Does monogamy go against human nature?

Answer 1

Most cultures/religions morally abhor polygamy. But all species that survive extinction have a common trait, which is reproduction rates outpacing mortality rates. Like it or not we have survived as a species because we have been successful at reproduction. Nature doesn't care how many partners we have. Moral issues are secondary to species survival, but highly important to the individuals cultural fit within their society.

Answer 2

Any social institution that we describe as "human nature" can be found to be contradicted in some society. There is no such thing as a truly universal "human nature". That being said, monogamy is a value held by a vast majority of cultures worldwide.

However, I think it's an interesting topic to take a look at in a more fundamental sense. Why do we value monogamy? I think it stems from the fact that we are traditionally a patriarchal culture. Lineage is passed on through the male line - father to son. In the Western World today, we are making great strides in gender equality, however it is still tradition that when a couple gets married, the woman takes the man's last name. It wasn't really until the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s that it wasn't assumed that the man would be the "breadwinner" in the family. It's still the issue during dating that men should be chivalrous.

But because we are a patriarchal society, monogamy is important. That is because if the lineage is passed on from father to son, parentage must be certain. There is never a question as to who the mother of the child is, but barring DNA testing, there is no way to be truly certain who the father is.

There are some small societies throughout the world that practice matriarchy. When the lineage is passed on through the mother, determination of fatherhood is irrelevant. If they don't need to worry about who the parent is, monogamy becomes unimportant.

To me, it appears that monogamy is simply a social construction to insure the propagation of the species (so that the pregnant woman and new mother will have a man to help with the work she is less capable of performing due to the child). However, in today's world, individuals have the ability to be far more independent than they have in any other time in history. Therefore monogamy is currently more of a decision (often imposed by society, but a personal decision nonetheless) than an imperative.

Of course, I don't condone impregnating women and then just ditching because it's "a personal decision I made." What I believe is that people (both men and women) have the ability to fall in love with more than one person, and as long as they take responsibility for their actions. Other people's feelings need to be taken into account when making the decision whether to be monogamous or not, but I don't believe monogamy is a part of "human nature."

Answer 3

I think defining human nature would be the key to the question. Some feel we are just like animals, while others believe that we also have a soul to add to the equation.

I think those that participate in letting all parts of their anatomy exist in the equation(mind, body, soul) can acknowledge that when they love someone and that person "turns" from them, they feel loss and pain.

Those that never operate in their spiritual side or even deny it do not allow themselves to feel that pain. They don't even realize they hurt.

I think our bodies desire sex and to multiply, and our souls desire intimacy and the feelings monogamy provides. I think our minds are positioned between the two to regulate what actions and feelings should go where. But we all have the capacity to kill and it does not make it right. We all have the capacity to make choices, so its up to you to work it out with yourself and God if you so believe, to figure out what you should really be doing.

More than anything, if you believe in monogamy, great! If not, at least be up front with everyone instead of running around behind their backs! At least give others the knowledge and a choice to be with you if you don't like to be monogamous. That's true love!

Answer 4

So many good answers! I have just a few comments to add.

Firstly, monogamy is a strong social principle, and as such is supported by "human nature" from a sociobiological point of view as much as polygamy. Polygamy, however, seems to be the true norm throughout human history- whether popularly admitted to or not.

Secondly, there are many strictly biological reasons for us to believe that polygamy has been widespread long enough for it to impact our reproductive traits. For example- take the different vaginal contractions that accompany the female orgasm during sex with regular vs. occasional partners and the way they influence fertilization; or the different types of sperm present in human semen, some of which is specifically designed to combat sperm with different DNA and has no other reproductive purpose.

The question of human nature might be best separated into "human biology" or "human psychology". Asking such a loaded question in the anthropology section is bound to produce some long, though interesting, answers.

Answer 5

The nature of every human being includes the need to feel unique, wanted and special. To an individual, monogamy sends the message that of all the people in the world I have choose you as a person who I will share this experience with. As a result I do not think that monogamy goes against human nature - it satisfies a basic human need..

Answer 6

Yes and no.

Humans have been experimenting with just about every sort sexual/marriage custom imaginable for the entire history of our species. I remember reading about an isolated tribe in New Guinea that occupied one large house. The women and small children lived on the lower floor and all of the men and boys over a certain age lived on the upper level. The men would visit the woman occasionally to impregnate them, but their normal sexual satisfaction came from homosexual relations with each other. Bizarre? Yes, but true. Look it up.

However, the most predominant procreation system throughout the human race is marriage (one man and one woman). This is because, overall, it has been a successful strategy that provides security for raising children and allows the adult males to know with relative certainty that the offspring are his.

However, we are only nominally monogamous, because there are still some genetic advantages to cheating; for both sexes. Therefore, most of us have a "natural" desire for marriage while still having a "natural" desire for extramarital sex.

For a thorough treatment of this subject, I highly recommend "The Third Chimpanzee" by Jared Diamond.

Answer 7

I think we need to ask ourselves a more basic question...
what is human nature??? can u define a single homogenous Human Nature?? No..

Human nature varies from person to person., from people to people, culture to culture..

so, the answer to ur question lies in the above question.

If the person concerned is a strong believer in fidelity , then monogamy doesnot go against his own nature.. If not, then monogamy goes against his nature..

there is no SINGLE HUMAN NATURE..it varies.. & as long as it varies, there are always 2 answers to this question..:)

Answer 8

That's like asking "Is the entire human race potentially homosexual or bisexual?" Some are homosexual, some are bisexual, and still some are heterosexual. It's entirely possible for everyone to be non-monogamous, and there are probably practical reasons to be so, but it's not a lifestyle that suits everyone. If we could do without our jealousies and insecurities, we would be free to remove sex from the pedastal we've placed it on.

Someone may have the research to prove me wrong, but I feel personally that monogamy is a man-made notion. It's true that we develop strong bonds between one another, but sexual monogamy is not a requirement of this phenomenon. In fact, to some people, defining monogamy by their sexual activity is limiting. We are not our bodies. We can always and forever only have sex with one partner, but what does that prove? It proves that we can follow the rules, that's all. It doesn't prove love. Love is much bigger than sex, and for my husband and I, to limit it merely to its sexual expression is criminal. We decided to swing because allowing the person we love more than anything in this world to be fully, completely, wholly him or herself is exactly what we married him or her for. I love that my husband is a sexual creature whom other women are very attracted to. I love that he can bring other women the same kind of pleasure that he can bring me. Like a kind of out-of-body experience, through these other women's eyes and bodies I can see my husband in an entirely new light. I rediscover him when another woman experiences being with him for the first time. It's a beautiful thing that is not easily explained and sounds downright sick (I suppose) to those who can't understand it.

This sort of thing doesn't work for everyone, but for us, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I consider myself to be an intelligent, rational, well-balanced individual with strong morals and ethics. This is simply the way we choose to express the love we feel in our relationship.

Answer 9

Sociobiology theory would suggest that it does. In order to ensure that his genes are passed down from generation to generation, a male would be at an advantage to father as many children as possible to multiple women.

This theory seems to contradict what is actually seen in society--after all, most marriage practices across the world have traditionally been monogamous. However, this is not the full truth. It has traditionally been permissible for men (but definitely not women) to sleep with many women, even outside of marriage. We can see this even in contemporary American culture. Men who sleep around ("players") aren't frowned upon to nearly the same extent that women who sleep around ("sluts/whores") are.

There are also actually social conditions that promote polygyny, including female food production and frequent warfare.

Answer 10

"Human nature" is how we tend to act, NOT how someone or some institution says we SHOULD act.

****The way we act is to try to practice monogamy with limited success.*****

There is a principal known as "Occam's Razor" used primarily in physics. In brief, what it says is

"Given a number of solutions to a complicated problem, the simplest of the solutions is most likely the most accurate."

I vote for mine.