I am a very happily married woman but I have NO girlfriends. I just would like someone to talk to and call when I (or they) need an ear. How do I meet other women to hang out with. I have terrible anxieties but need to find women that I can relate to and just be comfortable with. I live in such a small town, I find it very difficult. It's been so long that I don't know how to even broch the subject without them thinking I'm a lesbian. How do you make friends with someone?
2006-12-20 13:39:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't have children (can't have them) and don't belong to anything so it's especially hard.
2006-12-20 13:48:38 · update #1
Get involved in a club or group like a book club or something else you enjoy. Just talk to people and gradually that turns in to friendship. I met my good friend now at school, we started talking to each other and over time developed into a great friendship.
2006-12-20 13:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by saliberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, a few questions. Does your fear of being labeled a lesbian prevent you from forming friendships? You use the words "need" and "like" more than once so I would assume that you've had this desire for some time. Secondly you mention being in a small town and being happily married. Should we assume otherwise? And is the person you really want to befriend a lesbian?
Now that I've picked your brain, let me put all the ice cream back in the bowl.
One of the benefits of being in a small town is forming bonds, especially if it's the town you spent most of your life in. Local friends are not only convenient, they're necessary. The Internet cannot replace a warm smile or hug. The person on the other end of a phone can't tell you if your new haircut looks great or if you need to ask for your money back. And only a flesh and blood friend can sit on your porch and talk about husbands while watching the sun set or cars go by.
Life is complicated and there are no easy answers. You're going to grow old and you're going to die, it's just part of life's journey. So here's the take home point. The benefit of a friend far outweighs (and outlasts) sophomoric comments and assumptions. Go find your friend.
2006-12-20 22:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ced 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leathers2, most of the answers are the same...join a group. Or, talk to strangers. Both will work. I understand your issue...you want to find someone you can talk with about intimate details and be confident the conversation won't be broadcast all over town. Tough situation if you live in a small town. Next best things seems to be the Internet...another suggestion. Go to chat groups. Check in with old friends who moved away. The Internet is an excellent way to meet people with similar interests. People have developed deep friendships...and even met and married over the Internet. You can find your answers here. Just look. And, good luck.
2006-12-20 21:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never weird to feel like you can't properly make friends.
Making friends just kind of happens, you share an interest, like the same restauraunt, or you meet at your childrens' daycare. Its just a warm feeling that you recieve from another individual, it shouldn't be a processed experience.
If theres someone, like a waitress thats always nice to you, or a hairstylist you prefer, or possibly someone you ALWAYS see at the grocery store, stop them and start a chit chat, possibly you can spark their interest. Ask a person to join you in getting coffee, or start a book club and invite familar faces to read a book once a month with you. Trust me, in no time you will find some friends. Obviously they'll know your married if you wear a ring,
Happy Friend Hunting, and Good Luck!
2006-12-20 21:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I totally relate.
You can try volunteering, join a bookgroup, take a class, any sort of group like that where you'll be surrounded by people with a similar interest. Craiglist also has a section for platonic friends--you could put up a posting describing what sort of friend you're looking for.
2006-12-20 21:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by EQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're a couple of faith so we have to pray for these types of friends. It's especially helpful if the woman friends are also happily married, not single or divorced. Otherwise, surrounding yourself with other women who are negative or cynical about marriage can subliminally undermine your own union with your husband without you realizing it so it's important to find positive friends who share the same values you do so that you can grow in your own marriage. It's very uplifting! Good luck to you!
2006-12-20 21:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by kakolikapiha 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have kids its really easy to make girlfriends, for the childless women, its a bit harder. I would join a gym, book club, or volunteer. You are bound to pick up lots of great friends and do something you enjoy.
2006-12-20 21:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm one of those people who will sometimes strike up a conversation if I am comfortable enought. Waiting for a bus or in line at a store are great ways to make friends. Don't worry, no one will think you're gay =D
2006-12-20 21:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to the big city or through the net
2006-12-20 21:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by Nubia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start joining other groups,clubs etc. On line friends are great to have too!!!!!
2006-12-20 21:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋