My husband works 13 hours a day every day. I am 9 months pregnant due any day and he is to tired and grumpy to even talk to me. I am so depressed and lonely. I don't know what to do. I pour my whole heart out to him crying my eyes out and he just falls asleep while im talking. He won't have sex with me and every time I try to talk to him he just tells me I am annoying him. What do I do? How can I make him love me like he used to?
2006-12-20 14:46:51 · 15 answers · asked by I_Can_Help 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He makes plenty of money he makes 17 dollars and hour and works 7 days a week and 13 hours a day. We have plenty of money. Thats not the problem.
2006-12-20 14:52:24 · update #1
He chooses to work that much. And all he does is tell people what to do and drive them around a chemical plant.
2006-12-20 14:53:58 · update #2
I have tried to get him to take a day off from work, but he is a work aholic. If he is not working he is running around trying to find some thing to do. He just is one of thoughs peopel that keeps himself busy all the time. When his job lets him have a day off he will fill in for someone else. Then he comes home tired and says he doesn't think he is going to live that long. It really upsets. me. I miss him so much and just want my little girl to have her father around. NOt one of thoughs dads that work all the time.
2006-12-20 15:12:43 · update #3
I have tried to get him to take a day off from work, but he is a work aholic. If he is not working he is running around trying to find some thing to do. He just is one of thoughs peopel that keeps himself busy all the time. When his job lets him have a day off he will fill in for someone else. Then he comes home tired and says he doesn't think he is going to live that long. It really upsets. me. I miss him so much and just want my little girl to have her father around. NOt one of thoughs dads that work all the time.
2006-12-20 15:12:45 · update #4
He has 2 kids from a previous marriage and we have full custody of both of them. I take care of them.
2006-12-20 19:05:15 · update #5
He has 2 kids from a previous marriage and we have full custody of both of them. I take care of them.
2006-12-20 19:05:19 · update #6
I rather have him around than his money. He always is so proud of it and I hate it for the fact that he is just one of those people that can't get enough money. He doesn't have to work that much he chooses to.He loves to work and loves his money. When he is not working he is misurable no matter what I do. I rather be broke and have him than him work at this stupid chemical plant. By the way he works at the BP plant that blew up a couple of years ago. So that also worries me.
2006-12-20 19:09:42 · update #7
We are already financially set for the baby to come. That is not a worry.
2006-12-20 19:11:02 · update #8
Give him a little time...I am sure he is stressing about the baby and money. Wait till the baby comes I am sure he will change his attitude_
2006-12-20 14:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this his first child? He might be afraid of many things. Being a good provider, what his new role as "dad" will demand of him, if he will be capable of being a good parent...
All those hours of work are making him tired and fatigue on top of fatigue can make one really cranky. Being tired disrupts the bodies ability to function and this includes thoughts and emotions.
With your due date close, I'm sure you have worries and the fact that he is struggling and unable to support you makes them worse.
You are both about to face a huge change in your life and it sounds like you have lots of things that aren't getting discussed. When your child is born, it's going to be an incredible experience and it could very well bring you both back to the reason why you created that baby...love.
I wish you all the best.
2006-12-21 01:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by scorpio1913 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is actually fairly common. It probably started a few months after you became pregnant.
He probably started working more.
Became grumpy
Stressed.
As women go through phases during pregnancy so do men.
Now there will be another to support. Even though he probably won't admit it, now he feels the increased responsibility to be a better provider, your perception of enough money is not see through the eyes of the one who actually has to make it. Especially if you didn't work before and have no plans to work after. There is the FEAR that the family won't be provided for. That type of Fear is very debilitating to men.
Pouring your heart out and crying will only add to the burden he feels. I'm not saying don't talk to him but are you adding more of a "load" to his feeling of responsibility. He might be thinking "oh great, not only do i have to carry the entire financial responsibility but i have to carry her entire emotional break down."
Make sense to you now, or he could just be an @ss.
2006-12-21 00:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by hogie0101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to take some time off from work if you can afford it or not. If he's working 7 days a week,that's 91 hours working.
If he's not having sex with you it is because 1: he's just too tired 2:he's afraid he might hurt you or the baby.
You need to get him to slow down,before he works himself into a poor health state or worse. Talk to your doctor,your priest or minister if you go to church.
I have to wonder why he is working so many hours to begin with and I don't think you'll ever get him to love you the way he used to as long as he continues to work so many hours.
You need to take care of yourself and the baby now,with or without your husband's help.
2006-12-20 23:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Ralph T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he doesn't act like this because he doesn't love you. It really sounds like he is just exhausted and wants to sleep or relax when he gets home. Also you are pregnant and due any day. He is probably stressed out and excited about the new arrival soon. I think your hormones may be a little out of whack right now and you are probably more sensitive because you're about to give birth. Wait till after the baby is born to see how your husband responds to you. It may be really different after the baby comes.
2006-12-20 22:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Andrea D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to support you and the baby. He is working all those hours so you can afford the things you need. You have hormones raging out of control. You need moral support. Things won't get any easier when the baby comes. You need to find a way to work this out between the two of you. Are you willing to get by on less money so he doesn't work so many hours?
2006-12-20 22:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does love you. Did you cry all the time before when u said he used to love u? Guys cannot handle emotion like that, they do not know what to say or do.Sex will come back later, with some, they are to worried they will harm the baby, which they won't, but... Get out more and do happy things!!!!!!
2006-12-20 22:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We need money to survive and live better,but money can not buy love or happiness.I am sorry what happen to you.What you can do is talk with yahoo.friends,as you are doing right now.Also you can talk with your friends or family.I think you husband is thinking that he is doing the best for you: giving you a good life with not financial problems.He is right,but he need to take care about you and your coming baby.Try to do what I tell you.Give your husband time,maybe he will change when the baby will born.But for now try to be yourself happy,smile,watch TV,read some book you like,listen music you want,watch a good movie,visit your family,play some instrument,sing a song,dancing,etc.About sex,yes is a tough situation,try to talk with him again.Good luck.
2006-12-20 23:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's normal to be depressed when your hormones are going crazy. you've got to tell him flat out that you're goint to be annoying for a while because you're pregnant and emotional and that you really need him to be there for you. it's gonna be hard not to act too needy, but try to keep yourself busy and not focus on the pain and crankiness you've got. get excited about having a new baby! decorate a room or something... good luck.
2006-12-20 22:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's tired and exhausted and need time to himself. Let him know you are lonely as well and ask him if he wants to work on your marriage
2006-12-20 22:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋