Ok. I will give in to "gender based roles", as long as it is a fair thing.
I am a newlywed, so this is a bit new to me. My wife expects me to spend 3 to 5 hours a week taking care of the yard and maintaining the outdoor stuff because she says that she can't do it, and she basically refuses to learn.
So is it sexist of me to demand that she do the dishes? She had me put up all of the Christmas lights outside, which was an all day thing. Can I ask her to put up the entire Christmas tree?
It seems that, in the younger generation, women are wanting equality in marriage (which is great and I am all for), but they are still wanting their men to do all of the "manly things", but they will get pissed if you asked them to do the vacuuming.
What is fair here? Why do I have to put out more work. We don't have kids. But I do half of the indoor chores as well as all of the outdoor chores.
2006-12-20 17:11:44 · 17 answers · asked by cornercuttin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
lol I like your argument. It is so true, isn't it? Feminism didn't do much, but that's a different debate. I think you two need to lay out ground rules. Perhaps she's adjusting too and simply doesn't realize just how much work you do and how you mind she doesn't do her share. Honestly tons of problems such as yours blossom into much bigger ones just because the couples don't communicate. You two need to discuss this and come to some sort of understanding. Just tell her you do the outdoor work, help inside, etc, and that it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to do the dishes. Divide tasks... make up some sort of plan. I'm sure she won't shut you out completely if you approach this maturely and in a fashion that will get this solved rather than starting a big argument. Good luck
2006-12-20 17:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always been an independent woman, of course i had plenty of male friends that have helped me with my car and plumbing and stuff like that. When i got married i did expect my husband to take over those things and he did, but i think it will be normal for a woman to do the house work too. Like for ex.im not currently working and i cook and do dishes all week when my husband is at work , on the weekends he gets the dishes. And when i work 7 days a week and my husband was working only 4 he got to do everything at home , and i got to clean the porch once a month. I think is all relative, there are some obvious (to me) things that i will let my husbby do just because men know best how to do it but i will never let him cook just because i like my food better. He does better laundry than i do so he gets to do it, he likes that. I think thats fair. Good luck
2006-12-20 17:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by Alex P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a young and married also. I think that your wife needs to cut you a break somewhere. I do all the household chores and my husband does all the "manly" things. However, I do have to say that household chores take longer and are more involved. My husband has been known from time to time to do the laundry but that is it. I think that women my age have to learn that if you want things to be equal and not gender set then they cant just do housework they need to get their hands dirty and cut grass. To be fair? who knows. I am sure you know this but women change their mind all the time. just tell her that if you do dishes and sweep then she should do yard work and if she says she cant do yard work then say you cant do dishes.
hope this helps
2006-12-20 17:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by daisyhuff4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you that you are already having problems. A real man would do whatever he could to please his wife and make her happy. A marriage is not about who does the most chores. You are complaining already and you are a newlywed. It will only get worse for you. My hubby and I share responsibilities and if I don't feel like doing something, he does it and vice versa. It is all about give and take. If she weren't doing anything at all, then I would worry. But come on, are you afraid to ask her to do the dishes? If so, I feel sorry for you and your wife.
2006-12-20 17:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try saying it as a joke.....like "ok and while Im outside make sure you get those dishes done women" then come inside and if she's not doing anything say did you wanna learn how to do this outside or did you wanna stay inside and clean in here? That should work
2006-12-20 17:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by the_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she should do the dishes! If she expects manly duties of you then you should expect womanly duties of her. Don't be a dick about it but she shouldn't be a ***** about it either. You should both put up the christmas tree though. You do the part where you put the tree 'up' and help her put up the lights. She decorates the tree by herself if you don't feel up to it but you should sit in the same room and talk to her.
2006-12-20 17:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by Lexi Lexington 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her do the dishes..My man does the yard so he said I have to do the dishes and house things. Is she just being lazy.
2006-12-20 17:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by little donsie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you expect her to do the dishes without b*tching, then mow the lawn with moaning.
If she TELLS you to do the lawn, then TELL her to do the dishes. Only fair, isn't it?
YES Tell her.
2006-12-20 17:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kesta♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked 40 hours a week while going to school. Get a job and become more responsible you lazy slob.
2016-05-23 03:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key. Offer to do what she asks/expects of you if she will do what you ask of her. Compromise for mutual satisfaction.
2006-12-20 17:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋