Is smoking pot a dealbreaker?

Question

My ex husband and I broke up 3 years ago.One issue was that he smokes pot daily and I never do. I started to really hate spending my evenings with someone who is stoned every night. He wants to get back together and remarry. He is an awesome guy in many ways but the pot really bugs me.I cant explain why. It just turns me right off. He is not interested in quiting,he doesnt think its a big deal and that I should just accept it as part of him. He is the same guy who wouldnt date or be with a woman if she didnt have nice feet. He has a foot fetish he cant explain. ( I have nice feet..lucky himLOL) I try to use that as an exampleofhow I feelabout pot.He gets it but doesnt think its the same.

Has anyone else dealt with this issue? What are some thoughts?

Answer 1

I think, both of you are right. You are totally right to feel the way you do about pot. I can relate, I would not be interested to spend the rest of my life with someone who is "altered" all the time. Some of my friends smoke pot, and it's fine, but I couldn't live with them 24/7. But, he's also right in that he does things his way, and he's honest with you about it; if you decide to get back together with him - this will have to involve your acceptance of him the way he is, pot and all. You absolutely don't have to go back to him if you feel this strongly about the issue. Make your decision and stick by it. Appreciate his honesty, but don't demand him to change if he can't or doesn't want to.

Answer 2

Smoking pot is an addiction, however as a nurse I can see it as a medication. I'm on the fence on this one. If it turns you off and you can't get past it you must let go. Surely you two could come to a compromise, as a chick with bad feet at least he found the feet he is looking for. And the whole thing with pot, as an ex smoker, it will take time, and it is very much a security blanket, once you start getting stoned and have access it's easy to justify especially if you are smart enough to keep out of trouble. Unfortunately it is still illegal and cops aren't so friendly. If you have children it is best to get out now, or at least attempt to make it an out of house festivity. It really isn't such a bad habit, it's just unfortunate it is illegal. I had to make the decision to quit only because I've worked too hard to be a nurse to let it go. Maybe he will decide that you are more worth it?

Answer 3

I had a Boy friend with this issue and I would have to say it did end up breaking the deal. Do you really want to go back to the what you hated so much that you divorced it before? I would say move on. You don't want to be my aunt that has been married and divorced from the same guy 8 or is it 9 times.

Answer 4

I personally don't smoke pot, but I don't mind people who do. I just prefer not to smoke because its not my thing. If everything else about him is good then I think you should think about giving him another chance. Tell him to smoke somewhere else if you don't like him smoking around you. Btw my boyfriend smokes and I don't mind as long as its not around me. He's perfect for me, and if I let smoking get in the way of it I would miss out on such a good guy. As long as he's not actually do other drugs like meth or whatever then I think its fine. Hope I've helped in some way!

Answer 5

I have smoked pot before & did not like the way it made me feel so I never touched it again. What I don't like about it is that it makes you feel stuck & out of control, like you can't move your body the way you want & need to. It slows you down & makes you the "fun sucker" of the hangout, party or situation. Plus, it makes people ACT stupid & CARELESS. Why be with someone who has no control of their actions & is CARELESS & is a "fun sucker". You might as well have some beers & get a buzz, that's a much better feeling & it doesn't make you just want to lay on the couch & eat everything in sight.

Answer 6

I WAS MARRIED TO A MAN FOR 8 YEARS THAT WAS THE SAME WAY. HE HAS SMOKED POT SINCE HE WAS A TEENAGER AND WAS EVEN ENCOURAGED BY HIS PARENTS WHO DID IT WITH HIM. HE SAID TO ME THAT I NEEDED TO ACCEPT IT AND BE HAPPY, THE ONLY CATCH WAS HOW EXPENSIVE IT WAS AND HOW HE BEHAVED ON IT AND WHEN HE HAD NONE. NOW MOST PEOPLE WILL SAY THAT POT IS NOT ADDICTIVE, BUT I DISAGREE. WHEN HE WOULD NOT HAVE IT TO DO, HE WOULD GIVE ME SOME OF THE WORST BEATINGS I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. THE LACK OF IT MADE HIM MEAN. BUT IT WAS SO HARD TO COME UP WITH THE MONEY TO SUPPLY HIM WITH IT. THINK ABOUT THIS, IF YOU DONT ALREADY HAVE KIDS, DO YOU WANT THEM TO GROW UP AROUND A DRUG ADDICT WHEN YOU DO HAVE THEM. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM, THEN THINK ABOUT THE INFLUENCE. I FINALLY DIVORCED HIM AND AM RAISING MY DAUGHTER DRUG FREE.

Answer 7

One one woman's dealbreaker is another woman's "Sold!" You know whether or not you can stomach it or you probably wouldn't be asking. I deal with it too. I'd prefer he didn't smoke as much but as long he's quiet and clean pays the cable bill, I don't care. If he wasn't smoking he's probably on some more dangerous prescription psycho meds for ADD or BPD.

Answer 8

if you hate that quality about him then dont get back together because things wouldnt change unless he quit. it will only make you mad because you wasted your time trying to make the relationship work and he is still smoking. on the other hand if you love him that much then you need to accept it and love all of him good and bad qualities

Answer 9

My boyfriend before my husband smoked pot. That's why he never got past the boyfriend stage.

Answer 10

would you rather he go to a bar and drink his life away and hit on girls.let him smoke and look at you feet