What do I do if I feel older than my real age?

Question

I'm 19, but I feel older than my age. I don't have a lot in common with people my age and at my college. It could be the college where I'm at (which is why I'm transferring), but just in general, they like movies I think are stupid, and all people my age talk about are designer clothes, their drunken escapades, and just superficial things. I know I sound stuck up and I know I'm making a huge generalization here, and these are not my intentions at all. I just feel more comfortable around older people, people who have been around and care about the environment and philanthropy. Why is my generation so shallow and into material things?? I don't want to feel this way. I want to be able to hang out with kids my age, but at the same time I don't believe in a lot of things they do and think. What should I do?

I also should mention I like guys who are, like, at least 7 years older...which is bad because I don't know where to look for older men...

And thank you all for your advice! I appreciate it!

Answer 1

its absolutely ok to feel for someone older then u...may be its yr upbringing which makes u feel tht way...its good tht way..although u seem to missed yr growin up yrs..and dun seem to have yr own escapades..i wudnt really call it shallow wil call it the growin up years..everyone goes thru it matures becomes responsible and lives life..:) thts how life is..the difference here is tht u r jus making the progression quicker..wht u see now is things wht probably u shud see when u r 24...and am sure u get tht when ppl around u are surprised at u being 19..:)..and thts why u feel for older people coz u relate yr self to tht level of thinkin which in layman terms is called maturity..u may not think abt drinkin away at a party but u wud probably want to chillout there..yr not lookin at fun in yr life..yr lookin at joy..hope yr gettin the difference..congrats girl u r jus growin up faster then u should it happens very rarely..i can relate to u..coz i feel the same..i am 21..:) and am sure u dint realise this with the way i spoke..:)..well as for havin a likin for 7 yr older man thts alrite..positive abt it is tht yr ego's and thinkin wil have a lil gap and hence wont clash..negative abt it..is tht u wont relate much as much as u wud relate to some about 4 or 5 yrs older..:)..and with ppl yr age u wil jus feel all to dumb and feel tht wht a waste these guys r..bottom line yr fine and goin on right track of life..:)..progression is the key...if u feel wht i say is wht convinces u pls do mark it a best answer..tc..

Answer 2

I bet there are several individuals having the same thoughts as you. Your generation has been so bombarded with commercialism, that it tends to follow the trend on cable like so much social cattle.

I'm sure there are people in that group that feel the same way you do, but they are overcome by the " group mind ". That is to say, they want to fit in and be accepted.

Try this: Every once in a while, through a subject into the group conversation and see if anyone bites. Even if they don't openly, the ones that are like you will remember you, and try to seek you out.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Trust me, a lot of people feel the same way like you. It's probably because you spent time thinking, thinking helps you realize things and makes you more mature. Well, the it's a good thing that you care about the environment and all, the world needs people like you.

Well, you must feel guarded in some way when you're with your friends. You are a 19 year old, you have what the other 19 year olds have, you have dreams like theirs, it's just that you know not to live your dreams, you know the consequences. You feel as though if you let go of the control you have, you'll make mistakes. And nobody wants to make mistakes they know are mistakes. I think you should relax and try to see the good in things, they must like the things for a reason, if you still don't like the things, then you have a different taste, try looking for people who have tastes like you.

Anyway, you don't need to have similar tastes to be friends, try to make friends happy, don't forget to be happy yourself. Hang around with people you feel comfortable with if you don't feel like hanging out with your friends.

Answer 4

here are my 10 quick tips for staying as young as possible, or at least deluding yourself that you are a kid again for a few moments in time:

1. Get ridiculously fit.
2. Work on your sense of humor.
3. Do something really wacky, but harmless.
4. Sleep Well.
5. Eat Healthy.
6. Keep your cool.
7. Stay active.
8. Have Loving, Supportive, and Positive Relationships
9. Think positive.
10. Love yourself.

Work on your self-image and self-esteem issues. Don't compare yourself to others, and avoid being too critical about your appearance.

Answer 5

You are not stuck up. You can see things as they are. You are lucky really. There will come a time, when those your age may come to regret their actions. You, at least, will not have to regret your actions.

30 odd years ago, when I was your age, I saw the same thing. Those my age, wanted to get drunk, the men talked about football all the time, were more interested in who could chug the most beer, who they bedded, the women were interested in clothing and sex.

I guess there is no change in the world.

Just be yourself. They will eventually catch up with you.

Answer 6

Join clubs and organizations that you mentioned (environmental, etc.). There you'll meet people you feel a stronger kinship with. Eventually your less mature peers will catch up with you, probably when they graduate and face the real world for a little while.

Some people are just precocious. I always felt this way too. as a kid, I remember sitting in the car frustrated with a bunch of my friends who were in the back of the van making tons of noise. I had my head on my elbow, thinking "I can't wait to be grown-up so I don't have to put up with this !@#$% crap."

Good luck

Answer 7

You do NOT sound stuck up at all!
Be proud of yourself. I was like you when I was younger too and I always felt isolated and alienated as a result. But the fact that you care about the things you do is a gift, so cherish it and be grateful. It doesn't mean you feel older-what you feel is awareness and consciousness-and are fortunate to be awake at your age!!!!!

Answer 8

Oh jeez, Welcome to the club, I never really felt part of the group, the cliques and groups of high school and even college. Heck, Im only 25 and I prefer to be in the company of elders, except for a few special people of course.

You have just evolved as a person, most people go through an entire life without this epiphany, good for you kiddo! :)

Answer 9

There are others like you. Seek them out. Form an underground network of tunnels. You'll be safe there. Don't despair.

That's what I did. I just sit down here, watching cancelled TV shows and listening to post-modern rock, all with an unshakable sense of superiority.

Whatever you do, don't trust any older "philanthropists." That's date-rape waiting to happen.

Answer 10

It sounds like you were raised in a better family and you should not give up on society just yet. Although it looks dire, there are good people like you out there, so just keep a good look out and you just might find them.