i cant forget my past!and i need help forgiving!!?

Question

i was beat up everyday in school when in the 1, 2,3 ,4 and,5 grades and i feel like i cant forget the people or forgive them becuz they were in the same grade as me every year how do i forgive them??? becuz i feel like its messing up my relationship swith others cuz i dont want to be hurt like that again?? help! plzz!

one reason i was beat up is that i have a hearing loss

Answer 1

"pray about it"? what kind of advice is that? what good will that do? sit back and wait for some 'higher power' to fix things for you... yeah that's one way to make sure NOTHING changes.

look dude, you are totally justified in holding that grudge. those people sound like some real bastards picking on someone with hearing loss. you don't have to forgive them, but just forget it and move on. "moving on" means don't even think about these people and if you do, only think of them in terms of what small, small people they are and how when they grow up and get into the real world, someone is going to do to them what they did to you. call it pity if you like, but simply write them off as the insignificant peons that they are. DON'T let them cause you any more grief... I do believe they have done enough.

once you do that, you might find it easier to trust others. time will also help -- what you went through was severely traumatic so don't expect things to get better overnight or even over a few years. when you get older, you'll be more confident in yourself and that will translate into feeling less and less like the new people you meet and befriend are really just going to hurt you like those others did. for now, just give it time and talk to someone about it -- therapist if you have access or school counselor or your parents or older sibling. you might be surprised how much that can help.

Answer 2

The Aniweheya Native Americans were pretty tough and unruly. Sort of bullies. They named the Osage Indians, silly goose, which is said: Osage.
They turned out very well, as did we. So you need a new story and do not concentrate on them but look forward just a little. I loved the round cheerful osage but I was a warrior for my people. I had to call the FBI when someone was terrorizing my people pretending to be FBI when the law was not law. It had no funding.
The Osage and the Cherokee (Aniweheyah) are tribes who were self determining as to what kind of Indian they were. They were 100% as who ever heard of enlightenment being diluted into blood degrees. Read Abarate by Clyde Barker.
You aren't the only person who has known terror. Mine was at home alone with my mother. I can't ever be alone with her and I love her dearly but I love living more. Write if you want to talk about it.

Answer 3

I can sort of relate to your situation--I wasn't beat up, but I was made fun of because we didn't have any money when I was growing up. You wouldn't believe some of the names I was called. People who pick on others are very insecure with themselves and want to make you feel as low as they are. You can never completely forget about the past, and it is very hard to learn to forgive others. But if you don't forgive, you are still allowing them to make your life miserable. Just keep telling yourself that what happened is not your fault. Maybe because of what happened to you as a child, you can use that to see that it doesn't happen to others. Sometimes it takes something bad in our own lives to see just how much good we can do for others. Good luck to you and may God bless you.

Answer 4

I too have a past that I would really like to forget, but for the time being I just get REVENGE by following my friend´s advice: "the best revenge is sucess!" I am married to a wonderful person (a medical doctor who provides me with everything! & I have a profitable business of my own, too) and we have a wonderful son who gives me a big hug every morning and tells me how much he loves me. Those nasty people of my past (family where I grew up) get post cards from me lounging around the pool at our country club and me in my b-day suit (slighhty covered-up) when I go to the French beaches for my summer vacations. Sucess is life's greatest revenge. Until I learn to forget.

Answer 5

When we experience hurtful things as children, it effects the way we see ourselves and it is hard to move on. Try to look at people as expecting the best, not the worse. More than it being an issue of forgiving others, try to see who you are as a person of worth and value that has something to give to other people.

Answer 6

You can forgive but you will never forget. The best thing I can tell you is that you need to forgive them because they were stupid. I am sorry that this happened to you and I hope it never happens to you again. If you want to be forgiven for your sins then you will have to forgive others but I wouldn't hang out with those people or anything like that. Again I am sorry that this happened to you.

Answer 7

Don't hold a grude as you can see it makes you bitter and miseralbe. You have to learn to forgive because nothing is worth tearing yourself apart!! You need to pray for these people and some times people pick on others because they are not confident in themselves so they make others feel like they feel so they can feel better about themselves....Pray about it, don't build a wall around your heart or you will forever shield yourself from true love!!

Answer 8

Give it time! Time heals many wounds. But you need to consider another factor. Even though you have been together with your gf for two and a half years, you are not in a marriage relationship. It should be clear to everyone that marriage is a legally sanctioned relationship and the being friends, even though you live together, is not the same.

Answer 9

Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to hang around with them. Holding a grudge is like taking poision and expecting someone else to die. Forgive and learn.

Answer 10

Rise above them. Sucess is the best revenge. Go back in 20 years to your highschool reunion you,ll be surprised what these mean people have done with their lives.