My fiancee and i have been together for almost 2 years. When we first started going out everything was amazing. We had so much fun and we were very passionate. I would feel so excited just to see her. Now it is completely different. I am still in love with her and want to be with her but it seems like its one drama after another and she is never happy. And recently its gotten even worse. She broke her foot so I drove 100 miles to bring her her favorite food and take care of her but she was still upset. She ran up $1,000s in credit card debt on my cards and now she is mad that I cant afford a house and I dont want to get a dog and that I am having trouble finding a new roommate. Then recently she said that she felt like she was overweight, of coarse I told he she was beautiful and I dont think there is anything wrong but she went to Jenny Craig and got upset that I was trying to figure out how to pay $1,000 per month for it. Im just not happy and she barely wants to get out of bed now.
2006-12-20 11:52:36 · 11 answers · asked by Eniva1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow, sounds like you have a lot of stress going on there!This is really sad,but it happens a lot.I ,too am experiencing the same type of relationship problems.It's hard when you genuinely love someone and it starts to wear your spirit down.You start to feel kindof guilty for thinking negatively but this is your life and we only get one go around.Sometimes you are just comfortable in the relationship,even if it is miserable.That can be hard to break away from,but when you start almost dreading being around this person,how can you spend the rest of your life with them? She needs to get some sort of counseling,obviously,for her lack of self-esteem.This is totally not your fault!She has had to have had these issues before you came along,even if they weren;t evident. The most you can do is be there for her (sounds like you have),It is time for her to try to do something before she loses you.Goodluck ALANNA
2006-12-20 12:04:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already answered your own question. This relationship is not going to go anywhere. You already see it, but are not admitting it, and she is putting you through a lot of stress you don't need. You can't change someone else; you can only change yourself. You can not control anyone else; you can only control yourself. If you go into a relationship thinking you are going to change someone, you are thinking the wrong way and headed for disaster. It's not going to happen. Your fiancee is definitely suffering from depression. She subconsciously sees herself as out of control. If (and this is a big IF) you want to stay in this situation, you need to get her into counseling right away. Counseling for her is going to take several years. This could be a mental illness or life long problem. Spend the money on medical help instead of extraneous things, IE Jenny Craig. It's her head that needs changing, not her body. If she won't go to counseling, you only have one choice left. Think about yourself instead of her. If I were you, I would cut and run. Plain and simple. This is a lot to deal with. It only gets worse after marriage. Things have gone downhill in 2 years, just think how much worse it's going to get in 5 more. I hope you make the right decision. God bless you.
2006-12-20 13:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by a10cowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you say you love this girl, I suggest you get out of this relationship. You sound like a sweet guy driving 100 miles to take care of her and she was still upset. Either something serious is going on with her and she's not letting you know or she's just being selfish and ungrateful. You need to sit down with her and let her know how you feel and get her to open up about what it is that is bothering her. There are many ladies you would scoop you up in a heartbeat if she's not interested anymore.
2006-12-20 12:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by jambabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the words of Brave Sir Robin..."RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!!"
Think about this: do you honestly believe anything will change when you get married?Why should it? If she is making these demands on you before you get married...can you imagine how she will act when she feels she has "the right" to make them?
She has no concept of money and doesn't seem to have any concern for you, only for herself.
Her happiness or unhappiness is NOT your responsibility. Her happiness is her own responsibility.
And the idea that if she is drugged with anti-depressants she will be "ok" is a total joke. Want to plan on catering to her "depression" for the rest of your life! It's not your job!
If I've ever seen a marriage destined to fail, it's this one.
Walk away clean, my man...
2006-12-20 12:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by roadlessgraveled 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry this woman and have a wonderful life, get her some counseling and get some couple counseling. Some things can be worked out, it just sounds as though she has gotten herself into a deep dark hole and cannot find her way out. But a strong willing partner can help get the help she needs to work thru whatever issues she is facing. Take care....many blessings!!!
2006-12-20 11:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by lynjen31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ding dong. A bell should go off in your head. Your fiance is suffering from depression and is showing the symptoms (not getting out of bed, not loving herself). If she don't love herself, it will be very hard for you to love her. Some of the things that you stated you get upset about is petty and can be controlled. Your fiance may need counseling because of her depression. Recommend that she receive counseling and if she refuse and continues to display this behavior, then the relationship will not work.
2006-12-20 11:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is high maintenance. Is that really the kind of relationship you want? Just make sure before you guys get married. Tell her how you feel and that you can't afford all these bills by yourself. That she has got to get off her butt and get a JOB!!!! if she wants to keep up all of the extras. Good Luck.
2006-12-20 12:26:37 · answer #7 · answered by confused angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Fiancee" ? is before a marriage, your getting a preveiw of comming attractions that will soon after marriage destroy it.
"You" cannot fix anyone, marriage is two who become one, both have to agree what type of lifestyle to live, if you want a selfish wife, then marry "her", but this will affect your children down the road, nothing is worse than affecting children in a negative manner. "Pray" that you are making the right decision.
2006-12-20 12:03:20 · answer #8 · answered by dad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried explaining to her all of this .. you need to sit her down and explain it to her than make a plan to budget your money and figure out how you 2 can make time for yourselfs to be togher alone try it gl
merry christmas
2006-12-20 11:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by angelgodz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes depressed, try telling her to go to the doctor and being on some anti depressant meds that could help. Good luck
2006-12-20 11:58:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋