My husband's ex-wife has called the police to investigate us for frivolous reasons. She has custody of their daughter, he has custody of their two sons. She has accused him of child abuse, improper living conditions for the children, kidnapping, and violating visitation when she never even set it up in advance. Each time the police have investigated, nothing has been found. The police have come to look at our home three times, and twice in the last three months. I'm really frustrated; what can we do to stop her frivolity?
2006-12-20 12:03:26 · 25 answers · asked by sandra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, calm down. Vengence is a dish best served cold. Venting your anger and frustration may make you feel better, but it will not accomplish your goal. You could get an attorney, file a restraining order, etc. Unfortunately, that would be a total waste of time and money. You cannot prohibit someone from filing police reports. It's the cops coming to your door, not her. It is not "harrassment" as the law defines it and you cannot restrain the police from investigating charges.
Second, document, document, document. Sit down with a pencil and paper and document each occurrance. Note what, when, where, etc. There should be police reports on file for each instance. If not (the police often don't bother to file when it's frivolous), get the names of the officers who investigated and talk to them personally. (Not as an angry woman, but as a cold, calm, rational citizen). Ask them to write out the report. Get copies of all these reports. Be sweet. Be a victim. Don't be a problem, but GET YOUR EVIDENCE. Get disinterested parties (police are the best) to support your version of what's happening. Get it in writing.
Once you have your evidence, your list of occurrances and a list of witnesses, go to the district attorney's office. Falsely reporting a crime is itself a crime. Lay out the case for him. Make it easy for him. Make it obvious(get a lawyer's help if you can afford it). Ask him to file charges against her for filing false reports (and wasting the police's precious time).
He may help, he may not. Either way, that's your best shot. Having the police show up on her door and arrest her for her crimes... well, how's that for revenge?
Once you leave his office, go to the local office of human services (whatever your state agency is called that investigates cases of child abuse). Provide them with copies of all your documentation of false reports (this is proactive. If she hasn't thought of reporting you to them yet, she will). Let them know in advance what she's like so they will discount the report when it comes.
Finally, prepare for a reaction. She's not going to stop. Understand that she's trying to make herself the focus of your lives together. Don't let her. Focus on your relationship with each other, and the home you share. Make her a nuisance you deal with, but are not concerned about. And, whatever else you do, NEVER LET HER SEE YOU SWEAT. The whole idea behind this is to get you to react. Don't.
2006-12-20 12:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by antirion 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order against her, and find out from your local police if there is a nearby drop off center they could refer you to that would allow for you to pick up and drop off the children without ever having to see her face. Your husband should also take her back to court and have his lawyer make the children see a court appointed therapist in order to find out whats going on. That way the therapist can let the judge know that the mother is a whack job.
2006-12-20 12:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately u will need to get an attorney, the cost will be alot, as every time she comes up with a charge she can call them and report it, frivolous or not, they still need to investigate. this happened to my daughter and her hubby, his ex caused them much grief, after it was all said and done, the cost of all of this was 10 grand, and nothing was solved, she can still cause u grief, cause she is unhappy with her life, and is jealous of the life u and he have now. the court system wants the parents to work it out, if they don't work it out, than they have to keep returning to court, the fighting and lies continue, and attorney's get richer. she is trying to piss u off any way she can even if she must make up lies. good luck at trying to stop this.
2006-12-20 12:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Police will soon tire of the ex's allegations which clearly aren't true b/c they've investigated you and found nothing. It won't be long before the politely tell her to P off b/c they have more important things to do with their and the taxpayers time.
2006-12-20 12:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by kmlloveplant 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
File legal papers that you are being harassed by this woman, get attorney, ask the cops what to do. Get on the phone and give her a piece of your mind. Play her game, call human services on her saying the daughter is being abused. Get even don't sit there and take it.
2006-12-20 12:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd talk to a lawyer about this seriously. I mean it's defiantly harassment. I can't believe the police haven't said something to her as of yet. But honestly the only way you'll probably get this woman to stop is to have a lawyer take some steps. good luck to you. ;o)
2006-12-20 13:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Keep your pimphand strong, and tell her she smells like apples that have been inside a boar's *** for two weeks.
Then call the cops on her and tell them there is a strange smell coming from her residence. When they get there, they will take her daughter and give the crumbsnatcher to you because of unsanitary coniditions.
2006-12-20 12:30:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chris B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest documenting every implication she makes. Take names of the officers who come to your home. Get all your reports and statements ready and go see an attorney. Because if she doesnt get what she is really looking for soon it is only gonna escalate. Believe Me.
2006-12-20 12:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think she is just crazy and you can't fix crazy try meeting at a public place so you have a people around you who can talk to the police if need be.. keep a log of events dates and times in your own hhand writeing they will use them in court , my sister had the same thing happening to her and the lawyer said keep a log and meet in public places......good luck
2006-12-20 12:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by glitsyjewels 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Vistation is set up between BOTH parents not just the custodial parent...so look to your husband to blame for that one as well as his ex. There really isn't anything you can do about her, that is her personallity and you're just going to have to deal with it. You married a man who came with "baggage" if you didn't want to have it "rear it's head" then you shouldn't have gotten involved with him.
2006-12-20 14:35:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋