I'll award 10 points to the first who helps me better understand my wife. I do everything for her and when I ask her to recipracate she will not. She will start but not finish. I love her but she is mad. We have been together for nine years and I'm starting to find her boring in bed. Any suggestions?
2006-12-20 10:49:08 · 53 answers · asked by Marcus P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you only talk to her during sex, it is not a good idea. You should talk to her about your desires before you in the heat of the moment. I am only going to guess what your wanting and suggest that she may not like the "taste" of "it".
As for her being boring in bed, I understand what you mean. I have been married for six years and things tend to get stale after having children. Perhaps you should find time for just the two of you? Take her on a mini break over a long weekend or just stay at a Holiday Inn, honeymoon suite.
I hope this helps.
2006-12-20 11:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
just give her time. You can't tell her to do things that will make her feel uncomfortable or that she's not gonna like. Why don't you start by giving her massages with oils- treat her real good and be of service to her prior to mating. THis will let her know that her feelings are important to you too. Not only that you're getting satisfied but taht she's also gonna enjoy it and if she's a greatful one- she will little by little bive you what you want. Don't expect it to be right away though- us women do things one step at a time. Well- is she is shape?? if she isn't taht's probalby why and you need to take her out to walk so she can appear more sexier to you. If she's in shape- ask her to wear sexy underwears when going to bed or a sexy little outfit. Try to have more foreplay with her befoer you do it. ALot of men nowadays like going for the kill and not caring about what the woman is feeling and this is probably why. Maybe if you start by going down on her more often and rubbing her more she will get more excited and try new things with you. No matter what you do- you need to make sure that if you have had a fight before going to bed- that you settle the fight because if you're still angry and she's angry too then your chances of getting "some" are slim to none. That's the secret to it all!!!
2006-12-20 11:01:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Understand that your wife's behavior is like many others. Usually after couple of years in the marriage, women change. Women are not usually geared toward sex and sex experiments like men do. The way she was raised may have an impact on her sexual conduit. Religious beliefs and/or the books she reads may play a role redefining her personality. (Read carefully) If you have a good wife who is also a good mother, do not trade her for sex from another woman. You may find her boring in bed but please, understand that her incentive is not sex, sex position or porno in life. You probably have heard of this: when life gives you lemon, you learn to make lemonade. Hang on with what you have, the guy next door is probably living in the same predicament but you do not know. This is the best suggestion that I can give you.
2006-12-20 11:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by alpha & omega 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and ask her why she feels uncomfortable about whatever, and what you can do to make her feel more comfortable. Tell her how much it would mean to you if she would really give it the old college try. Make sure she feels appreciated for her efforts at least. Give it some time, after she does try, it wont be perfect over night. Tell her exactly what you need her to do. Some women are just not going to do somethings. You probably should have had this conversation 10 years ago. What ever you do, don't tell her you are getting bored in the bedroom, you wont get anything. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-20 11:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm... tricky one this...
ok this is my two penneth worth.. have you actually asked her why she stops going through it? she may have hidden issues with certain acts. for example, if the problem is with her giving you oral sex until you climax, it may be because she doesn't like the taste or is afraid she wont like the taste, or that she'll gag when you ejaculate (pretty embarrassing) or she may have been brought up to think that doing that kind of thing to a man is wrong and bad.
umm.... if its a case of her riding you and giving you a break, it maybe because she doesn't feel comfortable with the speed or rhythm.. she may also have less stamina than you and just get tired out. the best thing i'd say is talk to her. Sit next to her and cuddle up before you go into the discussion and reassure her that what ever the reasons are you wont flip. You obviously love her but i don't think she's mad. Hey, she may have had a bad experience in the past thats put her off of things. how would you react if she told you that in the past someone had not told her before they came into her mouth and she choked on it? or the one time she went down on a man he smelt really bad and since then she cant bring herself to do it or the slightest whiff puts her straight off? it may be something like that, or just a lack of self confidence. communication and total honesty is the key xxx
2006-12-20 11:12:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this point is seems that this woman is being cruel to you by playing with your emotions. I know you don't see it now but you haven't been paying any attention to her since she will not do certain things with you in bed. If my guess you are young and she is probably young as well, some people don't know how to satisfy a man or a woman in bed, she happens to be the one who is controlling the limit to this.
It is time for you to be a man and take cake control of this, you are the man and there is no way that a man should have to sacrifice his sexual nature when the women don't want too!
You are good for going this long, there is no telling how long you have dealt with this behavior with her. What you need to do is talk to her and get her to cooperate or things have to change.
You have to do this because of the manipulation that is involved her you have to stop it before if gets to out of control.
Now I have given my best advice on this you can either prosper from the knowledge or deal with the consequences your choice!
2006-12-20 11:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean exactly that she won't finish? Does she get pooped out? Hmmm, have you thought about buying a porn movie and showing her what you like (without offending her) If you like BJ then get a movie geared toward that, if you like stamina, or whatever you're into, try to get her to watch it with you, and she will get the picture.
Try telling her she is beautiful all day, start in the morning, until night time!! Keep the fires burning all day. Maybe get her to have a cocktail or two, so she can loosen up and you as well, and just plain tell her in bed what you want! Maybe it will turn her on.
Happy Holidays!
2006-12-20 11:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I can help a little. Your wife sounds like me except that I really do want to but I just feel too strange. Does she try at all? This are my assumptions and you pick the one that most sounds like your wife since you know her best.
1) She is overweight a little and self conscious about the way she looks.
2) She is embarrassed to do anything to make her look dumb. She may feel that you will expect her do be really sexy and although to you she may be gorgeous she may feel she would make a fool of herself trying to be sexy and ruin everything.
3) She may be religious and feel that God is watching and the things you want may be a little too out there for a religious woman.
These are the only reasons I can think of. I hope I help (and not just for the 10 points).
2006-12-20 11:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You honestly need to talk to your wife and find out why she starts but doesn't finish.. There is a problem there.. If she starts she isn't fully turned off by the idea, but the reason for stopping could be it while she is doing it its uncomfortable? Communication is the key here and getting her to talk to you. In the end ask her if she she enjoys what you do for her, if she says yes, ask her if she would like it if you stopped? When she says, No, then ask her why should it be any different for you. You could also try going to an adult store and buying some items to help enhance the areas she is having issues with.
To add.. You have been with her for 9 years, so if she had bad experience associated with it. 9 years is sufficient time to show her your not like her bad experiences if she had them in the past.
Good Luck to you..
2006-12-20 10:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by Issym 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No pressure. Light some candles and give her a massage with a nicely scented oil. But don't make love to her, just end it curled up together and fall asleep.. When you are making love give her lots of positive feed back. Encourage her to give you feed back. Make love all day (not physically) by touch and little kisses on the neck when ever you get a chance, hopefully this will have both of you horny when bedtime comes. Shower together, soaping her all over. Masturbate together. Start courting her all over again. Let her know you lover her. You will get what you want. And Hygiene is very important ...
2006-12-20 11:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by lollipop 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋