I cant go on living?

Question

Please no mean comments. When me and my boyfriend went to college in August we were 200 miles away from each other. Things started going bad and I broke up with him then I ended up sleepin with one of my friends.It hurt him so bad but he took me back and said he forgave me. I went through and am still in one of the most depressive stages of my life. I've totally changed and will NEVER treat him like that again. but he's having the hardest time getting close to me again.I just cant do this no more. I hate myself for hurting him. every day I live with this enourmous guilt and I just wanna end it all and I dont know how I'm gonna get the love of my life back to me. Even though we've been together for a year we have talked about marriage and now that's all ruined. I want to marry this man and treat him like a king for the rest of my life but it is just so hard. I know he will need time to trust me again but everyday I feel so guilty. I cant do this.Someone please help.no mean comments

To all of you Angels who shared your love thank you so much! I am getting through this tough time slowly but i think I can do it. Thank you for the support

Answer 1

Your anguish can also be a blessing in disguise. God allows U-turns. We all make mistakes, but the beautiful thing about being human, is that we can change, and learn from our mistakes. What's done is done -- it's in the past; you can move beyond that.

Please talk to a counselor, or someone that you can confide in --don't hurt yourself -- your boyfriend would be heartbroken even more if you were to harm yourself. Perhaps, you need to take a look at something that may have happened in your childhood, that causes you to fear real love. Keep working at it. See your boyfriend as your ally, your friend. It sounds like he really cares. Confide in him. Do things that will increase his trust in you.

In the name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, your sins are forgiven you. Go forth, and sin no more. Love---not fear, not guilt --- is the most powerful force in the Universe.

Answer 2

If your really sorry then your first step is to forgive yourself. This doesn't mean you will get him back but how can you expect him to forgive you if you can't forgive yourself. We are all human and you made a choice that you now regret. Okay so who hasn't at one time or another. If you have learned something from this then take it as a step of growing.
Don't do something silly that you will never have a chance to have a wonderful life. I know it hurts but that old saying; time heals all, is so true.
I look back at my life and have so many regrets and remmeber, I was so depressed when I broke off with my fiance of 4 years. I was so heart broken. It takes time but keep your head up.
Now I look back and am so glad I didn't marry him and how much I would miss with my now husband of 7 years. Along with my two children 4 and 6 years old. Things do get better and sometimes I believe we have to have sadness in our life in order to really appreicate when someone or something great happens. If not we would take it for granted.
Not sure you believe in God but he knows what is planned for you and just trust that it will come. If you do break up then start making time for you. Make some possitive changes in your life, just for you. Take up a hobby, save some money and go away, make some goals that by yourself you can achieve and start working on them even if they are little. When you have possitive things in your life your depression will start to lift.
As for your boyfriend you can't force him to forgive or forget. He has to do that but maybe if he sees that you are moving on (with the normal part of life) then it will help him get beyond this too.

Answer 3

Look-you need to stop feeling so guilty for this. You have him back and things like this take time to work out. He forgave you--so give it time--and if you really feel this badly--go and get some counseling for it--you have counselors at your college who are more than willing to talk to you--at no expense--so take advantage of it. Communication is everything and you have got do so in order to maintain your sanity. Why would you not want to go on living? You have everyting to live for--count your blessings--most relationships wouldn't survive this! Yes- he is having a hard time getting close to you again--but give him time and love him.

Answer 4

I know that its going to be hard to do, but you've got to prove yourself to him again. I know what its like being in a depressed state, but you have got to look at the good times in your life. Try doing something special for yourself. Get out of the house and avoid the things that make you depressed. Trust me its always going to be there, you've got to make the decision that your going to better yourself. Depression sucks, I still have my moments, but I keep myself busy with my kids, family and doing the things I love. Just stay busy and talk to your man, tell him how you feel. If he is a real man, he will stand beside you and help you get out of this depression. Good Luck and take care.

Answer 5

Take a deep breath and relax sweetie. I know that it hurts and I know that you feel guilty for doing that. But one thing that you need to do is give him time. When ever things like this happen you have to give that person time to recuperate. So that they can try to trust you again and get back where you were. Just relax and be patient. I know that that is one of the hardest thing for ladies to do. But trust me he will get better with time and except the situation.

Answer 6

Show him that you truly do love him. Make it so that there is no way that he could possibly be suspicious about your activities and overall, don't mention it to him, just let time heal.

I wish there was some faster way, I really do. I am sorry for what you are going through, but you just have to keep on going. A quote from Winston Churchill (British Prime Minister during WWII, Germans blitzed England a lot, it wa spretty bad) "If you are going through hell, just keep on going." I hope that he can trust you fully again soon, for nobody deserves what you are going through now.

Answer 7

Its very possible that he may not be able to get over it but he just doesnt want to let you go. If that is the case then you may have to let him go. If you find yourself having this same conversation 6 months or a year from now then chances are he wont be able to fully trust you again. And you cant be in a relationship like that.

Answer 8

You broke the trust issue and it will take a while for him to "trust" you again. There is hope, don't despair. You sound as thought you truly mean that you will never "do that again" so you will have to allow for time to pass for him to believe you and forgive. He may never forget but he certainly can forgive. Be patient and not over bearing about this. You'll be OK.

Answer 9

As long as you are with this guy, he will hold the affair over your head. I think you have self-esteem issues, and he's aware, and more important, knows how to manipulate you. Your boyfriend's forgiveness may be important, but you also need to learn to forgive yourself. Talk with a counselor or a member of the clergy. You need to feel better about yourself before you can feel better about the relationship.

Answer 10

if you slept with the other guy after breaking up with your boyfriend then you did nothing wrong at all and he has nothing to forgive you for.
Break up/fights happen in relationships exspecially long distant ones. Talk to him about it and if he continues to hang this over your head rather then moving on, it may be best for you to move on and find some one that's more rational about the trials of life.