specially for girls that have been dumped, i am going through a break up, i still love him so much but he says this is not going to work and that his feelings for me are not the same as they were, i feel so guilty because i let my self go in so many levels and took him for granted, its been a week since he left and the grief i feel and the oppression in my chest are almost unbearable. i fear how i will be feeling in xmas and new years, i will be so depressed. how do you move on when you have no energy to do anything and everything that sorrounds you reminds you of him?
2006-12-20 21:59:30 · 13 answers · asked by saminita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Saminita, this is the chance to totally overhaul your life. He has left saying that his feeling are not the same and you do know why he might have lost interest. Now is the time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get really motivated to make yourself better. Both physically and emotionally. Doing this will help you on many levels - you will feel great, you will look great, he will notice the change and will probably regret leaving you... and chances are you will become more attractive to other people as well.
The best way to fight the depression is to get yourself busy. Go to the gym - get yourself in top shape, get fit and feel fit. Get a great new hairstyle. Change your wardrobe, have fun with clothes and style, find yourself and express yourself. Take this opportunity to rekindle friendships - call and meet up with your old mates. Find ambition in your work or studies - aim to achieve something more that you are doing now. In short - get yourself into gear and live life to the full. When you feel down and unmotivated, think of the man you lost - and PROMISE YOURSELF NEVER TO LOOSE anything in life again!
I know that a break up hurts. I can also tell you that pain is one of the greatest motivations to change. Go girl, you can do it! xx
2006-12-20 22:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by confused_kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day at the time girl, one day at a time....
If he was up front enough to tell you the truth, just go with it... I know it may seem like the end of the world, but you don't need to be with someone who does not love you in the same way.. Everything is for a reason, & apparently he was not willing to commit... When the hurt gets bad, get up & get busy, clean something, take a walk, go somewhere & literally scream (preferably where no one will think you crazy & have you locked away in a padded cell k?)... Get in touch with yourself... If he can be like this with you loving him so much maybe you need to make a list of the pro's & con's of the relationship. I am speaking from my own experience as my husband of 20 years walked out & left me with a 16 year old son, & a 4 year old precious baby girl, & that was almost 3 years ago, & I am here to tell you it was a rough go at the start, but now I wouldn't change a thing.... I am a better person for it, because I have decided that he didn't deserve the unconditonal love that I had to offer, & I know deep down there is someone out there that does....
So you keep your chin up, put it in your head that it is his loss you hear me? & if all else fails, what goes around. comes around..... :o)
Merry Christmas.... & to a new year!!
<;>
LJ
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
2006-12-21 06:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by Linda Jo V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's serious about the relationship not working then you have to snap out of this situation .. and fast before you drown in your own self pity.
I know its hard to get over a relationship, especially when you didnt want it to be over. It feels like you're grieving for a lost loved one, which in a way you are. But, you can and must get over this.
Firstly, have a clear out. If everything reminds you of him, then clear out all the stuff. If you cant throw it in the rubbish just yet then get it out of sight. You think you've let yourself go then do soemthing to make you feel better - get your hair done etc. Go on a shopping trip and buy new clothes.
But the most important thing is that although you need to do these things and move on with your life, bottling up grief is not going to help. You need to let the sadness out. Try renting some weepy chick-flicks, get soem junk food and having a night in and just let yourself cry. Sounds daft, but really, it makes me feel better. It lets the pain out.
Good luck.
2006-12-21 06:04:26 · answer #3 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to be you for anything in the world right now.... I cant imagine my boyfriend leaving me - I love him so much - but we have been having so much problems, and i think we are going to break up sooner or later.... still I cant imagine how im going to move on..... all that I know is that I gave everything I had to him - so when i get out of this - i wont feel guilty - I gave everything to him - and still even that is not enough!! I hope that you get over this - its a mystery to me - do u get over someone you still love? I don't think so
2006-12-21 06:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Immortal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex dumped me on our 3 yr anniversary which also happened to be 3 days before my bday, which also happened to be near Christmas. What got me though it was the support of my mom( I had to move back home for a couple months) Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul, chocolate icecream, and the Bridgette Jone's Diary movie!
2006-12-21 06:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...same thing had happend to me...
had been together for 5 yrs...
and i faced de same situation .almost halfcrazy. i know it is not easy to get thru it,but no body can help u,except U
i suggest some of the tips..
-don listen to those heart broken songs.
-never ever think to call him n bagg him to turn back to u
-go out with ur fella....partyin n etc
and alots more..
go n make research about how to develope ur self after broke up..it can help u..don worry..
life is not over yet...;) u still young n hot!!
2006-12-21 06:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by young wifey~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for a change, look out for opportunities that make you happy. Stop thinking it all the times. Give your self some time, it will work out. We all have bad phases of our lives but life goes on.
2006-12-21 06:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by Coolguy_punjabi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off by doing a makeover..schedule your appointments and take exceptional care of yourself...keep working out.. and then... even though you're depressed "fake it til you make it"
It's tough..but you'll get through it.. perhaps with a new hairdo!
Get a theme song too..that helped me;)
2006-12-21 06:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by aroundtheom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surround yourself with positive minded, nurturing family, friends. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the process of the break up. It's a type of ' death ' , it's a death of a dream. Allow yourself to mourn the ' death '. That and time, time, time, time, time...you will be fine.
2006-12-21 06:04:32 · answer #9 · answered by onelight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to feel for someone, who doesnt care us. Feel better and try to be lovable by all ur friends and family. You should only feel pain when u miss someone who said " I'll stand by you for ever".
2006-12-21 06:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by KK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋