What scares men away when ladies have the "Marriage Talk"?
What goes on in their minds?
Why can't they share their feelings with us?
2006-12-20 11:44:17 · 22 answers · asked by Sara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My daughter went through about four guys over a period of 8 years before she found the right guy.
Some guys are extremely insecure. They really can't imagine - they really can't SEE themselves - being responsible for another human being. The wave of responsibility that washes over them is not just a passing thing...it's more like a tsunami.
Some guys are extremely selfish. Sharing is just not on the menu for them. Marriage means A LOT of sharing - much more than with a girlfriend.
Some guys are afraid...literally...of commitment. It's almost as if they have an anxiety attack everytime it's mentioned.
And, some guys just aren't into you. They probably wouldn't be into anyone, though, so don't take it personally. Or, do. It really doesn't matter. They're not for you.
Hang in there. My daughter married a great guy (younger than her and very high quality). They talk about everything together and do all the same crazy things with each other that they used to do as singles.
Just keep doing what you are doing. You're not scaring away any men that would make good mates anyway. But, one (or more) will come along when you least expect it!
2006-12-20 12:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you right now that most men are not ready for commitment most like to keep their options open then some men are afraid of getting married because of change then they also have doubts that the marriage will work.
Keep in mind that woman mature faster then men this leads us to the child syndrome in which some men are afraid are afraid of commitment and responsibility.
Most men feel if they share their feelings with women they are not a man anymore basically because they get picked on by their male friends you getting called a sissy and things like that.
That is why most men are afraid to cry also.
2006-12-20 12:08:55 · answer #2 · answered by rich19761 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for some men all they want is to live with a woman and have everything done for him and he wants to go out without them too. Sorta some like there freedom. A man's mind is complicated sometimes, he doesn't know what to do most of the time. HE is always thinking if he can get to live with a girl instead of marriage he's in heaven. ANd as soon as he hears marriage he panics and runs away. He doesn't want the responsibly. Most men want someone to take care of them sorta like they need a slave. ANd to share their feeling it's hard for man because of his pride. And knowing if his friends find out what will they say. SO most men are fools when it comes to women and msot men like men know how to treat women show our feeling all the time and get to know them all over. SO if you want to chat just IM me.
2006-12-20 12:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are not afraid of commitment. They are afraid of getting hurt again. Some men when they love someone they love deep and when that love ends it takes a piece of there heart with it. After that' he is afraid to commit again because he doesn't want to go through that again. That is why some men run when women bring up marriage.
2006-12-20 12:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that he doesn't want to marry you is what scared him. If a guy I was dating, but didn't want to marry, had a "marriage talk" with me, I would run like the wind, too. In truth, tho, I can't imagine dating the same person for 3 years without wanting to marry them... I would rather be single, dating different people.
So - dunno! Find a guy who is family-minded from the beginning. (Believe it or not, some men actually *want* to marry and have a family!) Good luck.
2006-12-20 11:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he felt pressured, maybe has a commitment Phobos, based on some past experience, a previous marriage, or broken relationship. men don't share their feelings as women do. if they don't want to get married and someone pressures them of wants to talk about it, sometimes it is easier for some men to just walk away, easier for some than to explain.
2006-12-20 12:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is not ready to settle down. By you bringing up the "M" word he feels pressured to make some kind of commitment that he is not ready for or get "tied down" like the they say. Let him know how you feel and if he does not tell you what you want to hear then maybe he is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think he is showing his true colors now.
2006-12-20 11:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on their age. The older they are the more willing they are to have the "Marriage Talk". WHen I met my husband I was 20 years old. He was 26. I found that he was more willing to have the marriage talk. If he is not willing to make a commitment then he is not the one for you.
2006-12-20 11:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by Ann D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smart guy.
If we told you the truth, you wouldn't understand or even believe it.
Lots of guys look at marriage as the end of their lives, no sex, gotta answer to somebody again, somebody always criticizing them for the way they dress, watching sports, drinking, their friends, not to mention all the money we have to spend.
I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I know it doesn't sound right, but it's the truth.
2006-12-20 16:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years with the same guy and your just now figuring this out? Ouch! Sounds like you need to be a little more discriminating in who you chose to date.
There are lots of dependable, family minded men out there. No need for you to hook up with a loser.
2006-12-20 12:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by socal pal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋