This is my boyfriend and I's first Christmas together and we can't agree on who's family to spend it with: mine, his or both. He normally visits both sets of Grandparents on Christmas and I eat dinner at my brothers house. Dinner at his Grandparents is at noon, so it makes perfect sense that we would visit there for a while then leave for my brothers house later in the evening but my boyfriend insists we each do our own thing instead of reaching a compromise. I get the impression family is very important to him and he wants to spend all day with them but I would like to see each of our families, as well as each other on Christmas. Any ideas of how I could get across to him without making a huge deal out of everything and potentially upsetting him?
2006-12-20 11:33:10 · 17 answers · asked by Desiree 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's proposing to me this weekend. I wasn't supposed to know about it but now I do and I want both of our families to see the engagement ring.
2006-12-20 11:38:13 · update #1
Get out a notebook and pen. Call all the people and find out the times of the gatherings. Respect each other or there will be hurt feelings. Split the time 1/2 with his etc. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-12-20 11:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should explain to him that his family traditions are as important to you as yours should be to him. I think if your relationship is going to last you both need to come to a conclusion on how the holidays are going to go. Maybe you two can have Christmas Dinner at your house and invite both families over. If that isn't going to work, then Maybe you can try going to his Grandparents or your brothers for Christmas eve and the others on Christmas day. Neither of Families is more important than the others....and you both need to realize that. There is something wrong with him if he wants to spend your first christmas apart. I mean you would want to spend your first christmas with your partner no matter what!! I mean he should want to split your time with both your families at least that would think!!
2006-12-20 19:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by Floridapurrfection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what, no matter what you say it may piss him off. If he wants to spend it all with his fam, then let him, but be the bigger person. Still go and see his family on x-mas and then chill with yours. Make plans to get together christmas night. Better yet, spend the night with him x-mas eve and then when you wake up the next morning you will have woken up to a christmas next to him (that is if you are old enough to sleep with him). If you go with the first idea, then let him know your intensions and that may make him realize that you really wanna see him. Then he may change his mind and hang out with your fam as well. It's the holidays. No matter what you do, don't get in a fight.
2006-12-20 19:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by Candi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your idea is the best solution, visit everyone for a while. Either that or just spend the day alone with each other, but Christmas is about family~~~~His and Yours~~
Merry Christmas
2006-12-20 19:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U may b able 2 spend Christmas Eve with one of your families,and celebrate that like Christmas.Then on Christmas spend the time with the other family u have not spent it with.That's what my bf and I do.
2006-12-20 19:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ luving animals ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what if you guys spent the day together on Christmas eve an all with each others family then on Christmas do what you normally do. another thing you could do is if he really wants to go to his families on Christmas then why don't you split your time between your family and his.
2006-12-20 19:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by angeldancer68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, do your own thing but then plan an evening of christmas together. like pick a certain time you are both to be home and then stick by that. with both of your families. good luck
2006-12-20 19:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by stunt101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should try your first Christmas together another year. Sounds like your relationship has not progressed to the point of being able to amicably compromise.
Assuming you stay together another year, you will have matured and perhaps you will be able to come to an agreement. Assuming you dont stay together, you can try again with someone else, and you preserved your own Christmas memories.
Besides, there is another plus to staying apart for Christmas: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".
2006-12-20 19:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by Uncle Remus 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Compromise. You can eat at your brother's either the next day or later that night together. He's not bending too much but be the person you would like him to be and if he's not selfish he will appreciate it and reciprocate.
2006-12-20 19:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that if you want a serious relationship then you have to agree on things like this. Compromising is key. It makes perfect sense what you said...go to his family's thing first, then your brother's...whats wrong with that?!
2006-12-20 19:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by BUTTERCUP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋