Do women get enough credit from other women and society as a whole for being stay at home moms?

Question

Am I alone in this that I feel almost embarassed to admit I am a house wife? I don't know why I am embarassed because I honestly feel that caring for and raising my children is the most important job I will ever do. Perhaps it is the feminist thing that we need to have professions to be validated as humans and choosing to be just a mother and not taking on a job isn't living up to my potential. Or maybe I feel people think that those of us who are "just mothers" have taken that path because we aren't smart enough or are too lazy to go in another direction. Am I alone in this feeling that in order to be good enough in everyone's eyes I must also take on a job as well as being a mother? I would love to hear what you think!

Answer 1

I totally agree with you! I think that raising children is the most important job anyone can do. You are shaping the future generation. I don't think that stay at home moms get enough credit. To be completely honest with you if I didn't have the desire to be nurse to much I probably would stay at home to be with my children. I actually don't have any children right now, my husband and I are waiting until I am out of school. But I think what stay at home mom's do is amazing and more power to you and all who do it!!!

Answer 2

First I must say, I hate the word "house wife" homemaker sounds so much better. I work and take care of my children. My choice and because of being a single parent. However, being a full time homemaker is one of the hardest and least appreciated jobs in the world. you should not be ashamed of this. Be grateful that you have the opportunity to do this, it is a blessing. I think that many women are either jealous they wish they could but are unable. And some women if given the choice would rather work full time at a career. There is no right or wrong. It is all about what is best for you and your family. And really sad but true, most females within society are not empowering of other females. They work very hard at tearing each other down, rather than being supportive and building each other up. Keep doing what you are doing and be grateful you are able to do this. If you want to work then do that. But ultimately if you have the choice, you are very blessed and do what makes you feel good and what is best for you and your family. Do not be embarrassed in anyway. Why you are caring for your family, this is the hardest and most unappreciated job in the world. Don't be ashamed. Say it with pride. Good luck. Have a blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year! God bless****

Answer 3

Hardest job on earth my @55. Why don't you think about your comments before you spill out your ignorance. How about staying up for three day staring out into the desert while praying the next mortar doesn't hit your bunker? The fact is if you want respect get an education first then prepare for your children instead of just popping out puppies at will. Then you can honestly say that you choose to be a house wife and it wasn't just the only thing you can do; because anyone with a functional reproductive system can spit out offspring. Being a mom takes a whole lot more. And believe me raising children might indeed be very difficult but at least it is equally if not more so rewarding than going to a job everyday. Any educated woman that properly prepare for their child and has a partner that can sustain a good standard of living are the ones that truly deserve great respect even the ones that fell on hard times that at least tried to prepare also deserve respect and tax payer assistance.

Answer 4

Erin, it IS the most important job you can do. I believe the same as you, and I consider myself to be feminist. I think raising and teaching the next generation is the most important job you can have, and I plan on staying home when I have children. But, some women aren't cut out for it...it takes a lot of patience, and, in MY mind intelligence to raise children (and do it well) without "outside help." There are plenty of women (whom I know personally) who really don't have what it takes to be a full time mom. Some women just want a career...and that should be okay, too. Feminism is really about having the "choice." (There are some families who just can't afford it, though, and THEY should be commended too, for doing everything they can for their family.) You shouldn't feel like you are "less than" for your choice, but our society as a whole needs to learn the VALUE of full time mothers...and just remember that you are doing YOUR part to make the world a better place.

Answer 5

To tell you the truth, house wives don't get enough credit. But I think its mostly because other women are jealous. Most families don't have a stay at home mom because they can't afford it. Now i am not saying that women prefer to stay home, because many don't, but there is usually no choice in the matter. But I don't think that you should be ashamed to say that you are a stay at home mom, if you get a weird look from a woman its more than likely because they have nothing to talk about with you. Sadly, the first conversation starter is swapping war stories about the office. So don't be embarrassed but understand that the world of women is totally different now and some women just don't know how to mold their homelife with their worklife. Lastly, many women have to be a mother and work, which is stressful because you hear all of these horror stories about how your children will end up just becase they were put in daycare. All of these working women don't look down on you they are just so many things to take in once they hear what you said that they can't handle it.

Answer 6

I think that a great deal of why society as a whole (and women like me in particular) tend to denigrate SAHM's is because we don't know what you DO. Intellectually, I'll accept that raising children is a more-than-full-time job, and I know that housecleaning is timeconsuming and NEVER finished. But I've never worked in a daycare, never done more than a few hours of babysitting as a teenager, and don't generally see my friend's children for more than a few minutes at a time (my choice). Since I don't like children, I really have no concept of what a SAHM's daily schedule is. I only know that the 'typical' children's party shown on TV is one of my own personal visions of hell, so emotionally, I react badly to someone who's deliberately chosen to live in what I'd consider to be hell.

Aside from the lack of knowledge about what you do all day is also that the perception is that you spend all of your time at home. This is something that people who work from home sometimes fight, that telecommuters are slackers and spend all day watching television (or on Y!Answers).

I appreciate your bringing up this question. I had to think about why I felt the way I do about SAHM's to answer your question, and I am in the wrong. Time to do some attitude shifting.

Answer 7

Erin, you hold your head high, you are doing just what God wants you to do- to be a good wife and mother- nowhere in the Bible does it say go get a career so someone else can raise your children- hope your a believer because I get my info from there> I am a stay at home mom- I home school my daughter- I cook 90% of our meals from scratch (I even grind my own meat for hamburger etc..)and I feel my life is full!!! I have had jobs before and they never gave me the sense of fulfillment that raising my daughter and taking care of my home and husband do... just remember to raise your children to follow God and that the worlds opinion of them won't get them into "The Kingdom", keep up the good JOB_mother-maid- cook- nurse- teacher-etc.... not many can fill my shoes- I am a valued employee!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

You are a Home Manager. With this job you must have high self-esteem and be able to multitask. Its a lonely position but the gratification is endless. You have more skills than a college graduate. You are in charge of life and its lessons. Its low pay and long hours. Many women can't handle it so they choose careers which gives them more of a pat on the back and a pat in the pocket book. I believe if you have children you should stay home and take care of them and the house and the book keeping and the yard and automobiles oh yes laundry,dishes, meals and also be the nurse when they are sick. Sorry there is no room for another job. You must sleep a couple of hours a night to be this productive. So screw those who say you are not doing anything but watching soaps. Raise your children they DESERVE IT!

Answer 9

Many women are stay at home moms today. They may feel like you, that this is something many people think is degrading. And they don't want to really mention it to others. That some people may think they are not good enough or smart enough.
This is truly a terrible thing. Stay at home mom's are working at a full time job. A job, where they get under paid, and not enough commendation for all their sacrifices.
Until two weeks ago, I was a stay at home mom for many years. It brought me closer to my family, and it was so good for us. My family is one of the top priorities for me. I would not trade all the time I spend with them. It makes our children grow into better adults when the parents spend more time with them daily.
My children have grown to be great kids because of my sacrifice. Now I need to work, but I really miss the time I spent at home. Don't be discouraged by others, they are your kids, and it's up to you how you want to live your life with them.
Keep up the good work. Each person's life is different, no one should judge another for their lifes choices. Especially the good choices. Kudos to all the mom's out there, even the ones who have to work outside the home, like me.

Answer 10

You are a wonderful mother! You are doing exactly what you think is right and you dont have to compare yourself with others and put yourself down. Your children learn from early years what is caring, and love. You are there for them when they needed you, believe me they are going to be there when you need them in oldage, Children growing else where have to deal with anxiety, insecurity, and feelings of rejection or abandanment and this speaks out when they have to deal with life challenges.
YOu have no idea what you are giving to the world, you are presenting to the world secure children and to face the world with confidence. What more do you want as a gift of your time with your kids, YOur kids have better values, like patience, love, care, regards, respect tolerance, and simplicity.
Women go out to work because of life situations and demands, all bad thoughts come only when you see things as better then what you have. Do you enjoy work? that is a question you need to ask, if yes then you should work, but dont work because others are working, what kind of happiness will you get when deep down you are not happy doing it, Keep your self esteem intact, and let not your esteem be from the other, Society is crazy, do you want to flow with the society or choose your own path based on what you feel is right?