My son is 25, lives at home. I can't get him to pay his share. He's a musician and part time teacher.?

Question

I just don't have the heart to ask him to move on and I am trying to give him the opportunity to follow his career choice of music, but I am steadily spending too much of my own money trying to keep all the bills paid. I have a two story house and have been considering selling it and getting something smaller, by myself. If he would just help me, I would not have to do this.

Answer 1

You must have a talk with him and tell him in order to stay, he must pay! He is grown and you have fulfilled your duty to raise this child. Make him responsible and make him pay his own way! Feel no guilt over this! It is your duty as a parent to make him independent! It is high time he realize what a burden he is putting on you! He will only do what you allow him to! If you don't see any change in his willingness to contribute his share of expenses, make him leave! You will have to do what is in your best interest and your son will have to try and make it on his own! This is often the best way to motivate a grown child to help himself! I know, I have kids too. They have always contributed when they were with me and did not squawk about it! I raised them to be independent and not expect anyone to support them when they were older. I figure, if I am not around one day to bail them out of trouble, at least they will be able to make it in the world. Sometimes, you really have to take a strong stand to motivate your kids!

Answer 2

The best way is to sit him down and be straight with him. Explain that you are pleased he's following his chosen career, but you will have to ask him to help pay the bills. Make sure you've worked out the amount you'll need from him first.

Explain that you're getting into debt now and that's why you have to ask him to contribute.

If your son ignores your plea, then you have a son that is very thoughtless and inconsiderate. This would be the time to sell up and move into your own one bedroom home. Your son would then be forced to care for himself and stop using you.

Children nowadays seem to be very selfish and parents need to be hard hearted to survive themselves. If you don't want to sell up, then I suggest you get a few newspapers with flats/apartments in them for him to look at with a view to rent. You have to be cruel to be kind. You're not really helping him by letting him carrry on this way. What would become of him if something were to happen to you? Help him get on his own two feet now.

I wish you all the best and hope your son opens his eyes.

Answer 3

If you don't have the heart to ask him to move on???? Your problem is you are ENABLING him. You don't want him to leave either. Then you cease to be the parent...your work done. does he play at the pro level 5-6 nights a week? Is he teaching 8 hrs a day, 5 days a wk? Get a gut check and tell Freddie the Freeloader to get out. Who's gonna support him when you die? Is THAT when he will step out into the cold, cruel world? Actually, that's meaner than giving him 30 days to find a place and get out. If he were going to pay money, at 25 he'd have the concience to do so. Your parenting days are over. Get with the program.

Sure, there are a lot of folk with an album to produce. They spent their lives getting it ready... in the "business" the producer will tell him, as he basks in the glow of his hit, that he needs the NEXT one in six months...and it must be better. THAT'S the music business.

Answer 4

basically like in flirting - a splash teasing is a robust element. in case you have one or 2 songs available to document share people will opt to purchase the album to verify what else is on it. Then utilising the two the band's website or yet another for-earnings song receive website people ought to pay to receive and the band might get better than sufficient money out of the deal. to no longer point out downloaded song is far greater suitable environmentally so which you ought to sell the entire 'green' perspective. in case you needed to be quite reducing area - offered song ought to incorporate its own code (the two imbeded or a collection of numbers) that makes the customer eligible for provide-aways or different particular promos. maximum folk choose bands to earn a good residing. all of us understand maximum bands starve for some years in the past hitting it vast (I remember whilst your set consisted of a few bicycles suspended from the actual of the point. some issues have replaced because then. lol). the secret's if some creativity is used there are a number of opportunities the place the two the band and the song listeners can win. you have consistently struck me through fact the fairly some greater smart musicians obtainable - i seem forward to seeing the way you utilize technologies on your benefit (basically like your positioned up at right here it relatively is thoroughly loose promoting for the band and additionally reward Yahoo) yet it relatively is basically my idealistic 2 bits. i'm a tumbler 0.5 finished style of gal.

Answer 5

Use some divergent psychology. My suggestion is to find a large biker with tattos and an earring. Have him spend the night for a couple of weeks. If your son still hasn't left the nest, try walking around the house in your undies. If THAT still doesn't work, announce that Saturdays are naked days when no clothes can be worn. He'll be gone by Friday night.

Answer 6

Sounds like he needs a dose of tough love! He is too old to be living in your home and not contributing - tell him that it is time for him to move out. If he cannot do that, tell him that unless he gets a job and starts paying rent, that you will be putting the house on the market. Doesn't he make money from his teaching position? A lot of famous musicians had jobs even as they were working on their talent.

Answer 7

So, what is so important to do with his money that he cannot help pay his share. Really there is just one thing to do and that is to let him know you don't want to afford the expense of the 2-story any longer . Put the house on the market, if he won't pay up. Who knows you may get an offer you can't refuse.. Hey it's the best thing for him as well!

Answer 8

Your family is all you have...really does your own flesh and blood cost you that much money? If it sucks trhat bad ask him to get a part time job to help out on bills. Music is a hard way to live, but a beautiful thing to bring to the world. Love your son and support him, but be honest and tell him you need him to help out a little....if he says no then he is just a jerk.

Answer 9

<>First off, he should move out at 25. If he doesn't move out, start charging him rent, and I don't mean a token amount. Tell him you want, say, 25% of his monthly income. If he doesn't pay it, show him the door. Only an inconsiderate, useless, lout would refuse to pay rent to live someplace, not to mention the services he's getting- meals, laundry, utilities. Oh yeah- start charging him for his share of the utilities, too. He'll either pay or go. Etierh way- you win!

Answer 10

you need better boundaries...sit him down and give him a deadline in which to move out, or he'll be there the rest of his life. he can find a roommate. or, if you insist on keeping him dependent upon you, tell him you are like a roommate, and he is not paying his fair share...draw up a contract and have him sign it. you have to be assertive and follow through. if there are just the 2 of you, he should be paying 50% of the household bills and groceries. your job as a parent is to raise a responsible adult--not to make his struggles easier. best of luck with this.