Why is it that the majority of gay men base their personalities around their sexuality when it really doesn't form a great part of who you are, but more what you are? This really gets to me - I don't like falseness
2006-12-20 22:59:03 · 16 answers · asked by Stormpoet 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A gender identity affiliation is not a personality trait - it is a sexual pathology and environmental variable in response to hetero-normative conditioning of society that makes the gay man a token, a stereotype or totally invisible...
Look at the motivation behind the behaviour. A gay man who acts 'camp' is marketing himself to increase his chances to get laid, is parodying hetero-centric society in protest to being considered a 'freak' for being gay. It is not 'falseness' - but a COPING MECHANISM.
2006-12-20 23:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it has to do with fact that society focuses so much on a homosexual persons sexuality. It is so different because a straight person has no concept of how much of their own personality is made up of their sexual orientation. You see it as normal behavior but to homosexuals it stands out because it is a marked difference to how we see the world. Sometimes any deviation from the norm is perceived as an act.
I am bisexual and most people have no idea I have homosexual feelings I can mask it well because I am able to draw on my straight side to act like you guys but, when I am free to be me most still would not know unless they ask. They act shocked when they see something out of the norm and they make changes in the way they treat me. When I came out at work most did not treat me different and I have not changed the way I treat them but some did change the way they treat me and to those people I do act different but they fail to realize the difference is because I am more defensive around them now that they have become so offensive to me.
My orientation is only an issue to those who have a problem with it. As for those that act Camp all the time they must be feeling very oppressed to have to put forth this act al the time or maybe they have been personally so damaged by the way they have been treated that this is now their personality. I am g0y and for the most part we are not like the gay community we just freely admit that we are homosexual and into masculine men.
2006-12-21 11:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never flaunted my sexuality or based my personality on being a gay man, nor do my gay friends.
My local pub has a customer base of 95% heterosexual people (allegedly) the regulars who frequent the pub are aware that I and my partner are gay but they see beyond that and treat us no differently from heterosexuals.
I must admit that I have known gay men who do flaunt their homosexuality and make an issue of it, luckily they are few and far between, there is nothing to be gained by being in peoples faces with your sexuality.
2006-12-21 08:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Paulo.GZ. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agfree that SOME gay men act very different than they really are,,, ie flamboyant ore girly. I can not tell you how nice it is for me that i can meet a gay man that is nice and not over the top. I don't know why some feel like they have to behave this way but I also know that i am genuinly a nice guy but people can talk to me without knowing me for about one inute and they just know i am gay... I don't act in any particular way but I guess how i say things and the way i carry myself tells them I am gay. So i don't act or or put on a act for others so maybe my soft spoken attitude is a key to who I am.... NOt sure but I DO know what you mean when some are OUT THERE
2006-12-21 07:34:42 · answer #4 · answered by qcdon30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think to begin it's important to recognize that what you are greatly informs who you are. The two are intrinsically linked. As to why it's such a central part of a gay person's identity, I would guess it's likely because it's made to be such a central part of our identity. For many people, that alone defines us; just as being black or white defines us for many people.
We base our personalities around our sexuality as both a celebration of that wonderful part of our life as well as a rejection of the oppression that we have often been made to suffer for it. It's a matter of having pride not in our sexual orientation alone, but in the whole of who we are - everything about us.
I should note I am a gay person who does not have any tendencies which are traditionally associated with being gay. I am the same person now as I was before I came out.
Just getting laid more ;-)
2006-12-21 07:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that is a feature of modern life. If you ask most people to describe themselves they start with their job, their religion or their orientation. If the think of gay as a lifestyle then they are being normal in this behaviour. They might even be justified in their life. It might be the most defining thing about them. Especially if they are a cubicle dweller.
I am not gay but I have known quite a few of the gay people from work and life. It is the same as how some people define themselves as Environmentalists.
2006-12-21 07:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by Barabas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ashley is so smart. I agree, it's a coping mechanism.
Most people want to be a part of this world and so they act the way straight people think they're supposed to act to fit in. Look how popular feminine gay men are like William Sledd.
I agree that more 'natural' gay men per se should be represented more but whenever the media tries they come across as closet-cases usually...or they go overboard and make us all Republicans or something. The media just sucks, period. It tries to sell to the lowest common denominator so that means relying on stereotypes and political correctness. Like calling gay people 'partners' and displaying images of the most stereotypical kinds of gay men imagainable.
Me? I don't give a **** how straight people see me. I can be masculine or feminine to them. I don't care. Only God can judge me. =) I just know that I like dick, and I know that liking dick doesn't mean that I 'm crazy about fashion or 'the theater' in fact I HATE those things, they're boring as hell.
2006-12-21 18:26:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Our society regards being straight as being the norm, and so as a straight individual grows up and develops their personality/identity, they invest less thought on their orientation. There is no reason for them to obsess about their sexuality because they are 'normal' in their society. The individual therefore develops their identity around other aspects of their life.
Being gay, and realising it at an early age, comes with an angst that the straight individual doesn't have to deal with. The gay individual has to figure their 'place' in society, trying to understand why they are different, and why they are being ostracised because of this difference.
I believe this discrepency in our society is what results in this marked difference between gay and straight people. It results in a different way of thinking, if not a different of behaving as well.
2006-12-21 08:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Soren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with ROQ!
Honestly, sexuality is a larger part of a gay person's personality because it's something that others take note of. It's also something that people are far more likely to judge you upon. Straight people don't often get that, so they don't have to worry about making their sexuality part of their personality. Society doesn't help by telling people that being straight is "natural".
2006-12-21 07:44:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean majority of gay men? Men in general do that. Ask any heterosexual woman what a man thinks with, and you will get the same answer.
2006-12-21 08:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋