Okay, suppose you have an elderly member of the family who is like an aunt or uncle type of member. They don't have a lot of money and usually ask that you don't bother getting them anything for Christmas because they can't afford to get you anything. In fact, they can't get out to even shop or look due to disabilities or inability to drive, etc. Have you been through this? What's an appropriate gift? Do you give a gift or respect their request?
2006-12-20 14:33:00 · 19 answers · asked by achristian520 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
It is worth questioning further, as it sounds like mobility might be the problem. If so, offer to purchase the presents (they still need to pay of course).
Spending time with the person concerned as suggested above is a great idea.
2006-12-20 14:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by suzanne 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you said they don't have a lot of money, I would suggest a small gift that they won't be embarassed that they don't have anything for you - maybe they have a favorite type of cookie (if you don't know - even a gift card to their grocery store with a card instructing them to splurge on something they don't usually buy), or if they have any hobby - maybe you can get them something for that. We also give my inlaws phonecards each year, so they can call without having to worry about how expensive the calls are - and we "get away with it" but saying they are giving our kids a gift every time they call.
Don't be extravagant - but if they said they asked you not to get them something - just tell them it really isn't much - but that your favorite part of Christmas is giving - so they are letting you enjoy the holiday by taking your small gift.
2006-12-20 14:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Donna W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living that situation myself and because I have small children and there are others in the family I am getting gifts for I still get them a gift. It's a respect thing and when she (in my case) gets mad I tell her the best gift she can give me anf my family is the smile when she opend the present. I also (this year I have the extra money) so go out and buy small things for people and mark them from her. It's the best I can do, really that's all we can do is the best we can
2006-12-20 15:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by jillifly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, the Aunt. She's always buying presents or giving money for Christmas. And then she says I don't want anything. Then again, she's the giving one in the family and everybody gives her something she needs. Like last year, she says she just want socks cus she's a nurse and wears comfortable shoes to work and she got a lot of socks, and she was happy. Somebody always figure out what she needs instead of want. Like, she'll get socks and somebody got her something else she needs plus socks.
2006-12-20 15:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by abc d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect their request and DO something kind for them. It can be embrassing to get a gift from someone and you can't get them anything. Maybe after Christmas, rake their yard, wash their car, etc. Something that they may no longer be capable of doing due to their age. When you're older things don't seem to hold the importance they once did but having someone help do something is greatly appreciated. Hope this helps.
2006-12-20 14:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have - and I found that instead of going to the store and buying something, the gift of time was more appreciated.
Take them about to do the things they need to do, grocery shop for them, take them to get a haircut or styling. Fix things around the house that have been bugging them but they can't do anymore.
Make their favorite meals, put them into serving sizes and freeze them for them, so they have ready meals any time.
Just spend time visiting with them- sometimes, all they want is someone to talk to, play cards with.
2006-12-20 14:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I told my family that i didn't want presents this year but to put all my presents under the Kmart ( a shope her in aussie) wishing tree. and the homeless and needy get the presents (none of them did it) it would have been good if they did do it. so i think yeah respect his wishes.
But if you buy a present for a youngster, put it under the tree and give your elderly friend the star that you get for donating, and put it on his/her tree, than i'm sure they'd appreciate that, and so will the person who receives the present, because that could be all they're getting!
2006-12-20 14:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You deny their request by expressing your love for them anyway, you explain that to them kindly, and you give them a good book, a warm lap blanket, a nice bottle of Brandy, and a warm hug and kiss on the cheek fitted with a big smile.
2006-12-20 19:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you get a gift for that person's sake or to feel better yourself? If this person feels this way get the person nothing except a visit and a merry Christmas.
2006-12-20 15:05:37 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Bodhisattva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give something that you make. It's not really buying anything, and that way you can still show your glad that they are in your life. It's nice to make someone fill special, and people who are elderly appreciate things that you take the time to make.
2006-12-20 14:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by soh_rin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋