problem for myself? If he moves the kid in against my wishes I will have to evict him..Will it be harder if the kid is here also, even though I said the kid cannot move in? I am trying to be reasonable. I own the house. The kid is unstable and I am scared for MY safety to have him live here, to make a long story short. Kid is 12 with learning and emotional problems. If he moves the kid in can I call someone else in my BF's famly to come get the kid?I dont want to be charged with child endangerment for putting them out.I overheard a phone conversation where my bf said"I will move him in here and see what happens, if it dosent work out I will move out"I dont know if the kid is being abused my the mother or not, the story changes every time I ask my BF about it.First, she abuses him, then she lets do whatever he wants. This is turning into such a pile of sh*t that I have stepped into.I think he might be trying to guilt me into saying yes he can move in. No, it WONT work
2006-12-20 15:13:47 · 21 answers · asked by eastcoastdebra 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I wont have any problem tossing this kid out. He is rude, arrogant,lazy,selfish,dosent shower with soap just rinses off, NO MANNERS whatsoever,ignores me when I talk to him, etc.
2006-12-20 15:21:23 · update #1
sorry but I dont like the kid. He has been verbally and physically agressive towards me, and is truly the most self centered person I have ever met.
2006-12-20 15:23:17 · update #2
I am a "selfish twit" because I do not want a violent kid living in my house? Give me a F---ing break.
2006-12-20 15:35:03 · update #3
Tell your boyfriend that he has to find a place of his own. As a father he has serious responsibilities to take care of that child, and it's simply not an option for him to force the kid to stay somewhere that isn't safe. You either accept that fact or move on.
You shouldn't be forced into a situation you aren't comfortable with. It's your home, just tell your boyfriend to leave. It doesn't sound like it was ever going to work out anyway. You simply cannot be with somebody who has a child and not accept it into your life. :-/
2006-12-20 15:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by Butterscotch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading some of the responses that you have received and your delima, I would have to agree with most of the things that have been said, but I would go about it a little differently.
First I would sit down with the BF and tell him that you don't think that this is going to work out. You don't think that you can handle having a 12 year old son who doesn't respect you and your home. If you love him, tell him that you love him, but think that it would be better if you weren't seeing each other any more.
It might be the more subtle way of breaking up with the man and getting rid of his rude kid. Nobody should have to put up with anybody that is rude or mean to them in their own house, I know that I won't take it from my kids or anybody elses kids.
It is your house and even though you may love your BF, it would probably be best if you broke up so you won't have fights later on.
Good luck.
2006-12-20 15:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Joel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THE KID? MY B/F?
The child is 12 years old, at this age of course they are rude, and such n such, you need to make some changes.
I am sure you knew of the child when you took his daddy on as your live in, do you think you could seperate them? you own the house but this is o a messy situation your being backed into a corner, although YOU could lossen up and actually try, rudenees meets rudeness, treat others as you would like to be treated, if someone called me THE KID i would give it to them, Show some respect, talk to the child, dont suspect abuse, YOUR part of the problem, by not helping the child, it is a socail resposiblity to help any child who could be Endangered by an adult. YOUR leaving AND condoning he stays in an abusive home.
My the child does not know better step up and guide him, it wont be easy as parenthood never is, BUT the rewards speak for themselves. Dont judge unless you wish to be Judged!?!?!
2006-12-20 15:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by disturbedxxcalmness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you allow the kid to move in, it will be one of the biggest mistakes you ever make in your life...........It is none of your business what his mother has or not done to him. The boy does not belong to you and he is not your responsibility.
You are not married to this guy so you don't have any responsibility to him either. You own the house and his name is not on it. He has nothing to say about who lives there and who does not live there.
Confront your BF as soon as possible and discuss what he is thinking. Be firm with him that you don't want the son to move in.
Be honest with him and tell him the whole truth. If you don't tell him the truth, it will come back to haunt you. DON'T ALLOW THE KID TO MOVE IN. It will become your worst nightmare.
If your BF is going to have the kid in his custody I would suggest they find another place to live in order to spend prime time together. A boy with his problems needs dad to himself for awhile. You can still date, but for now his son needs him more.
HOW does that sound? You are not being mean and you are not lying. And it still leaves the door open for you and him.
I just read your details. WHY would you even consider allowing the kid to move in?? Your home would be taken over by both of them because your boyfriend is going to side in with the kid, not you........Everyone's home is their safe haven. Don't let these two take that away from you...........
2006-12-20 15:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not saying that you are being unfair, but the way you refer to the son as the kid makes me think you don't like him at all. He is your boyfriend's son and will not go away just because he is not living with you. If you love and care for your boyfriend why aren't you willing to accept his child and try to help him? Maybe he is unstable because he has no stability in his life. This is an opportunity for you to provide that for him. Half the kids I deal with would be totally different given a normal home life. Please try and look past your own worries, you have a chance to make a difference in a child's life!
2006-12-20 15:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by thrill88 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My opinion, your boyfriend is the problem. His kid can't move in without his father, your boyfriend. His stories change so it doesn't sound you have a stable relationship with him. If you said no, then its no. Its your house. You have a right to say no. If your boyfriend leaves, then he really isn't worth it.
2015-01-26 07:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by Hot Bunnie in the City 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you're coming from - but at the same time, I don't understand why you would call this boy, "the kid" - not that it makes a difference - but why is this guy your boyfriend if you don't like his kid? If there's to be any future with you and the boyfriend you have to get a long with the son...
At any rate - if you don't want the kid, you can't have the boyfriend - tell him he has to move out.
2006-12-20 15:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by karespromise 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with this guy. You're no good for him if you don't like his kid. Sorry huney, but the kid is a package deal, and you're a selfish twit if you don't cut this guy loose, so he can find someone whom will accept him AND his kid. Yes, it sucks to be dumped, but you'll be helping him in the long run, because being with someone whom despises his kid sucks even more!
2006-12-20 15:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
TRY a novel approach to this and discuss it with him before you are backed into a corner and forced into making a tough call .
Kids are like puppies and kittens once they come in the door it is hard to toss them out .
2006-12-20 15:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by -----JAFO---- 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not let them move in to begin with, first of all it is his kid so his kid means more to him than you the same way if you had a kid and it was his house, would you not put the welfare of your kid before your boyfriends? end this before it escalates..if you know he will move the kid in and obviously it will nto work out, according to you, so tell him you do not think it will work out, and get him out beofre he has the opportunity to move his kid in
2006-12-20 15:25:32 · answer #10 · answered by sevenout7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋