Boyfriend of 5 years. We have known and been best friends for almost 10 years. I left her 8 years ago before we got married because I didnt think i was good enough for her..I wanted her to have someone better. We stayed friends over the years and never stopped loving each other. She has been in a relationship with a "boy" now for 5 years. They have 2 children. He will not marry her or take care of her or the children. He has cheated on her, left her numerous times, and even got another gril pregnant while they were together and I'm the one she always comes to for a sholder to cry on. Yet she is still with him. I asked her to leave him and marry me and she says she wants to and she will, but ive been waiting over a year. She promised me we will be together and married by next christmas. Her children love me and I take care of her and them even though she is with him. I love her with all my heart and would do anything for her, but it hurts not knowing. How long should I wait, am i crazy?
2006-12-20 14:39:27 · 9 answers · asked by Shaun F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not sleeping with her or having any phsyical contact with her other than hugs and kisses on the cheek or forhead...i respect the fact she is in a relationship..i wouldnt want her to cheat on me, how would it be right if me and her cheated behind his back.
2006-12-20 16:36:11 · update #1
You should have never waited. Cut your loses move on. Don't ever wait for someone to do what they should have done yesterday. Tomorrow isn't promise move on.
2006-12-20 14:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by naya w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left her because you didn't think you were good enough for her? C'mon....be honest. People don't do that in real life. Anyway, she finds this loser and it makes you happy because he's "better." Five years later, you want to rescue her from this louse. If she knows all that he is and still won't leave him, you're being played on a string my friend. You need to ask her point blank why she hasn't walked away from his cheating, birth out of wedlock, etc.
Perhaps she enjoys the sympathy she's receiving while being married to this person. I think she doesn't love you, just sees you as a good friend. You can't make her love you....no matter how her children feel towards you
Good luck
2006-12-20 14:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by stretch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left her the first time because you didn't feel good enough, despite the fact that she loved you....so you broke her heart.
Now you have the nerve to deride her marriage and try to get her to leave him? My goodness, you probably DROVE HER TO A LOSER LIKE THAT.
You're not crazy, you just plain suck. And I don't care if 20 people report me for saying that, it's the truth. You left her, she screwed up and married a louse....who are you of all people to "rescue" her?
If you want to be a man, you need to step back. For one thing, if you're supplying all this emotional support, you're only enabling her to stay in this relationship, and if she needs to get out, you're not giving her the ability to do so.
But not only that, she needs for her, not for you. She needs to work a lot of stuff out, and she'll never do it with you around. You need to back off and figure out why you're in this situation in the first place.
You dumped her, but you take care of her? That's just bizarre, man. You've got some serious work to do buddy.
Now, despite all that I've said, believe it or not, I think you have it in you to have some ultimate success here. But both you and her need to grow as individuals (and individually, not together) before something might eventually happen down the road. But stop disprespecting her decisions...first hers to want to be with you, then hers for choosing another. What it shows is that in reality, you think very little of her, that she can't survive without you.
2006-12-20 15:38:30 · answer #3 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BACK OFF! Things didn't work out before for a reason. It's just worse the second time around. Keep your nose out of her life for awhile and I bet her relationship with her boyfriend will improve.
2006-12-20 14:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It been a awful long time and you can't live on promises, I believe I'd check into this a little closer, be for I spent anymore money or feeling on this relationship
2006-12-20 14:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should hurry up & marry her before things get worse for her at her home. Pull her & the kids out of that life & take her with you where they belong! CONGRATULATIONS!
2006-12-20 14:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are...if she wanted to truly leave him she would of left him a long time ago...I think your wasting your time. I know you love her but if she loved you as much as you love her...you would be together now_
2006-12-20 14:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does nt aldultery mean anything to you???
2006-12-20 14:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give her a choice...
You or him?
Roll if she doesnt choose you!
2006-12-20 14:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by been there done that.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋