I lived with a boyfriend a few years ago, 3.5 years together, 1 living together. We parted two years ago as friends since we weren't right for each other. Now I've been with my present bf for 1 year 7 months, living together for a year and a lot of distant relatives will meet him this x-mas. The question of marriage always comes up since I'm an "old maid" at 26. I love this man and we've looked at rings and he told me we'll be engaged before I get my Masters this spring he just wants to save up for the ring. But I just feel insulted by my relatives everytime they ask "When are you gonna get married?" Why not ask about my thesis or the travels this man and I have done? Why always the marriage thing....I've been in several serious relationships and haven't gotten married because I will marry for life. My second cousins all marry after 5 months of knowing someone, do they expect me to do the same. Sorry want to get most of my degrees 1st! How can I delicately handle this?
2006-12-20 12:46:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be honest with them, tell them that you are trying to plan for your future, and that you will get to the marriage thing when you are ready. Nothing is wrong with being 26 and single. You are not alone. The divorce rate goes down anyway with a little older couple. Just tell them that when you are ready for that, you will have made an informed decision.
2006-12-20 13:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by dnsnowden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably best not to move in with men who are only your boyfriends, and probably even better not to introduce them to relatives during christmas if you arent engaged. People from the old school consider it disrespectful, and probably just want you to get the respect you deserve. Your boyfriends excuse for not proposing is not a good enough one.
2006-12-20 20:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Bonzai Betty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Politely say I am not ready yet. Sometimes just being up front about it shocks them and they can't bully you anymore. If they ask again just say the same thing. Repeat it enough times and it becomes a dead issue. As long as they can perturb you they will.
2006-12-20 20:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes explain quick and simple you need your education so that you can support yourself well if somthing bad occurs. Can they provide if something happens to thier other? I would like to know that my wife could make a good living if something happened to me or my job so that we/she could get do more than just get by.
2006-12-20 21:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time they ask, just smile and ask "why do you want to know?" Or say "When we get engaged you'll be the first person I call." and leave it at that. Don't feel obligated to explain yourself.
2006-12-20 21:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Act like you are going to start crying. They will feel so terrible and rude, and you will never have to hear about it again.
Repeat when you are married, and people start asking about when you are going to start a family.
2006-12-20 21:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the relatives, I am not marrying YOU! So keep your advice to yourself.
2006-12-20 20:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they ask you when you will marry? just tell them " one day" they might understand that you do not want to talk abut it, do not explain , it will get worse
2006-12-20 21:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that you'll get married when you're ready
2006-12-20 21:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋