I need your opinion about my brother..?

Question

My brother is gay. I've known about it for about 8 years now. I am totally accepting of him and his lifestyle. He told my mom some years back and she locked herself in the bathroom crying and asking what she did wrong as a mother. Since then no one has mentioned anything further about it to her. He never said anything to my dad. I'm the only one in the family that really knows the true him. I'm the only one that he can have meet his boyfriends. I feel really bad that he can't be himself around my parents. I want him to be able to be himself. I am proud of everything that he puts up with and he still has the guts to be proud of himself! What should he do about my parents? He had to move back in with them (for financial reasons) so he has to put himself back in the closet and pretend to be a "normal" man. Do you think he should try again with my parents or should he just pretend to be something he's not when they're around?

He wouldn't get kicked out of the house. He has also brought bf's over there but he just tells them that the guy is a friend from work.

Answer 1

It is really up to him to approach your mother again. She needs reassurance that it was nothing she did. See if there is a chapter of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) in your city. They do a terrific job to help parents in accepting their gay son or daughter. They are usually listed in the yellow pages or you can find them on the internet where they list all their chapters in USA and Canada.
Meanwhile, your brother must be extremely proud and happy that he has such a terrific and loving sister. Take a bow Sis and keep up the good work.

Answer 2

I think that your very sweet to try and help your brother and your parents relationship.... But it is only up to them to talk about it. If your parents would rather pretend it doesnt exist then I would allow that for now it is up to your brother to push the issue if he wants them to share in his life or not and if he presses the isse and your parents freeze up you can be there to act as a buffer and show your parents how to act in acceptance. Maybe you on your own can talk to your mother about how you know your brother is gay and how cool you think he is and how much your happy for him and this and that and see if she says anything to you so you can let your brother know how she feels. Sometimes a lil push is all is needed. =) Good luck family issues are hard I know been through that I came out when i was 17 YIKES!!!

Answer 3

Your family has been given the time and opportunity to change and accept him. They have not taken it, meaning they probably won't.

If he MUST live with them (though I'd suggest he get out of there fast; it must be murder to his self-esteem) I would suppose he'd have to play by your parents rules.

Should you absolutely feel the need to talk to them, I suggest doing a lot of research first. Look into the fact that the APA disqualified it as a mental disease almost 40 years ago. The fact that many gay people live normal, loving lives. The fact that he's their son should help open up their eyes. If it doesn't? It's not worth the trauma.

Answer 4

your parents just need a little more time dealing with it. it does take time to accept the gay lifestyle, especially if it is your own child. maybe he can try telling them again, and say that being gay is who he really is. he can also tell them that they need to start getting used to the idea that he is gay and will be for the rest of his life. there's nothing that anyone could do to change him.

Answer 5

Whilst he living in his parents house the he must abide by their rules. Help him get a better paying job so he can move out or a sugar daddy (not too old tho) to help pay the rent. But congratulations to you young lady for your support of him. I wish I had had a sister like you.

Answer 6

I think he needs to move out and move on with his life. The parents can be a part of his life when they want to be a part of his real life.

Answer 7

hy hons gay boyfriends daviie and steeviie hons, gay porno stars and nude waiters gay mens bar restaurants and male stripperss hons. okay we are 21 and 22, and got threw out at 16 and i7 bye the. dads in both of our families(grew up-- as boyhood friends) anyways, we never returned home or looked back. this brother of yours, for what ever reasons, and we dont care if he was having finacial troubles should have never ever returned to your folks home. we comend you for being there for him as a sister. he is gay and shouldent have too pretend about anything. he should be able too, be out on his own. living the gay life and functionn, out on his own. we would never ever consider returning home and pretending not too be gay. for what ever respons here your brother should be steetling downe with another gay partner and relying on one another in times of job lossees or finacial reasons. too be runing home is a huge mistake. pretending is no excuse. your brother should be with another gay partner living the gay life, and, supporting one another. and living the gay lifestyle.

Answer 8

I think he needs to talk to his parents especially the mom and reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong in raising him. She may just need to educate herself on the subject, if they love there son they shouldn't cut him off and i'm sure you'd be there for him right? He need to do it when he gets back on his feet though because it maybe harder for your father.

Answer 9

Horses for courses there are plenty of places he can go to be his true self and if it is convenient to live cheaper at home he should observe the home rules even though he is only going through the pretence.

Answer 10

i dont think your parents are ready to deal with it.

maybe your brother should have a gay friend over (dont tell anyone he's gay), so your parents can see how normal gay people are, thus diminishing their fear?

good luck!