When I was still dating my husband his mother lost her home. His brother and sister decided she would live with him "temporarily" This lasted well over 2 years. When hubby and I decided we would live at my place after getting married we made plans to move and attempted to let his family know. No one answered our many phone calls. The entire family was well aware of when the wedding date was and that the apt. my husband lived in was not big enough for 2 people let alone 3. So we made plans to move. We came home to an empty apt. one evening. His mother had moved out leaving behind a cat and no forwarding address. We still got no feed back from his family. Approximately 1 month later my husband called his brother to discuss him being best man, instead sis-in-law got on the phone and cursed my husband and said he "abandoned" his mother. Now we get a Christmas card with an apolgy what should we do I'm still bitter because they blew off the wedding and hurt my hubby.
2006-12-20 15:08:48 · 9 answers · asked by older and wiser 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all how are they gonna be mad at him for "abandoning " his mother when they obviously didn't want her either. At least he did what he could for as long as he could. You should let them know that the way they acted was VERY childish and just let them know that it hurt that they weren't part of the biggest day of both of your life's.
2006-12-20 15:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by none 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people can get really weird when it comes to weddings & holidays. My husband's mother ruined our wedding and is now trying to make up with me. My father (who physically abused me & never once said he loved me when I was growing up and whom I did not invite to the wedding) sent me a Christmas card signed "I still love you, Dad". I don't even know how he got my address!!
My point... people think "family" around the holidays and reflect on the year past. If there's any chance of repairing your relationship, you should give it a shot. When your husband talks to his family, he must not show anger. He should sit them down & tell them how their behavior hurt both of you. Hug & make up. I'm sure it wasn't easy for them to send that card. Take the hand they are stretching out. Your husband will feel better having a relationship with his mom than holding a grudge.
2006-12-20 15:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They hurt you bad, but it seems they see the wrong in what they did. But an apology in a Christmas card just isn't going to cut it, and maybe you and your husband (definately together) should say so.
Not that you're throwing it back in their face, but just say it's going to take more dialogue than a Hallmark moment to allow for healing to take place. There's no way to understand if they're just saying it or if true contrition has taken place until something is done in person, and frankly, while they should be forgiven, they shouldn't necessarily be let off the hook that easily.
2006-12-20 15:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since it's Christmas, dont you think that you should forgive and forget. Afterall an apology is made and you are all family. This is the time where we reflect on the past and make new resolutions to be nice and friendly to everyone.
It;s family, think about it.
Good luck
2006-12-20 15:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is important and should be saved if possible.
It's time for a big old family sitting at the kitchen table talk.
They need to put everything on the table and clear the air.
You should be there for support for your husband but you should stay out of it.....it's his family.
2006-12-20 15:19:40 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Suck it up. Yea, I know, you don't want to. But they did say they were sorry, that is the first step. Don't say your sorry if your not, no reason to lie. Just say you accept their apology, and send them a nice gift. Perhaps some specialty candles or fruit of the month club.
2006-12-20 15:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, try to keep the peace, but just be careful about trusting them, they have already proven once that they are capable of being uncooperative and secretive, so just be aware.
2006-12-20 15:17:28 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your husband, not his family. Please don't hold up your life and your happiness waiting for the blessings of your in-laws. I love my in-laws but if they never speak or show their approval of our actions, then so be it!
2006-12-20 15:15:10 · answer #8 · answered by Papa-Yogi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your distance from them, they have problems....big problems and the one thing you don't want to do is have any involvement with this.
2006-12-20 15:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋