I so need a break! Ok? Thanks!”
Then I left.
I looked back, I saw my mom staring at me.. she looked disappointed and was shaking her head. Well, I know I sucked, didn’t I?
2006-12-21 01:17:01 · 33 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They honestly think they're intentions are good. Most relatives are annoying and don't realize it. You're mom just looked disappointed because she was embarrassed by your behavior in front of everyone. Apologize to moms, everyone else will get over it.
2006-12-21 01:29:27 · answer #1 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The people who asked the question were perhaps well-meaning ones, who have your and your parents interest in mind. Your reaction was also understandable, as you get the same questions put to you often.
Yes, you could have passed on the thoughts in a better manner than by losing your temper, but this is hindsight wisdom.
Maybe if you really feel that the people who were present at the occasion didnt deserve this type of outburst, you coul call them up individually and say sorry genuinely. They are most likely to understand. You need to however keep your promise of telling them when the time comes when you decide to get married.
If someone else asks you the same question again, take care to be more diplomatic in your reply!
2006-12-21 01:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, I feel you on this one. Every time my family gets together it's the same thing over and over. I think the reason parents want their kids married off so soon is because most of them got married at younger ages in their generation as well as the fact that they see you getting married as the very last tie being cut that's keeping you from being their child (no matter what age you are) to becoming a bonified adult. The problem ios that nowadays, people our age are ALOT busier than the same age group of their generation was. Not to mention that the two career couple is no longer a luxury, it is a necessity, and when everyone is working all the time it cuts down on the ammount of time we have to spend in social situations where we could meet the right person. Oh well, live your life, and if your parents don't understand the fact that your life is different than theirs was or different than the plan they have for you..well, tough titty..
2006-12-21 01:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Blind Sighted 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get the same pressure. I'm the only one out of six kids (four step siblings included) that isn't married and having kids. Not everyone is in the same place at the same time. I'm 27, but that doesn't mean that I should be doing what someone else was at the same age.
Try and communicate how you feel in the most honest and adult way you can. I did that for a while, and my family rarely nags me anymore. And try pointing out the good things that you ARE doing with your life.
2006-12-21 01:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by Karen W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, YOU didn't suck, THEY did. That "over and over" stupid question can get very annnoying. What is this, the 1950's? Who says a woman HAS to get married at a certain age, or she's going to "miss out". You tell those people that's one of the reasons for so many failed marriages, people rushing into things they think they "have" to do at a certain time or age. When you are ready, you'll send them all invitations, an they better bring expensive gifts!
2006-12-21 01:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them your life is your own, and if you even DO want to get married, you will do so when the right man comes along. Really, it's none of their business. Dear Abby always says to reply to such nosey questions "if you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking." If your parents are so desperate to be grandparents, tell them to get involved with foster children. There are lots of programs out there in schools and social services agencies.
I was fortunate, I did not get married till way past the average age but my parents never nagged me about it.
2006-12-21 01:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your blowing up at the family gathering was rude and uncalled for and certainly an embarrassment for your family. They probably sense that you are a picky person and think that you are too good for most guys. A lot of women with this attitude end up old cat ladies! Your family just wants to make sure you don't miss out on having a husband and children.
2006-12-21 01:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't let them pressure you just to satisfy their desires. You need time to find the right person rather than rush into a "lifetime" arrangement than you may regret down the road. Just take your time, find the man of your dreams, and everything will work out for you (and your family) in the end.
2006-12-21 01:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You should get married when you fall in love and see that the guy is worth spending the rest of your life with, no sooner.
2006-12-21 01:19:38 · answer #9 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, don't worry about what your mom did. You had enough of it and you needed to get it off your chest. They need to respect you and realize that you will get married when you find a guy that will want to spend the rest of his life with you and you with him. They need to just back off and give you space.
2006-12-21 01:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋