A few years ago my aunt (mom's sister) and uncle (her husband) were having problems. My uncle was friends with my dad, and had told my dad a bunch of lies, i.e. She is a horrible mother, she is cheating, etc. So my dad talked crap about her to make him feel better. My uncle asked my dad (and 2 of their mutual friends) to buy a camera to use to spy on her with, to see if she was cheating. My dad is an idiot and said yes. Afraid that my dad will rat him out and tell the family, my uncle tells my aunt my dad has been talking crap about her. Now alot of people in my family dislike my dad. My parents have been separated for 4 years, and my mom is just starting to move on, so she wanted to invite my dad (who is all alone) here for the holidays. Now, however, my aunt has said she will not be anywhere near my dad. So since xmas is at her house... my mom and I are spending xmas alone without the family. My dad is left feeling guilty for putting my mom in that position, my aunt is left (con't)
2006-12-21 00:47:38 · 9 answers · asked by while_love_remains 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
With her feelings hurt, I am left sad because all I want is for my family to get along, and my uncle is left to enjoy the holidays since he stabbed my dad in the back to save his own butt since my dad isn't here to defend himself. Is there anything I can do to try and get my mom and aunt to make up? My whole family is upset that we can't just be happy. I don't know who's fault it is, I just wish my mom and aunt wouldn't have to deal with the consequences. What should I do? Just leave it alone? Or try to talk to my aunt and mom about it?
2006-12-21 00:50:04 · update #1
I'd like to sit down and talk to my aunt, but she doesn't know the whole story and it would devestate her to find out that my uncle had said all those things and done all those things. I don't feel like it is my place to say anything..
2006-12-21 01:00:54 · update #2
Sweetheart, this is out of your control. Unfortunately, the adults in your family have behaved badly and everyone is suffering the consequences as a result. Yes, your uncle has acted like a jerk, but your father should have known better than to get involved in someone Else's relationship mess. That is just something you learn with age and maturity.....to stay OUT because relationships always twist and turn.
I think you should talk to your aunt, uncle, mother and father separately and sincerely, and let them know how you feel. If nothing else, hopefully, they will be adult enough to remember that Christmas is for the children and not for the poorly behaved adults.
I hope they are mature enough to get along for one day. If not, please try to find Christmas in your heart and make it a special day anyway for you and the other children involved. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!
2006-12-21 01:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It completely depends on how your family handles confrontation. Because there will probably be one. First, your parents need to sit down and talk, Then they should try to talk to your aunt, two people talking to her would probably work better then just one. Your dad needs to tell her everything that happened and then apologize for being childish. If your aunt doesnt except that then that is her problem not anyone elses and your family should realize after that, that she is the problem and needs to deal with her husband instead of causing all of this chaos.
2006-12-21 00:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by southrnbell21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just let your mom know all about this and ask her to get along with your dad.
And than ask your mom to tell her sister that she needs to have her husband for chirstmas and that whatever happened was a misunderstanding. If your mom wont mind she can tell her sister the truth of what happened.
2006-12-21 01:18:44 · answer #3 · answered by Someday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything you can do. Sometimes people just make choices in there lives that have consequences that affect others. I am sorry for you and your family but you need to try and move on and make the best of your life and holiday with whomever you chose to spend them with.
2006-12-21 00:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by griefstricken 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your nephew needs to get his license and a automobile! he's a huge boy now and if he's "on his own" then he needs to have the potential to locate his own way on your place which you're graciously beginning as much as him to stay at. clarify to him the subsequent time that he needs to come again for a pass to which you lose money you elect dearly basically coming to p.c.. him up for his visits and he the two needs to kick in on the gas or call a cab or bus to convey him on your place, which you will no longer be able to have sufficient money to lose that money. actually in those low economic circumstances he can understand that. Being a teenager, he possibly hasn't even found out it through fact he does not quite understand the approaches of the international yet. And why are not one in each and every of his mother and father going to get him? i'm assuming they stay interior of attain to you, so what stops them from going and choosing him up? especially if the daddy isn't working, that works out all the way around through fact he's not doing something besides!
2016-10-15 09:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by dickirson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your aunt's feelings stems from her believeing lies, how can everyone move on if the truth isn't finally revealed? you dad isn't putting your mother in an awkward position, she's allowing herself to be denied the pleasure of family b/c of his poor choices. if she wants time w/your dad & her sister, make seperate plans. life is too short to allow this type of thing to keep her from her sister. Husbands may come & go but your sister will always be your sister.
2006-12-21 01:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by L. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Mickey. They are adults and only GOD is in control, not you. The best you can do is pray for everyone involved, not allow yourself to get caught up in their drama, and do your best to make your own arrangements for spending some time with your father. People who hold grudges are keeping themselves prisoners in their own little hell and there's nothing anybody else can do about it. We have to CHOOSE to forgive others, whether we actually feel like forgiving them or not. The feelings will come later...
2006-12-21 01:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring your aunt and mom together, and tell them the truth. treat your dad lovingly coz he is lonely. try to spend more time with him.
2006-12-21 00:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do....their adults and they should be able to figure out their own mess.
2006-12-21 01:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋