why is it that we always want what we can't have?

Question

if we have this we want that. why is the grass always greener on the other side? can't we just be happy with what we have?

Answer 1

Because we convince ourselves that once we have somthing, we'll be happy. But then when we get that - the job promotion, or the new car, or the new house, we're happy for a while but then the effect wears off, so we find something new to want.

It doesn't help that we're constantly bombarded by commercials and such. Also, since many commercials are aimed towards children, we learn at a young age that wanting is not only socially acceptable, it's expected. Parents never ask their kids, "Do you want something for your birthday?" They ask, "What do you want for your birthday?" Although I'm sure that parents don't mean to, by saying that they are indoctrinating their kids into today's "buy buy buy" culture.

I think that happiness comes from within, so not only is it possible to be happy with what we have, it's necessary for true happiness (although I would make an exception for people who do not have a roof over their heads or enough food to eat...those are wants that fulfill basic survival...it's hard to be happy when your stomach is constantly growling). But if you have enough food, and shelter, and clothing, anything else is just superfluous. Sure, you could buy that expensive new luxury car...or you could buy an older, used car for less than half the price and essentially get the same thing.

Obviously wanting can happen with non-commercial things too, like "If only I had a boyfriend I'd be happy." Once again, the happiness effect will wear off after the boyfriend's been around for a little while. That's when the couple typically breaks up, unless their relationship is based on love and compassion instead of wanting.

I hope that answers your question. :-)

Answer 2

That has to do w your focus of life, your meaning of life if you will. If you focus on yourself, w living the best life you can for yourself, getting the best stuff, and living as comfortable as you can, then you will never be happy. There will always be greener grass, and a fence you have to pass over to get there.
There is, however, another path. The path of the spirit. On this path, you value your relationships above all else, and your relationship w/ God you hold the highest. On this path you seek to do good for others, feed them, clothe them, guide them when you can. You won't live the most comfortably on this path, you won't always have the shiny new toys either. But even if you aren't always thrilled about life, even if you aren't always happy, you can be content at all times.

Answer 3

If we were always happy with what we have, there would be no progress. We would just sit around all day not striving for anything better.
This would probably lead to humans dying out as species.
So to answer your question -- we always want more because it is a evolutionary trait common to successful species.

Answer 4

Because it's simply human nature. We all lust and yearn for something more. No one is ever satisfied with what they have. We would probably all be satisfied with what we had if everyone was the same (i.e.-looked the same, dressed the same, had the same job, etc) but because jealousy is also human nature, we see others having something that we think is better, become jealous or envious, and then want that too.

Answer 5

This is because we as humans created in the image of God have in ourselves a void that can only truly be filled by an intimate relationship with Him, just as God desires to enter into an intimate relationship with each one of us. We try to fill this void with various pursuits, but find that it is never filled until we enter into that relationship with God for which we were created. This is why people in a true relationship with God are typically happy and fulfilled regardless of there physical circumstance.

Answer 6

To answer your question, We must define the phrase "can not". If "can not" is in your belief structure, then you will not have. We all strive for finding, and ultimately having Personal Happiness. To achieve is to go beyond "can not", into I "can" and end up with I "have."

Answer 7

life is in the doing,the process and challenge not in the getting what you want,that pleases nobody.


Also some people have a terrible sense of worth,and don't feel they deserve the things they do get,so look out for things that they can't get in order to sustain their worthlessness.

Answer 8

Because society thrives on training our minds to think that we need things that we want instead of just wanting what we already have.

Answer 9

We are created with needs in us and will always be seeking for something. This will make us turn to God for help.

Answer 10

“It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

The things you have now are the things you once hoped for.