If one spouse isn't interested in sexual relations anymore, does the other spouse have to just remain celibate

Question

and not have sex for the rest of their life? That part isn't in the marriage vows is it?

just to add--a priest takes a vow of celibacy, not a married person. And the sharing of love through a sexual relationship is an essential part of a healthy marriage. The withholding of that part of a relationship is not part of the deal. So to those who just say, tough luck, you have to be celibate, please explain in more detail

divorce is not an option and that constitutes adultery anyway, so don't just say divorce. Tell me realistically--do I have to be celibate for 30-40 more years????

Answer 1

That's a difficult situation - one I would not want to be in. I'd try to find out the reason the spouse does not want to be intimate. Is the spouse willing to go to counseling? There may be a medical reason why she is not up to it.. or maybe she's just angry or has resentment that can be worked out in counseling. I don't think it's healthy for an individual to have no sex drive. And she should try to be understanding of her partner. It puts the other partner in a very difficult and frustrating situation.

Answer 2

I have a friend who for the past 15 years (maybe more!) has not had sex because her husband is a alcoholic and can't get it up. When she told me this was happening several years ago, she was contemplating having an affair since he was not going to give up the alcohol. Her and I have not talked about this for many years but in what little she says, she has given up the fact that he is a selfish person who thinks just because he can't or will not means he is not about to do anything to satisfy her. I think that is the most cruel thing to do to someone you say you love. At what point does a person ask God, "what more can I do?" This man is not going to go to counseling especially because so much time of his selfishness has gone by. I know for a fact this friend has not committed adultry. She was in her early 40's and now mid 50's with not any sex. I would say her husband is not fullfilling his end of the marriage vows. What do you think?

Answer 3

It sounds like someone isn't into the marraige. Sex is part of being married and if one person doesn't want it but the other does, then some sort of a compromise should be reached. Maybe the spouse who doesn't want relations is saying that kinda as a cry out that something else is wrong in the relationship but doesn't know how to bring it up. Maybe even its the first sign that someone wants a divorce.

Answer 4

YES! Kudo's to you for taking the time to ask the question before bedhopping. However, in a marriage the man or the woman's body does not belong to them. I'll say this is cause for investigation. Is there a medical problem? Let's check it out. If there is no medical problem, Either way, we need to talk. Just someone saying that they wish not to have sex with you again, is unacceptable, unfair and in clear violation of marriage. Read the new testament in the holy bible (King James version). I wish I knew the scripture. But, it's there. Ask a local pastor in your neighborhood church. They will find it for you. Counseling would definitely be in order (prefferably from the church).

Answer 5

You have an obligation to her but she also has an obligation to you. I know very well what you are going through. My wife didn't understand the problem until I put it in terms that she could understand.

I asked her "what if I said I was perfectly happy being married to you but I didn't want to eat meals with you anymore. We will cook dinner like normal but then I will take my plate into the living room and turn on the TV. Would that be acceptable to you?"

And I asked "what if I said I was perfectly happy being married to you but I want to sleep in separate bedrooms? Would that be acceptable?"

When she agreed that these would not be acceptable I was able to make her see what she was doing to me. After that we got a marriage counsoler to help us work out the details.

Good luck

Answer 6

Do you think God really cares if you're horny? Yes, he does!
He wrote the marriage vows gig and I'm pretty sure he wants us to divorce this person before we commit adultery and potentially condemn ourselves...(if thine eye offend thee pluck it out, better to go to heaven with one eye than to go to hell with both).
So, guess what? you have a difficult decision make. Do you stay and commit adultery or do you divorce this person, stay friends and find a new relationship that will fulfill your needs and allow you to stay true to your belief system?
I hope this brought some light to your problem, Good Luck.

Answer 7

yes because you love her. but make sure she knows how you feel about it and that you are willing to Waite for her. when i was pregnant i wasn't interested in sex at all so he told me he would Waite as long as it took but i did give him naked pictures to masturbate with so tell your wife you need some naked pictures of her so you can pleasure your self in till she is ready to pleasure you. if she says no tell her that you will get some porn then, if you need you can invest in a pocket pussy just make sure she knows your doing it first and is OK with it, but don't cheat there maybe some big reason she don't want it (depression, stress, could she be pregnant?) if you think that is not the case i would hire a privet investigator to follow her and make sure she not cheating, if she is leave her then find someone new. but if you love her don't cheat. good luck.

Answer 8

(1 Corinthians 7:3-4) 3 Let the husband render to [his] wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to [her] husband. 4 The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does. Marriage partners should not selfishly do as it individually suits them or satisfies them, but should be pleasing and satisfying to each other. They should not deprive each other of the marriage due unless both parties agree to refrain for a period of time in the interest of spiritual matters. Paul wrote: "Do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-regulation."-1 Cor. 7:5.

Answer 9

It is your spouse's duty to have sex! It is part of marriage. It's either cheat or divorce. That is if she never wants it again. I think most women go thru phases?

Answer 10

Well, of course it is. For better or for worse applies here, but what really hits the nail on the head is the part that goes "forsaking all others as long as you both shall live."