Will I be gay and alone for the rest of my life?

Question

I'm 28 y/o and very closeted. I still live at home w/mom & sisters ...although I'm very soon to moving out. I acknowledge that I'm gay because I have a strong attraction to guys. However, I don't really meet any guys naturally the way that I would like or no other guys really express an interest to me that they like me in the "real world." I think I'm handsome enough too .

I don't really like meeting folks from the Internet because I always feel like its a sexual obligation type of thing. I also not into the club scene or any "out and proud" sort of events because I feel like it is a meat market. I'm really mellow, very positive, down to earth, aspiring sort of guy and I like outdoorsy things and travel.
The guys that I like, I often find out that they have a girlfriend or married afterwards. I just feel like I don't want to be gay sometime because I feel like I'm going to be alone and bored for the rest of my life. Is this feeling normal? Any suggestions to deal with this?

Answer 1

this happens to gay, straight, and in between folks. you are in a slump. try going to new places to meet new people. have you tried coffee houses, yet?
you will not be alone forever, i assure you.

Answer 2

I didn't start dating guys until I was 27 and didn't come out of the closet until I was 28. I tried to meet guys on the internet a few times but it never worked out. I ended up going to the clubs and the gay pride events and met some quality people at both. The clubs can be a kind of meat market, but most people who go there aren't just looking for sex (those are the ones on the internet). Your feelings are normal and I felt the exact same way. You will not meet anyone sitting at home and hoping to meet someone, you've got to do something where someone else can meet you.

Answer 3

Sigh..... It's something we all go through. You will have to find a way to put yourself out there. The Internet doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be. The whole thing is about negotiating boundaries. You start by a simple profile on line or in the "real world", and stick to your rules and boundaries. I've built this wall around me too, and eventually, when I'm ready, I'm going to have to put myself out there too! You can't stay where you are forever... somethings got to change. You are at a place where you are ready. Take a chance. Place an ad, start a profile on an on line site. Check out a local Gay center. Get involved in an activity where you will be with other Gays and Lesbians... gay pride? Volunteer... You are going to have to have a little faith, too. ...And patience! Know that you are definitely not alone. The fact that you are starting to probe your possibilities by putting this question out here is a great start! Take care and good luck!

Answer 4

You are just not running around in the right crowds. There are a number of groups you could enjoy being with, including hiking, camping, skiing, bowling, and other activity clubs. Go to http://www.gayoutdoors.org/ to check out some of the activities.

You can also go on a gay cruise, such as those found at http://www.atlantisevents.com/

There are also arts groups, such as Gay Men's Choruses in many cities. To find out if there is a chorus near you, email [e-mail] .

Also you can meet gay men by volunteering at a local AIDS services organization. Check your local telephone book.

Answer 5

This isn't a gay issue. It's something that everyone who is single, regardless of their sexual orientation, has to face.

You have to realize that that you being gay isn't the issue here. You are probably a great guy, but the world is full of jerks and it's not your fault. Have you ever heard the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince"? That pretty much sums it up.

There are other guys out there just like you and one day you will find one and the magic will begin.

Answer 6

Well,
you are off to one heck of a non-interNet start...

join a choir.
a book club
a political group.
volunteer at a school.
do things that community members do
where you can engage with People.
Develop into an interesting Person.
GAY is not the only aspect of your personhood.

And in the process of living life,
others will be attracted to you.
They may have gay friends or be gay themselves.
Get up from the computer

Answer 7

Honey dont even think being alone has anything to do with being gay...I mean look at me I am a straight female and honey I am alone...it has nothing to do with your sexual preference but merely are you making yourself available...You dont have to do the internet thing or clubs...look at coffee houses, bookstores, music festivals...there is always someone for all of us...Heck if worse comes to worse we can be room mates and grow old together...LOL j/k Good Luck!

Answer 8

I have felt the same way at times. Slowly I am coming out to a few more people, who luckily have gay friends they can introduce me to. You'l have to tell some people or just go to a gay club to meet people.

Answer 9

not only we gay got difficulty in finding a partner, many of my straight male friends also have the same problem as us. You have to open up and go check out cute guy in town. if u continue to stick to current lifestyle, for sure u will be lonely for the rest of your life.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you're looking in all the wrong places...but you never know---I mean, I met my husband in a bar 20 years ago..and neither one of us went to bars...you just never know when someone is gonna come around the corner.