partner had an affair with a younger man we befriended. i was suspicious from the start and my insticts proved correct that the guy was only after my partner and not a friendship. this has happened to me in a relationship when i was younger also so that is my question. can gays in a relationship cope with friendships with other gays? i dont have any cause i dont trust there motives.
2006-12-20 21:23:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have a very good friend that is gay and single and he is very good looking... But I don't want to have sex with him because I know he is a friend I have been in a relationship for over 2 years and and never once did I worry nor my bf worry about me having sex with this person, I have had this friend for 13 years. I have been single and in relationships severeal times throughout our friendship and we spend TONS of time together shopping, dinners, movies , bars and never once have I wanted to sleep with him. I have currently been his roomate for about 3 years and we are like brothers. so to answer your question, Yes we can have friends without sleeping with them.... I have several other gay men friends I have never slept with and I would never sleep with cause they are friends. I never have cheated on my BF and we would Never consider an open relationship. I guess its all in your ethics and those people you choose to be around and thier ethics.
2006-12-20 21:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by qcdon30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a person in a relationship cannot have friendship with others then the couple concerned become very isolated and the relationship will probably collapse. Any relationship relies on trust. If there is sufficient love, respect and trust within a relationship then of course either party can have friendships with others who may or may not be in relationships. I have been with my partner for nearly ten years and we have lots of friends, single and in relationships and there is no problem. As with all humans there is always the risk that someone else will come along who lifts you off your feet. The real issue is whether your relationship is strong enough to withstand the odd storms that may come your way from time to time.
2006-12-21 13:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Adam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a trust issue on your part that is hindering you from forming lasting friendships with other gay people. However, this is understandable, considering the history. But you are generalising. I've had great friendships with couples as a single guy, and think they are most certainly attainable. I think you must just learn to evaluate the friends that you do allow close properly. Also - If your partner really did care about you he should not be screwing around (pardon the pun) with ANYONE else - friend or no friend.
2006-12-21 06:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by Stormpoet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All friendship is based on an attraction on some sort of level. All long term relationships have their ups and downs and it is very easy to turn to friends as a 'solution' to your problems. However you need to be clear on your own boundaries and ensure the other friend understands this. As you know there is a line in the sand that once crossed changes things for good. The short answer to your question is it can be done, but you need to be clear with your motives for friendship as does your friend!
2006-12-21 13:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a happy committed relationship and have lots of sigle gay friends. They respect my integrity, my husband trusts me, and that's that. My husband works for an airline where there's loads of single gay men and they travel all over the place - plenty of opportunities for affairs. But I trust him implicitly and that's that. No question.
Relationships must be based on trust, and just because you've been hurt before, don't asume all gay men are the same. Some of us have integrity and values. Sure, we both window shop and have our fantasy fives (#1: Frederik Michalak - google him!) but we know not to go there. Our relationship and trust in each other too important.
Good luck in building trust in your future partners, it's worth it in the long run!
2006-12-21 09:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by peanut1973 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course! Can a straight woman in a long term relationship handle a friendship with a single man? It all depends on the type of person they are. Some people just cannot be faithful (gay and straight). Please do not associate all gays as cheaters.
2006-12-21 23:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I believe that you can have friends if you are in a relationship, the question you should be asking is why your partner had an affair ..... what is missing out of your relationship that he should go and look for it somewhere else??? If you are truly happy and satisfied in your relationship you should not feel threatened by friends.
2006-12-21 05:29:20 · answer #7 · answered by liongirl_40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is not really a 'gay' question but one of emotional intelligence and trust. Being gay does not make me more honest, mature, sensitive, funny or a genius.
Your guy cheated because their was a lapse in communication, a lack of trust in the relationship or he lost faith in the idea of you as a partner. Nothing to do with being gay.
2006-12-21 05:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can heterosexuals handle relationships with people of the opposite sex? Yep and gay people aren't that much different or less able to handler their sexual desires. Short answer, yes indeed, but that says nothing about your guy. You'll just have to choose whether or not to trust him.
2006-12-21 05:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been in this situation myself..originally when i got with my bf (him being nearly 5 years older) it was fun n fresh, we were always having a laugh and goin out etc, but after nearly 4 years, its like the fun and excitement has gone and I have to say the eye wanders sometimes. now maybe that makes me weak or maybe im just bored. You have to learn to keep the freshness in your relationship and to always keep your partner on his toes. I hope you both work it out...but to be honest once a cheater...always a cheater. best of luck x
2006-12-21 05:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Wex Guy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋