My partner is a wonderful woman, more than i ever thought i would find, she was not the reason i split from my wife, i did not meet her until three years after my marriage was over.
my daughter is now 13 and i have been seperated from her mother since she was 3-4. She is a beautiful loving caring young woman, who i could not bare to be apart from.
Sometimes it seems like they both hate each other and it is breaking my heart.
I don't expect them to be best mates but at least be civil to each other maybe even like each other.
2006-12-20 22:43:17 · 11 answers · asked by eric t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you really expect a teenage girl to like anyone?
2006-12-20 22:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by burtbb0912 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well what you can try, is sitting them both down at the same time and telling them how you feel just like you did here. Especially that it is breaking your heart. Tell them that if they are together at least for your sake act civil towards one another. You can try this that is not saying it will work. You and your partner need to be united on this because if your daughter sees that she can separate you and your partner and cause a rift between the two of you, she will. There is nothing wrong with letting your daughter know what you expect of her with her behavior. She may not like it, no she will not like it because she is a teenager. Tell them both you love them and it hurts you to see them fighting but enough is enough. All you can do is try.
2006-12-21 07:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if you were still with the mother, your daughter would seem to hate her...she's 13 now. that's just how 13 year old girls are. or maybe she's feeling like your partner is overstepping boundaries at times...trying to be a best friend or too much like a mother. talk to your daughter and find out exactly what it is about her that she doesn't like. it may be difficult though, seeing as teenagers don't generally enjoy talking to their parents. and as for your partner, you should have a talk with her. let her know that as much as you love her, it makes you uncomfortable the way she acts towards your daughter. you understand that dealing with another man's teenage daughter is difficult, but you need her to make that extra effort to help you make everything work out better. well, and of course talk to her about what it is about your daughter that she has such a problem with.
2006-12-21 06:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not understanding what you mean by "partner". Is she your girlfriend, lover, or what? I can understand the 13 year old not being civil, but what about this woman? Why is she not being civil? Is she jealous of the relationship you have with your daughter? Why isn't she trying to cultivate a friendship with the girl? Think about it.
BTW: 13 year old girls aren't that stupid. Your daughter may know what your "partner" is doing, which is why she might be acting hostile toward her. Wake up, my friend.
2006-12-21 07:50:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a teenage girl is not even kind to her own mother sometimes, so it is absolutely ok if she is not being civil to ur partner.
dont expect them to do activities together, yet divide some of ur time between the two.. for eg ur daughter may want u totally with her in complete privacy.. so give her that time.. also dont expect ur partner to adopt ur daughter from her heart right away..
when u stop having expectations from them.. they will not have to go by any standards and will be civil. will take some to happen but will definetely happen.
2006-12-21 06:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by howiwishicould 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you should first establish guidelines on both sides that there is to be courteous and respectful behavior from both of them towards the other.
What is disturbing or concerning here, is that you say, ..."they both hate each other". I can understand a child's acting hateful towards a viable candidate for her father's attention, but why would an adult muster an attitude of hatefulness towards the child of the man she supposedly cares so much about?
When a partner has children--there is always the potential for drama--you just expect it and know that it's going to be an undercurrent there.
I don't know....how "wonderful" would she be as a potential stepmother?
I just hate to see parents abandon their children or make them 2nd place to a mate--happens all the time.
2006-12-21 06:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by reeses30135 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daddy's little angel is in competition for your undivided attention with your partner. She will not get over it because she is still a child. This is not a lot different from a 3 year old and a new baby.
The major difference being a teenager is a despicable human being by definition. You are forced to ride it out as it will probably never change.
2006-12-21 07:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say as I have the best answer for you but, you have to keep in mind that at 13 they have all these hormone things happening to them. And they aren't necessarily the same people that they were say a couple of years ago. Its like something invaded their bodies. So, for now until the 13 year finishes going through the teen stuff I would say you just have to bear with things. (Unfortunately, for you that is, you are the one that gets to suffer.)
2006-12-21 06:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by winona e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Teenagers are just AWFUL to raise. They are so stuck in the me,me,me,me, and by the way there's me attitude. Don't put yourself in the middle. Tell them that too, "talk to each other ...not me". Friendship, I've found that the possibilty of being "friends" doesn't really happen till their 20 or so.
2006-12-21 06:49:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
how old is the new partner? let them figure it out or it will be chaos even more. just be good to them both and make sure daughter don't ruin your partner relationship. keep her in check. also never allow partner to convince you of bad things about your daughter. make sure you have facts. thanks
2006-12-21 06:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by shiznick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋