My husband of 13 years divorced me last year, it was a heart breaking experience for me and it has taken me most of this past year to work on getting over it. Last week, out of the clear blue sky I met a man that just captured my attention. We chatted for about an hour and have been visiting on the phone and had a couple of dates and it has been wonderful. Problem, I am a professional person and my children who are grown, and my other family will never think this guy is good enough for me and would never accept him - what do you do, just go for it for the sake of being happy again or try and understand their feelings? thanks
2006-12-20 19:00:46 · 14 answers · asked by a_cervantez05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i married him. after a while they got the chance to know him and realized he was perfect for me. my mom is goign through the same thing woth my step-dad. my father died a while back and she has moved on. she got married 6 months ago to her therapist. teh other kids have no clue she only told me because i accept and like him. he's cool. good luck honey
2006-12-20 19:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!! You are a woman of the world and have a career with grown children--you pay your own bills make your own decisions--and yet you are worried about what others (family or not) will think about your personal happiness??? Are you kidding ME??? How dare they even raise a brow to your choice of happiness--If this man is kind and say maybe not what a super business man but makes an honest living and he is of mannered and good to you--then what--he is not a multi millionaire with a big boat and a huge house --but has the manners of a pig and treats you bad--oh that's better because he is of status??? First of all if your "OTHER" family is so shallow then I would stick with the nice guy and forget the others--let them snob hob with the other snob hobs--They need to be accepting of your feelings and judgments --Tell them this --unless you want to take care of my every need then you need leave my personal business alone too--But it sounds like you too are a tad bit undone by this REALLY nice mans social level maybe wishing he were maybe up to your standards a bit more?? No?? Then stick up for him and be proud that you found each other--
2006-12-21 03:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left out the most important detail, which any good answer to this question would inevitably hinge on....
WHY would they never accept him?
Is their reason a substantial one, or petty? Personal or practical?
Share this reason with us if you don't want to hear the answer I've got for you so far.....
which is: Don't drive family away over a potential lover. Your family should provide the most important input you could ever get on such an ordeal. They more than likely have your best interests at heart, and family do tend to keep things in perspective when that pitter-patting heart is ignoring some glaring issues.
Want a better answer? Please tell us more.
And good luck!
Jack
2006-12-21 03:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by JakCannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first u must get to know that guy first. b4 deciding to marry him. i knew that feelings since i also separated from my husband. and i had a bf right now too which in fact same as situation as yours but i didn't stop until my family beginning to accept him. but the poit here is u must try to think million time if that might be the great guy for u..there were many guys on internet anytime u can replace him but the family never right? and u said that the kids were grow up so im sure they will understand u and respect ur decision as well.. even ur professional u deserve to be happy..so the decision is yours...
2006-12-21 03:22:42 · answer #4 · answered by ms_wholehearted 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are at a point in life where you can enjoy.
Just follow your instincts.
Family does love you and want whats best for you but in the end
it is your life. After all in the end it is the pursuit of happiness we
all want to be happy. Don't give him up for them. Do what makes
you happy. Just be careful its not out of loneliness that you accept him. Hope you both have something in common worth
the backlash you may recieve from family members.
Go with it see what happens. Happy Holidays.
2006-12-21 03:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by jane m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are grown up and have their own lives. You are entitled to your own fun. You was in a relationship with a person who your family thought was good enough and he divorced you, so they should not judge your new partner until they have got to know him. You've only been out on a couple of dates, you're not planning a wedding, so go out, have fun and enjoy yourself, if only to get yourself back in the dating circle. I hope this works out for you.
2006-12-21 03:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's too early to ask that question. You've only known this guy for a week - which means that you don't know him at all. Take a lot of time - and I mean a lot of time - to get to know him, and if you eventually find that he's the guy for you, THEN it's worth starting a battle with your family over your right to make your own decisions.
2006-12-21 03:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are independent/happy enough, do what you think is good/right. It"s just impossible to make everyone happy at the same time.
2006-12-21 03:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say go for it your happiness is what counts you don't want to live your life wondering what could have been.I'm not saying to just forget about your families feelings but you have to be able to put your self first.if your happy they should respect you and your wishes to be with this man.good luck and i hope everything turns out ok.
2006-12-21 03:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by boricua_queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please just go with your happiness. Not what your family thinks of him or your relationship! If this man truly makes you happy, then don't let anyone else ruin it for you!! Afterall it is your life, not theirs!
I know it is difficult as you want to please your family. But really it is their problem if they have one!
Take care! :o)
2006-12-21 03:09:57 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋